Dragoncrest Cliffs Anglerfish

It had been days since the incident with the bird. For that time, Swordfish had made himself invisible. He had only come out at night, to fish in the dark or to look at the stars. The days were spent hiding in the dark of one of his best-kept secrets. It was a place where he could never be found. The quiet of it allowed him to remove himself from the terrible thing that had happened. He wanted to see her. He wanted to say that he was sorry, even though he didn’t understand why he might apologize for sharing a bird with Quennell.

The confusion had made him more frustrated than he cared to be. In the process of becoming forcibly detached, he had to shut off the surprising spikes of emotion that overcame him. This was his other reason for disappearing after the fight. It had given him the time to quiet himself internally. None of those horrible feelings had to be addressed, at all.

The young wolf padded the beach, heading instinctively toward the trap he had made with @Suzu.

In time, Suzu learned to let go of her grief a bit. She hadn't eaten for a few days, until her stomach felt so cramped and angry that she gave in, in the middle of the night, and returned to the whale carcass to feed. It upset her to do so, but at the same time, her body found forgiveness when it regained strength. She was, after all, a predator. Wolves needed to eat meat, which meant killing prey. Once she had feasted and filled her belly, she fell asleep next to it, and found some comfort settle in, as she told herself never to love a prey animal again. 

The gull would be missed, but she hadn't been right to try and change its life anyway. It would have died if she hadn't saved it from the driftwood, but it had only managed to live another couple months before perishing anyway. It made her feel bleak and helpless, and made her feel so very small for having tried to save a life, only to realize that she really had no control over what lived or died. 

That being said, when she looked up to see Swordfish approaching, she felt a flush of emotions. He was the one who had killed her bird, and he had not stayed around to find out why it had bothered her so much. Quennell, at least, had shown her that kindness. She hadn't gone looking for him, but she'd kept to her usual habits over the past few days. If he'd wanted to find her, he could have- but he didn't. She'd even dragged a couple more branches over to the trap, and had just finished wedging one in when she noticed him. 

She couldn't just stand there and stare at him, it made her too hurt. So she turned, and placed her paws on the branch she'd brought over, and began trying to press it into the sand, so that it might be anchored there a bit. Maybe he was just wandering by. She wasn't going to invite him in, but she did hope at least that he might take the chance to finally say something to her.

Deep sea eyes lifted and found a familiar mousy-colored coat. Suzu was there, finishing work with some branches – new additions, it looked like. The boy wondered if she had been tending to it since they’d made the trap, if she had checked on it daily. Guilt gnawed at his stomach, twisting it until it set his heart to racing. The seagull and now this, a project that he had assumed would do all the work for them.

The pale-faced girl did not say anything to him. She looked as though she was focused on the task, nothing more. Swordfish wondered if he had spoiled a chance to know her. It wouldn’t have surprised him, really. He knew that he had done wrong, and he had turned tail as soon as things had gotten overwhelming for him. All he remembered was going to the dark and staying there until the sound of her crying had left his head.

Hey, Su…

The voice that drawled from the young wolf was familiar. The boy’s deadpan voice made it difficult to tell what emotions might have screamed within him. His heavy-lidded gaze was pinned to her. Swordfish wished that he could go back and try again, but he knew that it was too late for childish wishes of that kind.

I’m…

The apology was in there, jumbled around the thousand other words and thoughts that fluttered through his head. The rangy redtail looked pathetic, unsure what he could say to make it better. He feared that Suzu would hate him so much that he had hid, had run away from the possibility of having to face that.

A desperate sigh fell from his mouth, gaping with the hopes that words might find a way to her. 

Swordfish couldn't run forever.

She pushed down on the stick, trying to press on the base of it to avoid snapping off any of the branches. She hoped the smaller branches might catch some kelp and perhaps disguise the trap, so the fish wouldn't avoid it when the tide came in. The sand was firm, though, and even when she put both her paws on the stick, it would only go in so deep before it resisted her effort. 

"Hey, Su,"

Her ears flicked back, an indication that she'd heard him but she merely pursed her lips and put more effort into pressing the branch into the ground. It also made her look slightly annoyed, which was part of her intention. She shifted her weight and exhaled slowly as she rocked her weight into her front feet with gentle pushes, inch by inch managing to push the branch's stem deeper into the sand. 

"I'm-"

Push. Push. Push. Snap.

The branch broke. She'd put too much pressure on it, and part of the dried branch broke off. Without reacting, Suzu put her forefeet back on the ground and paused for a moment, before she turned around to face him. Expectantly, she waited, ears still turned back but her expression was even. She blinked and pushed her whiskers forward as if to cue him to finish his sentence.

