Redsand Canyon You're just like an angel

She sat in the comfortable silence and watched him eat. The tension faded out of her body, leftover lingering tensions from the week fading away. She had missed him; it had certainly shown in the smaller aspects of her behavior over the week, though she tried so hard to not let it.
 
She hummed against softly as he started to pepper her cheek and nuzzle her neck, considering the question. “Not anything out of the ordinary. Treating soreness in auxilia, hunting for herbs… all of that.” She could not think of anything else remotely interesting that there had been. “What about you? How was your week away? Before the cougar that is…” Clearly after the cougar had been absolute hell. Her nose dragged lightly above the scratches on his chest, partially checking for the scent of infection though she knew she had scraped it all away and treated properly, partially to drag his scent through her nose. It acted as a better anti-anxiety medication than any of her herbs.

Other than the attack, it seemed things had been business as usual. Kallik liked when things were boring. He wanted to heal and go back to patrols and training, and then spend his nights like this. But he knew that was not something he could control. They were a military outpost, and he was a soldier; that meant things were likely to be the opposite of boring. 

She brushed her nose above his wounds and he stayed still to let her. He trusted she wouldn't do anything to hurt him; she was the one who had made his pain far more tolerable. Nothing exciting, he said. A lot of foxes to deal with. That part had been fun. There is more forest down there and a lake bigger than the one at the oasis. He rubbed his chin over her head. When it's safe, I will take you there to see it. Eventually it would all be patrolled territory, but he could take her there when he was sure there were no more cougars.

How long will I be on restriction, he asked her. He was worried it would be more than a few days. He would go stir crazy if he had to stay put for too long; he was used to his days being filled with work, and he liked it that way.

He insisted nothing exciting and she hummed softly. “Foxes can be tricky at times.” She offered to not discount him or what he had done out there, because they could be mischievous and clever. “How were things between the two of you?” She asked referring to him and Glaukos particularly. They hadn’t had a chance to discuss the fact that he had gone after the other man, leading to his punishment and she wasn’t sure there was much to say on that either. It had happened; she understood why. The Imperator had handled the situation. “I would like that! What is the rest of the territory like?” She asked, exploring it through his eyes and how he remembered it’s tales.
 
The question that followed was more complicated. “At least a couple of days. I need to make sure the infection fully disappears and your wounds need to heal more before I can even think about letting you back up… and even then you might still need more time before you can get back fully into things. The injuries you both came back with were more severe than I would have liked to see.” Granted, she would have loved for them to be back uninjured, but it had taken them longer to get back than was ideal.

Foxes could be tricky, but he liked that about them; it meant it wasn't an easy kill, and the auxillary liked to be challenged.

At her question, he shrugged his shoulders and winced as the move pulled at his gashes; he would have to try and remember not to shrug for the next few days. He drew in a breath and smoothed out his face. Quiet, he answered. Neither of us wanted to jeopardize our place in Mereo, so we worked together. But there was not much talking. Not that either of them had an issue with that. Talking was not something they did a lot of with the other soldiers. There was often no need for words.

Well, there are these large pillars of red stone everywhere. They are really cool, actually. In the center there's a creepy forest of gnarled roots and bushes—not sure what we're going to do with that. She seemed excited about it all, which had warmth spreading through his chest as it often did in her presence. 

There was obvious frustration on his face when she insinuated it could be more than a few days. But he would do as she said. He knew that was the quickest way to get back to work. 

When she mentioned the severity of their wounds, Kallik nodded.  My plan was to try and not engage with the cougar so we could come back and get help. But Glaukos brought up that we could possibly lead it back here. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt, so we killed it, but not before it messed us up. It was not an easy fight. But it had been worth it to keep Mereo safe.

Quiet. She really had not expected more. She did not pry too much into it either; it still felt like such a sensitive subject and she didn’t imagine he would take to her accepting the blame for his punishment to begin with because he would never let her blame herself. She knew that. He started to go into details, describing the canyon. “A forest? Growing here?” There was a hint of excitement, knowing that it might be a viable place to find some herbs without going too far from the territory. It was exciting! “How creepy is creepy?” She asked as a follow-up question.
 
