Bearclaw Valley And now it's hard to breathe

All he said were excuses in Laurel's ears. 'She has to', 'my parents did the same'. Didn't he see that it wasn't just her position in the ranks that fucked everything up? She knew there was no use to ask him if and why he didn't see any of it because he was just a dumb man, like they all were.

He said that he didn't think she was interested and she frowned, then hissed with a tone of disbelief: "You didn't think I was interested when I was between your hips?" Okay, truth to be told, she hadn't entirely been interested, not until later when she realised that it was more than the dumb girl having him that bothered her. But still. He should've known. He should've asked. He should've at least realised that there might be something there, something more than 'oh, you're one of my pack mates carrying my children'. "You bring her everything she needs and I get nothing!" she said, her voice raising again as she felt the anger in her chest rise, too.

She huffed when he proclaimed to being a father to them. "How? How will you even explain to them what they are? How will you explain to them why you're never there? You're not even there for me now, so how can I expect it to be different when they're here?"

When he asked what she wanted Laurel narrowed her eyes. Wasn't it clear yet? Didn't he see? "I want what I deserve, Xan. I deserve a place by your side -- you should be mine, not hers. You know it but you are blinded by some foolish puppy love for someone who cannot even say the words back." Laurel frowned darkly and then, out of the blue, she closed the gap between them and pressed her head against his neck. It felt so good to be there, but she knew that it would never be. She said, voice low and filled with sadness because she knew that it would probably not happen the way she wanted it: "My children deserve to be princes and princesses and I will make it so." One way or another. The weight of the threat made her lips tremble but she was not joking. Laurel stared intently at Xan. Had she not been pregnant she would have challenged him here and now, claim not only his wife's throne but his own too if he would not choose for her.