The girl who had been so talkative was gravely quiet. She continued pushing against her work, trying to force it down into the sand as deep as she could. Only her ears gave any indication that she might have been listening to him. All of it compounded together had made Swordfish feel frightfully out of place. His inability to address his feelings had started to form a problem, had made him unreliable emotionally. This was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his young life.

When the branch snapped, Swordfish jerked violently. His legs kicked up sand, skirting marks where he had stood. The seafarer’s ears splayed. Suzu didn’t seem to react to the breaking of her target. She simply turned to fix him with a withering stare and a pursing of her lips that made her whiskers move toward him – expectant.

What had he even been saying?

Su, ah… I dunno-

Damn the words and their forming! Swordfish could feel his frustration spike.

I’m sorry, y’know. But I dunno what fer…

Swordfish didn’t understand why she’d reacted so strongly about an animal he was going to eat with Quennell. The sharpness of her anger and the weight of her cries had been too much. He had no ability to remain there and learn what the creature had meant to her.

So, I dunno if it’s a real sorry. Can it be? Did that even make sense to her? Did she care?

He looked ready to bolt, a colt still trying to decide whether or not to trust the one on the other end of the lead rope. She was still and quiet, and held him fast in her gaze. If he ran now, he'd be a coward for not being able to say one simple word to her. Her gaze narrowed slightly at the shortening of her name. What should have been affectionate now seemed somewhat lazy, but she couldn't be convinced that she needed to correct him. Despite how she might have felt about him, she did like that he had a nickname for her. 

He struggled, which rubbed salt in the wound. What she wanted was so simple, she thought, but it seemed almost impossible for him to grasp. He'd come to tell her that thought he should be sorry, but that he wasn't actually sorry, simply because he didn't know why he should be. At least he wouldn't apologize if he didn't mean it, but it would have meant more to her if he did.

He was a coward, she thought. But she couldn't be certain if he was more frightened of her outburst, of of his own feelings.  

"If you are not sorry, den I do not forgive you." She stated quietly. She wasn't going to ask him. She shouldn't have to. She hadn't had to explain herself to Quennell in order to validate her feelings.

That’s not-

But wasn’t that exactly what he’d said? That he wanted to be sorry, but he wasn’t.

Swordfish was angry at how simple it sounded when she said it. It wasn’t that simple. It was confusing and frustrating. It hurt him in a way that he couldn’t grasp for himself. It was cheapening her horrifying response to him hunting. Suzu had come from nowhere. She had screamed at him, lunged for him with craziness glinting in her lilac eyes. Quennell had pushed her away, she had appeared so frightening – no warning, no attempt at reason. For a boy as emotionally challenged as Swordfish, it made it all the worse.

The young wolf huffed out a huge breath of air. He shook his head, desperate to figure out what he should say, with care. The words he’d used so far had been useless. The girl wasn’t fazed, and she hadn’t budged from her stiff-legged stance. Damn, he just wanted her to stop looking at him with that harshness. It was a spotlight on a nerve-wracked performer.

That innit what I meant… He wished she knew what he meant without having to navigate how he might say it. The risk of angering her frightened him so deeply, he hated himself.

Please, just… help me understand? I dunno what happened that day. Ya scared me. Yer scarin- another breath from his mouth, as though he was struggling to find it. Yer scarin me now. Tell me what I did wrong, so I know what to say sorry fer. So I know what I should be sorry fer…

While he didn't shift or move away, he looked smaller to her now. His confusion was genuine, though, which was discouraging. She expected more from him for no obvious reason, which was unfair- she was comparing his reaction to Quennell's, and she knew which already she favoured. Still, the red-tailed boy had come around to try and find out what it was that was wrong. Stubbornly, she wanted to deny him that, and make him figure it out for himself. She wanted him to be sorry simply because her feelings had been hurt, not just because she had a reason that he judged to be fit. 

She looked at the ground and frowned. Now, oddly enough, she felt smaller. What if she explained to him...And he thought she was foolish? She'd been trying to convince herself for the past few days that it hadn't been a good idea to try and befriend the gull in the first place. She'd tried telling herself that the sea had every right to give and take...And that the bargain she'd wanted- to have Requiem found safe- had been met, and a debt had been owed...But grief didn't listen to reason. It seeped through all the layers of logic she tried to use to stop the flow. 

