Redhawk Caldera i may be crazy, don't mind me.

Eljay was trying really hard not to freak out completely, but his world had been reduced to only the here and now and these wolves were all he had, and he didn't want to lose them — but especially not his moomy. But the more he thought of the ridiculousness of the situation, the more panicked Eljay became. He just needed to get himself together and act normal, and he knew that, but he just couldn't. He wanted nothing in the world except for to be with mommy, and his ability to stay with her seemed to be slipping through his fingers. There wasn't anything he could do.

His tail tucked as far as possible when she snapped at him and told him that he should behave like a grown wolf. He knew that he should behave like the adult that he was, he knew he was being ridiculous, but all of those things only made Eljay feel worse and more panicked. And the worse he felt, the more he felt that he needed his mommy by his side to comfort him and to tell him that everything would be okay — or, at the very least, to tell him that she still loved him, that he was still her little Jay-Jay.

That was perhaps why he clung so desperately to her now, but everything that she said only made it worse. "M-moomy..." he whispered with broken words while he choked back a sob, shoulders hunched, head low, eyes rolled up to look at mommy's angry face with the same pleading look.

Just go. The words were directed at mommy and Eljay shifted his weight while he processed this. Daddy then turned to him but Eljay didn't know what to do or think anymore. Mommy didn't love him anymore. She thought he should just act like an adult. And daddy was trying, but he couldn't hide the truth either.

That he was acting like a foolish child when he should be acting like a grown-up.
That puppies don't stay with their parents forever, afraid of the world outside their pack, clinging to their mommy, jealous of their better and more adjusted siblings.

But where else could he go? Eljay felt tears prick at his eyes as he turned back to mommy. Do you want me to leave? he asked silently, and he wanted to say the words, he really did, but when he tried all that came out was choked sobs and forced breaths that he didn't even realise he'd been holding all this time.

The worst part was that maybe he didn't dare ask the question because he felt that he already knew the answer.

And he didn't like the answer and all that it implied — because he was too cowardly to follow up on any of the implications it held, because he was too afraid to leave the Caldera and leave his parents alone, and he was afraid to be alone even if he also felt that that was what would be best for everyone.

And suddenly he felt regret that he hadn't died when he almost did, when Liff and Lagan had saved him, even if they didn't know that they had. Maybe they'd think back of him fondly now, rather than stare at him like he was a freak — because he was.

And he just stood there and sobbed while he was slowly crumbling apart on the inside, presumably while he watched the most important wolf of his life walk away.