Hoshor Plains [m] the tortured poets department

Set after this thread.

Eshe waited for Akavir for an excruciating hour. When he didn't return, she took it upon herself to leave Swiftcurrent Creek. While she didn't know where she was going, she knew she needed distance from her husband. Somehow, the idea of a quick jaunt outside the territory turned into a multi-day trip. Eshe headed west, using the exercise to stave her anger.

She was aware that she may draw attention, and, honestly, she didn't care. After spending so much time in Akavir's shadow, some attention would be warranted and welcome.

She continued her trajectory through the plains until she came across the bison herd. They intrigued her, and she decided to take a break and watch them from afar, sitting atop a hill overlooking the territory.

He had been gone from Moonspear for some time—but he hadn’t expected the feeling of displacement upon his return. Acrux remained in the healing ulaq, and Elentari remained at their sons side.

Sialuk was the warm presence she had always been—and yet… something had shifted.

Ketzia’s words still rang in his mind—that unsettled feeling now something ingrained within his soul as he considered the wisdom she had imparted upon him just before she had died.

He found himself trekking toward the opposite mountains—the Sunspire called to him, constantly, and he felt its pull now more than ever.

Instead, though, his trajectory brought him to the soft form of a she-wolf—studying the herd. Cold winter snow glinted from the ground—but he felt a sense of warmth as he studied her.

While she examined the herd, a man appeared in her peripheral, and she turned to him with a smile. Although she knew her scent was why he approached, she found herself not minding the presence. He seemed approachable and had kind eyes; just the sort of company she needed.

Hey, she greeted, feeling a similar warmth.

Where his pelt was pale and silver with late other color-- hers was a myriad of silvers and ivory... a spatter of freckles that adorned her features and that caught his sharp gaze.

She spoke--and he found his eyes trailing back up to study the warmth of her gaze just as he began to trail closer to her. A winter goddess.

He swallowed, the barest trace of a smile pressing to his lips. Hi.

Shifting his muzzle back, he looked to the herd. You live around here?

Even his smile was nice; she lingered on his lips for a beat longer than what would be considered normal.

I don't, she answered before motioning over her shoulder, I live over there—on the other side of the mountains. Do you?

A beat. I'm Eshe, by the way, she said with a wave of her tail as she patted the ground beside her, inviting him to join her.

For only a moment, his gaze trailed from her to the direction she noted, familiar with the valley over the mountains only with the knowledge of their existence—his own place of birth having been the arrow lake.

She invited him to join her, and he swept forward, gaze transfixed once more on the freckles that adorned her dainty features. “Argent,” he offered, and his own silver muzzle pointed up, to the opposite direction of her own. “And I live on that mountain over there. Moonspear.”

Eshe kept her gaze on his handsome face and momentarily lost herself in the pools of his irises. When he introduced herself, she briefly looked away from his face to survey where he’d motioned and nodded. I think my dad lived there at some point, she recalled with a bit of sadness in her voice. But that was a long time ago.

Next, she wondered, what brings you out here? You're a ways from home.

He was surprised to hear her father lived there—briefly recalling any history he might have learned of his home from Sialuk.

Sialuk… He sighed, gaze wistful as he kept his eyes placed upon the mountains distant silhouette. “I needed to think,” he finally replied, his icy eyes sweeping back to her, a wolfish brow arching. “What about you?” It felt a more invasive question—her scent permeating the air, and he shifted at the thought, swallowing thickly.

A dispersal wolf, perhaps?

Same, actually, She was surprised they both needed to think, and a small smile spread across her lips. Maybe we can help each other out, she offered. They were each unbiased parties, allowing them to fully consider each other's situations. But I also totally understand if you don't want to, with me being a stranger and all, she tacked on with a laugh.

But if you don’t mind sharing, I can go first—I need some advice from someone.

“Sure,” he hummed—not at all eager to put aside the thoughts of an outside party. His mother was not exactly an impartial audience—nor was anyone else he could confide in.

It felt lonely, in many aspects.

The wind held a cold chill to it—but the sun above held a hint of warmth.

For the first time in awhile, he felt the stirrings of promise in the graze of the suns rays.

She was relieved that he accepted; this was something that she felt she couldn't confide in anybody in the creek.