She softened, and she unwittingly lowered her head slightly. Dejectedly, she fixed her gaze on a little shell in the sand, and wished she could just crawl inside it until he went away. She almost wanted to kick the shell away too, flick it into the waves so she wouldn't have to look at it. But that wasn't a way to fix a problem. 

"You will t'ink I am stupid." She murmured bitterly, refusing to raise her eyes to meet his.

Swordfish thought he had misheard her.

He would think she was stupid?

Color him baffled, because he couldn’t fathom why she’d think such a thing. The boy had only ever thought she was bright, far more intelligent than he hoped to be. The trap that they stood beside was her brilliance put into action. The young wolf wished that he had more know-how. His inability to make sense of his thoughts had left him standing stupidly still, staring at Suzu like she was going to sprout gills and dive into the waves.

Swordfish shook his head.

I dunno why ya’d say somethin’ like that. Had he given her the impression that he would think so little of her, so quickly? The rangy redtail felt that he must have been horrible company if she believed what she had said.

Su, I- I got sorry in me but I dunno what to do with it, is all.

It had sat inside of him for days, growing bigger and bigger.

She felt full to the brim with emotions, and all of them were negative. She teetered on the precipice of wanting to shout at him again and drive him away from the trap they’d built, but she was also terrified of being vulnerable enough to explain about the gull. His confusion frustrated her, and every time he used that nickname, Su, she felt less and less worthy of it. 

Something clicked, though, when he admitted how he felt. She looked up, and could see a reflection of her own turmoil in his indigo eyes. They could relate, when they looked at one another. Both lost, hurt, and confused. 

”De bird.” She said, her voice cracking. She swallowed hard and felt her lips tremble. She looked away again, ears flattened. If she didn’t stare at the ocean, she felt it might pour from her eyes again. ”I saved a bird, months ago. ‘Is foot was caught in driftwood…Grandmaman an’ I set ‘im free.” Her voice was low. She felt somewhat ashamed of what she’d done- but deeper yet was the shame she felt when she knew what her choice had done. ”It…became used to me. I shared my food wid it. I earned its trust- mebbe just some of it but…Enough. Enough for it to get too tame. I tamed de bird, Swordfish, an’ it…It died, because I taught ‘im to trust ‘is enemy.” she croaked. With a helpless gasp, she begged with her misty lilac gaze to understand the pain and guilt she felt. ”I am sorry I lunge at you, I just…It was my friend, Swordfish.”

The lean young man did not dare move an inch when she decided to speak. He was afraid that if he stirred, even slightly, that she would stop her talking and would return to the cold-faced girl she had been only minutes before.

Suzu spoke of a bird that she had rescued. Its food had been caught in driftwood. Instead of killing it, she had saved its life and treated it with care. She spoke of it as though it was a puppy. She’d given it food and had shared her space with it. The more that the pale-faced girl spoke of her deceased gull, the sicker to his stomach Swordfish grew.

What horrible luck, to have killed the bird that she had taken as her companion.

When she had stopped talking, the boy watched her.

Swordfish couldn’t understand her reason for caring about that bird. He didn’t think that it was possible to find friendship in the prey animals that they used to fill their caches and bellies. It didn’t matter whether he understood her reasons, though.

I’m sorry fer killin’ yer friend.

The boy finally shifted on his paws. Tingling pain spiked from the bottom, climbing up.

Her gaze fell again. She knew she should forgive him, as it had been...Well, not an accident. It was a way of life, and she'd denied him his kill. But if he had known that that particular bird was important to her, she got the feeling that he wouldn't have done it. And so, it was accident-like, in nature. She heaved a little sigh. It was hard to forgive him, due to the grief that still lay curled up in her chest, a weight against her heart, but she knew it was the right thing to do. 

"I forgive you." It would take time for the grief to leave, but at least she found that she wasn't mad with him anymore. She was quiet for a moment, before she looked over toward their trap. "I, uhm. Do you want to keep working on our trap?" She asked tentatively. He might not want to hang around with her at all, after this- and she could only hope she wouldn't lose him as a friend. "De rest of it we made de o'ter day 'as weathered the tides well, it is strong," She hoped a compliment might lighten his mood a bit.

Forgiveness was offered. Swordfish felt his face soften on her. Was he really deserving of her friendship? After he had killed her companion, he didn’t think so. Yet Suzu gave him her kindness and then some. She asked if he was willing to worn on their trap. The boy nodded his head, eyelashes fluttering over his deep blue stare. 