He started to explain their planning and she hummed at the plan. “Maybe drawing it back here would mean more paws to have helped.” She suggested, though it was in a neutral suggestive tone, not meant to be judgmental. “Though there would have been the risk of drawing it back into close proximity to Tamar, Malila, or even the Matrona if they were near the tablinum.” She offered with a soft sigh, being able to follow through their thought processes. “I imagine not… I am just glad that you both made it back here.” She had been able to treat them; they had gotten back on time… that was what mattered.

Yes, a forest, Kallik answered, nuzzling his nose against the side of her neck. Creepy enough that I did not go inside. I think there were thorns on some of the vines and braches I saw. It paled in comparison to a cougar's claws, but he had a choice when it came to going in the weird forest. He paused his affection to look at her curiously. Why? Do you think there are plants in there you can use? It seemed he might have to go in after all if that was the case; he wouldn't just wait outside while she searched.

She went through the thought processes of both their plans. Both were valid and logical. I figured you would be able to see both sides. It was why he told her; she helped him feel more secure in his choice. It was between risking the civilians to get help or risking themselves and fighting the cougar with just the two of them. He had chosen to risk himself, and he would do it again. I am too, he said softly after Aquene expressed how grateful she was that they had made it back. I tried to find the, uh...yarrow? But I never could find any. If he had, maybe they would have been in better shape when they got back.

A forest with vines and branches and thorns? She was even more intrigued with that assessment, a hint of wonder in her eyes as her brain jumped to all kinds of exotic florae she had learned about in what felt like distant dreams. She looked forward to exploring it… so long as she had a trust bodyguard with her because who knew what lingered in that forest with the florae. “I think there might be… we had a similar climate in my homeland, and there were some useful plants to be used there. I’d like to explore it once the area is secure.” She stated in no uncertain terms.
 
She nodded at the mention of seeing both sides, her ears perking up as she remembered. It had been vaguely in a haze post-incident so it had slipped her mind. “I had talked to the Imperator awhile ago about training… whether it was possible to be an auxiliary while also doing my part as a healer… he said he didn’t know but after the fight, he said I’d earned the right to walk both paths. I don’t know what it looks like yet, but you might be seeing a lot more of me around the training grounds.” She offered with a proud grin on her features. She was proud of herself, even if she still didn’t know what it meant.
 
At the mention of yarrow her expression softened. “It’s difficult to find in this weather… I was hopeful in teaching you how to identify it, but it was a thin chance.” She should have recognized that, but she had taught him on the off chance he’d find some. It wasn’t his fault, just as the conditions that he and Glaukos came back in were not his fault.

It's a date. The promise was rumbled lowly against her nape. He had nuzzled his way there from her cheek while she was talking. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad with Aquene. He knew she would be in her element, and he wanted to see more of that. 

She mentioned that the imperator had offered her a role that would be both medicus and auxillary. She would be training as a soldier—flashes of her on the borders with that bastard's teeth in her skin assaulted his mind; he hadn't even been there but it didn't stop the images from appearing, clear as day. Kallik froze and pulled back to look at her. Fear clawed at his heart. 

She was talking about weather and teaching, but his mind didn't process the words; it was too busy telling him how miserable he would be without Aquene. He tried to keep the panic from his face, but he wasn't sure if he had. He was more open and relaxed with his healer, so the icy mask was harder to keep in place. So, you will be in danger more often, he said. There was no acknowledging her growth, no excitement for what she had accomplished—basically none of the emotions that were appropriate here. The soldier had suffered more than one devastating loss and had learned early that the more you cared about someone, the more it hurt when they were gone. He refused to lose Aquene.

A date. The words brought warmth flooding through her chest in the moment, a soft smile on her features as she spoke and felt him nuzzle against her nape… and then he froze. He froze, her statement met with no warmth of excitement, instead panic that was quickly replaced with… nothing. “No, don’t do that.” She pleaded softly as she leveled her gaze against him, “You’re catastrophizing.” She stated softly, placing a simple term to what was happening. He was thinking only about the loss and pain that could come from it.
 