I think before I begin, it's important to preface my story with this: I come from a big family, have always wanted a husband and children, and ... have never had any of those until this year. My husband, we'll call him ... Branch, has always been very adverse to having children. He thinks he'll mess them up, which I understand his fears because of his past—he hasn't had the best track record with children. A while back, we were discussing having children, and I almost left because it was that important to me—it still is. I believe I was meant to be a mother. So he quickly promised we'd have kids at that moment and asked me to be his mate. Looking back now ... that should've been a red flag, but I was so in love with him. She took a deep breath. Now that my season is here, he's back to not wanting children, and I'm not getting any younger—I'll be five soon, and I know it's harder to have children when you're older.

We've had other issues, too, but I'm starting to wonder if ... he's not the man for me. She didn't dare look at the stranger; tears threatened to roll down her cheeks, and her face twisted in pain. That I've wasted my time with him, just for him to let me down. Again.

It explained a bit to him—why she was here, alone, during her season—looking sad, yet reserved. Age tended to do that, he felt—his own reserves solidifying with each passing moon. He cast her a sideways glance, eyes narrowed in consideration as he shifted his weight, brushing a shoulder to her in quiet comfort—the most a stranger would dare offer another.

“If he’s let you down before and is breaking his promise to you now… Sounds like you should move on,” was what he came to as a basic conclusion. The two probably should have never committed to one another if they wanted wildly different things in life—children were a hard negotiation.

“Kids are… kids are amazing,” he decided then, feeling a wave of guilt at missing much of Acrux and Maggak’s childhood. Even more so—for finding his thoughts straying to the son he had, if only because he knew, by blood, Acrux was without a doubt his.

That dark thought was something he would never admit to anyone—not even the pretty stranger by his side.

The combination of his answer and gesture finally gave her the courage to look at him again, and when she did, she felt safe. I think you're right, she replied, feeling her throat tighten despite the relief she felt. Maybe a part of her had always known it'd end this way. Thanks, Argent, she said and gently bumped her shoulder against his.

What he said next took her breath away, and she looked at him with a newfound appreciation. They're the best! she agreed as her tail swept against the snowy ground, but then felt her sadness return to the pit of her stomach. This year will probably be another year without me experiencing parenthood, she realized then, saying out loud mostly to herself, and her mouth went dry. She wanted to cry.

A small frown crossed his usual solemn features—the bump of her own shoulder met with only the ghost of a smile, though his eyes remained trained on tear, noting that the grief in her eyes looked awfully close to falling tears. “I’m not an expert on it, but if it’s kids you want more than anything… Maybe he’ll come around if you talk to him. Or… You find someone else to help out.”

From his observations on watching his to-be wife, there was never a lack of male suitors lining up to couple with a she-wolf in heat.

His frown deepened.

She nodded, blinking away the tears and rubbing her eyes. I don't have long to figure it out, she said, figuring she'd have to opt for the second option. Eshe and Akavir had talked at length about having children, and she had a feeling their conversation would go as it always did.

When she turned to him again, she noticed his deepened frown and her head tilted curiously. I'm sorry for hogging up the time. Did you want to talk about what's going on with you?

She made a fair point—but he didn’t have to reiterate that. As she opened the floor for him, he found his ears drawing back for a moment, gaze traveling back to the direction of the mountain before quieting for a moment as he considered his words.

“Moonspear is a different culture than what I’m used to,” he offered, icy eyes befalling her, now. “Intimate relationships are a way to bond, should one choose to, and relationships aren’t necessarily.. polygamous. So, I began courting the Chief, and while she had a few lovers, we grew close. Last year, she birthed a pup… the idea is that the entire village raises the children, regardless of parents. Another she-wolf—who’s also in a relationship with the Chief—carried my son last year…”

He snorted softly. “It’s hard to keep the explanation of it simple, really. I was given the bride price by the Chief’s mother to officially take her as a wife, and I’ve spent months from home, fulfilling this. I’ve missed many things—but now her season is upon her again, and once more, she’s coupled with multiple males… All who get the title of father… and I wish I could be a better man. A man who wasn’t jealous about it all.”

He lifted a paw, rubbing the side of his muzzle with his forelimb. “I can’t help but feel like I’m just one of many… not important. Worse, I think, is that I visited my mother during this bride price, and she was dying… And she basically told me I’m a fool.”

It was an understatement to say that Argent's situation was complicated. Not only that, but it was delicate; his mother had died, and she could sympathize with that. So, without thinking, she reached for his paw and squeezed it. I'm sorry for your loss—I lost my dad not too long ago, and I know it can be difficult regardless of your relationship with them. Her paw lingered as she considered her next words and took a deep breath before continuing.