Aye, I do. Been thinkin’ bout it. Most every day. He wasn’t certain if it was the fish he thought of, or the girl with lilac eyes. Either way, Swordfish felt that it was a valuable way to spend his time. 

Y’think we caught something good? 

Tongue watered with anticipation. The lean young wolf stepped toward her. For a moment, his coat tickled at the touch of hers brushing softly against the peachy colors of his own. The boy gave her a soft smile, hesitant, curious. He wasn’t sure when he had grown so fond of Suzu, but there he stood. The beginnings of love had started to work its way from his stomach to his heart.

Her brow raised, and her lips pulled back. She was surprised that he'd been thinking about their trap, as she'd suspected he might've wanted to be relieved of maintenance and repair duty due to their rift. It seemed the opposite, and that brought her a bit of relief. It eased the grudge that still sat like a lump in her heart, and she was surprised to feel herself flush when he drew close. 

Given that the barrier had not yet been finished, she gulped. "Uhm. No, not yet," She said. She lifted her foot to nudge the stick she'd been driving into the ground when he'd approached her. "It still need some more branches, like dis one." The branch she'd planted in the ground had many branches and twigs, so like a clawed hand, it reached up to form something of a wooden net. She hadn't missed the way he'd licked his lips, though. "But...If you are hungry now, we could look for somethin' in de tide pools?"

It seemed that their trap had not rewarded them, yet. Suzu said that they needed to get more branches like the one she’d stuck into the sand. The red-tailed boy felt his stomach squeeze in protest. Disappointment pushed his pangs of hunger further. Swordfish didn’t want the girl to think that he was saddened by their unfinished work. Still, she caught on to his interest in the food.

Well, uh- how ‘bout we stick some branches in there. Then when the work’s done, we can get somethin’ to eat? Like a reward.

Swordfish smiled lazily at her. There was good motivation in rewarding him after the work had been completed. If they filled his belly with treats from the tidepools, he would be more inclined to find a cozy napping spot than he would be to finish the trap.

Where’d ya find that one, anyhow? Looks like a claw. The boy snickered.

Naturally, Suzu wanted to get the trap finished before eating, but offering to find a snack before starting had been her way of offering an olive branch. She knew he was food-motivated, so for him to offer to do work before eating food...That meant something. It seemed to her like he was making an effort to give her what she wanted, and that made her feel very special. Eagerly, she smiled, tail waving constantly behind her. "Okay! Yes, we do this!" She said. 

A bit flustered by his congeniality, she tilted her head to the side in confusion when he pointed out the shape of the branch. She'd just been thinking how calm his eyes always looked, and now he was asking her a question. "Oh," She said, surprised, and shaken from her reveries. "Oh, yes, it does! I found it up the beach, past de tide line. I t'ink dey be so light dey get blown inland, after drifting in," She said. Eager to distract him from her momentary slip, she touched her nose to his shoulder and bolted. 

"I bet I can fin' one faster den youuuu!" She called out, loping up the beach toward where the grasses grew.

Suzu seemed distracted. The boy took this as a sign that he would need to work harder. He was truly sorry about the bird. Swordfish hoped that she wouldn’t miss the feathered thing, too much. If he had to make up the time she spent with the seagull, he’d do it. She might grow tired of his company, or so he imagined.

A soft touch of her nose to his shoulder pulled him from his rambling thoughts. She made a bet that she could find a suitable branch before he could. Swordfish should have laughed. It was a safe wager. He had little skill with racing or competitiveness. Seeing Suzu take off so quickly did prompt a boost in his strides.

Grateful for his long legs, the young seafarer trotted after her. His eyes scoured for a gnarly looking branch.

She was certain she'd seen other branches like the one she'd used not long ago, absolutely certain. In her memory, they'd been scattered about the beach and she'd simply picked one without pausing to investigate the others because she knew she'd have more to go back for. It wasn't like they were going to get washed out to sea- but as soon as Suzu became competitive, she lost her focus. She looked here and there, frenzied; she wanted to win, and impress him. But the only things that seemed to catch her eye were sticks that were either too short, or didn't have enough branches. 

She muttered to herself as she fluttered from one disappointing branch to another, occasionally tossing a look to Swordfish, to keep track of his progress. She was about to go back to her own search when she saw the perfect branch- but it was much, much closer to Swordfish, perhaps even in his line of sight. He'd notice it soon if he hadn't already! 

"FISH!!" She screamed. "uh- LOOK- A SEA MONSTER!" She said, gesturing out to the ocean with one paw. 

A lame distraction- but it was the only thing she could come up with- before she dropped into a gallop and made a beeline for the stick.