It was meant to be good news; it was meant to be exciting news… and instead it had been met with the opposite reaction. “What it means is I can train more because it will be incorporated into my role. I’m tired of being afraid of my own shadow or of demons that crop up at unfortunate times. Mereo has given me that… the strength to actually fight back.” She had been denied that in her own home. “I looked Dimitri in the eyes, Kallik. I looked him in the eyes and I fought back. That is a freedom and power I have never had before. Despite being in the middle of a brawl, I had never felt more safe in his presence because I was actually capable of doing something to thwart his advances.” She wanted him to understand that it was so much more than just her being in danger. Sure, she had been hurt at the same time, but Mereo had also had her back.

Her words were pleading, and it caused a stabbing pain in his chest. The auxillary closed his eyes as she continued to speak. He was fighting a war within himself—one between his need to keep her safe and his desire to treat her as the fighter he knew she was. 

Aquene told him how it felt to face her ex, how powerful and free it made her feel to be able to stand up for herself. She had never been given the chance before coming to Mereo. He hated that she had been made to feel weak, even though his own words could have implied the same. All he had taken away from her news was that she would be a soldier and in danger—that he might lose her. 

Kallik didn't know what to say; his words were stolen by the war in his heart. He pushed his face into her neck and held it there for a few long moments. I am sorry, he murmured. When he pulled back, there was pain on his face. I am just afraid to lose you, he admitted. It was a little uncomfortable being so vulnerable; it was not how he usually dealt with things. But I am also proud of you. I think you will do well in this new position. Panic settled heavy in his chest as he spoke the words.

She knew he was coming from a good place, but it didn’t fight her desire for him to see more than just the danger, to see what kind of an opportunity it was from her eyes and her prospective. That was truly all that she could ask for in that moment. He seemed to understand, at least for a moment as he pushed his face into her neck and apologized. “It’s okay… I know you’re just worried.” She needed him to know that… and he admitted that he was afraid of losing her and her eyes softened. “I’m afraid of losing you too… but this way I can be beside you.” She could make sure he didn’t get himself killed just like he could make sure that she didn’t get killed.
 
Some might say it would make them distracted, she would argue it would make them strong. It would make her stronger, just like thinking of Ruenna and Malila and Tamar had made her strong in the last fight she had gotten into. It gave her something powerful and visceral to fight for. “I think I will too… and Auxiliary don’t go places alone, right? Like in the bear and mountain lion training, when Germanicus mentioned it… means I’ll still need an escort, or someone to travel with.” She offered to try and lighten the mood a little bit more.

She was far too forgiving. He knew he had been unfair and selfish, and yet, she was understanding and accepted his apology. She also said she didn't want to lose him either, which only made his feelings for her deepen. He closed his eyes and sighed. A strained smile curved his lips as she pointed out she could be beside him now. Panic still gripped his heart, but he tried to keep any of that from his face. 

He gave a small, amused huff when she tried to lighten the mood. It would be nice to go on a mission with her, even if he would be hyper-vigilant the entire time. Yeah, I guess that would be nice, he said reluctantly. 

A yawn parted his jaws and then he kissed her cheek. He rested his head on his paws. I am glad to be here, he told her. He was looking forward to sleeping in her cozy medicine den and not alone in the wilderness. Glaukos hadn't made for the best company.

What he had done had hardly been a sin. It had come from a place of worry, and with her history, she could not blame him for that… still, she was going to pursue these lands. Even his smile was strained, and she nuzzled lightly at his neck away from his chest to mind his injuries to try and provide him with at least some comfort. It was going to take time for him to process that news. She didn’t even know what her new job would entail yet… but she paid it little mind.
 
She would find out. She would be told what was expected of her. She smiled softly and relaxed, resting her head on her paws right next to him as she kept her gaze on him. “I’m glad you’re here. I’ve missed you.” It had all been a mess, from the spar with Glaukos all the way to this moment in time, but they had survived and they had managed.

Kallik reached over to kiss her cheek and then settled his head back on his paws. I missed you too, he told her. He had probably already told her that, but he couldn't stop saying it. She was the only one he felt truly comfortable around; he could drop his guard and be himself. He had also just missed her calming presence. His default was to be anxious, and Aquene helped relieved that. 

Despite everything that had happened over the last few days, he couldn't help but feel relaxed now that she had treated his pain and was settled down right next to him. Kallik yawned again, this time his eyelids drifting closed. He couldn't fight the sleepiness any longer. 

figured we could fade here <3