Argent—you are not a bad man for wanting to be somebody's first and only choice. You have no reason to be a 'better man' in that sense, she began, shaking her head. But it does seem like you're in a situation that doesn't suit your needs—you need somebody who would pick you and only you ... I would pick you she wanted to say, but the words went unspoken. That's just who you are and those are your preferences, and that's okay.

The quirk at the corner of his lip was given—his eyes tracing down to where her paw touched his. Dead parents—it was a club that sucked, but given the years he had with his mom, he was grateful for that, in the very least.

He had no memories of his father.

“I wanted it to work,” he admitted—disliking how it felt like even he realized it was not.

At least, not for him. He held no doubt the wolves of Moonspear were quite comfortable in their ways, and he wondered, idly, if he hadn’t saw his mother… would her words have broken him to this point?

He sighed, turning from her and rolling his shoulders back, trying to ease the tension that crept upward toward him then. “If I try to stay there, I don’t think I’ll ever fit in. If I leave, I won’t see my kids.” A frown, then—wistful, even as he recalled the day watching Acrux try to sneak up on a weasel.

When he turned away, she took her paw away from his. You don't think they'd allow you to visit if you explained how you felt? she asked, lifting a brow. That seems unfair to me—and not like a place I'd like to live in. But what did she know? She could only go off of what he'd given her.

“Not in the same way as living on the mountain with them,” he rumbled, looking down to her. “I mean… they’re a very familial group.” He supposed one had to be when they wove such casual but intricate relations with one another.

“My father died before I grew up,” he noted then, but there wasn’t a sadness in his voice. Instead, his gaze drifted to the Sunspire now. “He had land in those mountains and deigned to rule over them all.” He smirked at that thought. “He was an ambitious man—a bit too much. I spent years feeling like I should try to be like him. For my mother. She loved him wholly—never took another mate after him.” He paused, and then looked down at his freckled companion. “But I think over the past year my wants have become more simple than that… I just want a mate and family. A home. A safe place.”

You’re right—I didn’t think of it that way, she admitted. It made sense that he’d want to see his children regularly, and she couldn’t fault him for that.

She followed as his attention turned to the Sunspire, and she remained quiet as he described the man who’d aspired to take over mountains; he sounded much different than Argent. Their parents were similar in many ways, it seemed, and before she could speak, he said something that stopped her dead in her tracks.

She looked up at him, eyes wide and a smile on her lips as she admitted: We want the same thing. All I want is a place to call home, to have a husband and children, and to have my garden, of course. Her heart fluttered as she looked into his eyes; where had he been her entire life?

“Mmm,” he rumbled at her words—doe-eyes upon him, freckles across her cheeks. He knew nothing about this woman—she knew nothing of him. But in this moment, the herd grazed before them, and the air was chilled with the winter wind… but the warmth from her was comforting.

Her scent teased at him. He was able to refrain—the itch beneath his skin could be ignored, and yet why should he, when the very woman he had been fulfilling a bride price for had certainly kept her own bed warm.

Had never bat an eye at having multiple fathers for her cubs.

He leaned down, grazing his mouth over her a moment—testing the waters—tasting her. He very well could be throwing away everything he did have at Moonspear away—the family he had tried to carve with Sialuk and Elentari… But there was that nagging doubt… He lived a fool’s dream.

They had many to warm their beds. Why not him?

There was silence, and it wrapped around the two strangers like a warm blanket. There were no winter winds to chill them to the bone, only the warming light from the sun. Here, she felt, there was happiness—or at least the promise of it.

He reached down to taste her, and she did not move away. Instead, she rose onto all fours and tested the waters herself. She rubbed herself against him, drawing herself down the length of his body. When she reached the end, she glanced over her shoulder, let her tail linger under his chin, and growled invitingly.

Her thoughts were far from the husband who hadn't come looking for her or the pack of assholes; here, she was happy.

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She moved against him, and he found himself following after her, seeking the warmth and heat. Icy gaze drawn to her, but nothing but fire rest within them, and as she invited him to further his explorations, it was exactly what he did.

This was, after all, exactly what the other loved ones in his life did—simply gave in to their urges, repercussions be damned, was it not?

Perhaps a white lie in his mind for now, but while this beautiful stranger lured him closer, he would pull her tightly to him when the moment came, giving them both this stolen moment… And then another, and another, until the warmth of the sun drifted away to night.