While the pale-faced girl hurried to find her perfect branch, Swordfish moved languidly. There never seemed to be a sense of hurry in his strides. Each step brought him to another stick. He inspected it with a few sniffs, sometimes pulling the bark from the sand to review its length, before he would move on and search for another one.

Suzu’s voice drew his ears to a sharp point. The young seafarer lifted his head in fear, worried that she had found something that might hurt her. When she shouted about a monster, his fur bristled. Where her snout was pointed, Swordfish’s head spun. He scanned the area where she had looked, stiffly standing beside a curiously gnarled branch. Presented with the image of a monster on their beach, he had completely missed the target Suzu had in mind.

There ain’t nothin’… he mused quietly. Deep blue eyes were still trained for signs of the beast she had spoken of. The young boy did not reach the possibility of a distraction until it was too late.

The scam worked. He not only looked, but continued to search the shoreline for the monster, giving her enough time to sprint across the sand and lunge for the branch. She slid to a halt, leaving deep grooves in the sand, before she snatched the end of the branch. When she lifted it, she pranced on the spot; The branch was long and solid, before it split into two smaller branches that spread out like hands with long fingers. She toted it toward him, waving it slightly. 

She set it down, and gave him an appraising look, head tilted to the side and tongue lolling as she grinned. "Aww. You look kind of cute when you 'ave your hackles up like so," She said.

For a split second, he thought she might tackle him. Swordfish was drawn to her when she had burst forward to claim her prize. His eyes lingered on the motion of her legs. Suzu was swift in the sand! It was an impressive thing, had it not startled him half to death in its spontaneity. The lean young man took a single step backwards while she plucked her branch from the sand and hoisted it high.

Then she complimented him. Suzu said he looked cute- well, she’d said that he looked kinda cute, but he was still wrapped up in her words.

Suzu said that he looked cute!

Swordfish blinked his eyes heavily before he turned his snout away from her, heat overtaking his cheeks in a moment of quick flattery and embarrassment. He didn’t know how to answer her. He didn’t know what he might say to being called cute by someone other than his mom.

Yeah, yeah… yer cute too. Swordfish still felt the sting of warmth in his cheeks when he glanced toward her. And yer the winner, so let’s find me a stick I can use.

Her compliment struck him just as she'd intended it to. He didn't flaunt or pose, instead he looked a bit flustered which made him look all the more adorable for his modesty. When the compliment was returned, it had been more or less expected so Suzu was much more comfortable accepting the praise. She giggled and wiggled her shoulders. For extra effect, she tilted her head and fluttered her eyelashes. "Awww well dat be mighty sweet of you to say," She grinned. 

It was, in fact, quite validating for him to have told her she was cute. 

While they had a mission to accomplish, Suzu was stuck on being cheeky. "What do I get for winning?" She asked, tail waving.

The young man was glad that he had pleased her at all. The sweet smile she offered had enough force behind it to divert his gaze. He chewed at the inside of his mouth, unsure how he was supposed to react to something like that. Swordfish needed to keep himself focused. He didn’t know why his stomach felt like it was bursting with seagulls. The redtail convinced himself that it was merely the promise of food and decided to move on.

I’ll give ya… whatever ya want, Su.

Swordfish’s voice seemed earnest. His heavy-lidded stare was fixed her features. The young wolf had no idea what she might ask for, but he’d pay up. 

Name yer prize.

fade and have an updated one? :3

Her cheeks flushed when she was indulged so willingly. Her tail flicked from side to side, putting her flattery on display though she tried to appear aloof. "Hmmm," She pondered for a moment, casting her gaze out to the rolling waves to think for a moment. She wasn't sure what she wanted from him- but she didn't want to waste her prize on a simple request. 

"I'll be thinkin' on it. We put it aside for another time- den I call in a favour. I need nothing right now," She explained. After all, she had what she needed. She glowed still, from having been called cute. "Let's find you a stick too, though," She suggested, before she brushed past him gently, gave him a quick glance over her shoulder, and began to pad off down the beach in search for more sticks for their fishtrap.

The boy huffed a sigh before smiling, fox-like, at her.

I s’pose I can let ya save it up fer later, he said as though making a great sacrifice. Truth was that he didn’t imagine she would ask for anything he wouldn’t want to fulfill. Suzu had some spunk in her, but she wasn’t an outright troublemaker. Swordfish felt sound in the offer he’d made.

When she suggested they start looking for his stick, the boy nodded and trotted in pursuit of the girl.