November 01, 2018, 06:37 PM
Valette liked the honesty that she was getting from Greyback. His words hit close to home for her. Often she didn't know if she was making the right decisions. As a leader, she couldn't look back and dwell on what if's. Then there would be many cases where she could dwell on what would be a better scenario and probably never get a good night's rest. "I didn't mean to make you doubt your past decisions," she spoke more seriously then. As that wasn't her intention at all. "You did what you thought was right and you shouldn't blame yourself for that. I was just wondering because if you were dwelling on past decisions... I would want to be there for you. Or at least know you can talk to me about it," she spoke and then was suddenly a bit shy about her offer.
She quickly found her confidence again. They were opening up to one another so her offer was not one that was out of place. It was the same case with the whole Stark topic. It warmed her heart that they both wanted to be there for one another. Valette had experienced before how nice it was to open up to someone about your feelings. It was with Greyback as well, when they talked about past mates and losing a beloved one. "There isn't much to talk about it, really," she spoke, her brow a bit more into a frown. "It does a lot to your self-confidence having a partner abandon you,' she sighed. Especially, after she tried to care for him for so many months during his illness and while also raising three children. "It is different than having your mate die, be taken from you. This was a choice. His choice to leave me. His choice to leave our children," she spoke, looking slightly angrier.
"The worst part is that it doesn't shock me anymore," she admitted. "I don't have a good track record with partners. I'm used to it." Saying it hurt, often she felt cursed, but she knew most of it wasn't her fault. "It isn't even with partners. Fathers, father figures, and a brother. Most male wolves in general." Valette stopped walking as the realization hit her. Her frown turned to embarrassment. Perhaps she opened up too much. There came the self-doubt, the insecurity. Now Greyback might think she was stupid. Just making the same mistake again to trust someone, to then get hurt once more in the end. Once again alone while raising children. But how she loved children. She dreamed of more litters with little balls of fluff she could fuss over.
"You must think of me as foolish," she whispered, looking more insecure. Suddenly tears welled up in her eyes. Clearly, this whole thing with Stark was something she had pushed down instead of really processing what happened. She had just continued with her life. Morningside had it worse as they suffered from a fire, then new allies came and she needed to be professional and welcoming. Now she was starting to tear up over a guy leaving her even though he wasn't even worth any tear from her! As tears started to flow it seemed that she wasn't able to stop them. Her heart started to ache as she opened up to the pain. It was the raw pain of being left behind once more, but most of all, the pure guilt towards her children and the broken promise that they would have a father. This was followed by self-loathing, disgusted by her own selfish side of her need to have another litter. A broken sob left her lips. She knew that this wasn't her fault but why couldn't she stop spiraling down to blaming herself?
And being the empathic female she was, now she felt bad for Greyback. She knew that the male was sensitive, always trying to please others. Now he must feel guilty for making her upset. She battered her wet hazel green eyes at him. "I'm sorry," she whispered, ears flopped to the side. Valette was kind of apologizing with the assumption that she made him feel bad. She cleared her throat. Her eyes then fell on those soft mane she felt upon her return from Morningside. The female didn't realize she looked at them longingly. She kind of wanted to push her face into them, hide from the world, and just cry over all the feelings she was feeling.
She quickly found her confidence again. They were opening up to one another so her offer was not one that was out of place. It was the same case with the whole Stark topic. It warmed her heart that they both wanted to be there for one another. Valette had experienced before how nice it was to open up to someone about your feelings. It was with Greyback as well, when they talked about past mates and losing a beloved one. "There isn't much to talk about it, really," she spoke, her brow a bit more into a frown. "It does a lot to your self-confidence having a partner abandon you,' she sighed. Especially, after she tried to care for him for so many months during his illness and while also raising three children. "It is different than having your mate die, be taken from you. This was a choice. His choice to leave me. His choice to leave our children," she spoke, looking slightly angrier.
"The worst part is that it doesn't shock me anymore," she admitted. "I don't have a good track record with partners. I'm used to it." Saying it hurt, often she felt cursed, but she knew most of it wasn't her fault. "It isn't even with partners. Fathers, father figures, and a brother. Most male wolves in general." Valette stopped walking as the realization hit her. Her frown turned to embarrassment. Perhaps she opened up too much. There came the self-doubt, the insecurity. Now Greyback might think she was stupid. Just making the same mistake again to trust someone, to then get hurt once more in the end. Once again alone while raising children. But how she loved children. She dreamed of more litters with little balls of fluff she could fuss over.
"You must think of me as foolish," she whispered, looking more insecure. Suddenly tears welled up in her eyes. Clearly, this whole thing with Stark was something she had pushed down instead of really processing what happened. She had just continued with her life. Morningside had it worse as they suffered from a fire, then new allies came and she needed to be professional and welcoming. Now she was starting to tear up over a guy leaving her even though he wasn't even worth any tear from her! As tears started to flow it seemed that she wasn't able to stop them. Her heart started to ache as she opened up to the pain. It was the raw pain of being left behind once more, but most of all, the pure guilt towards her children and the broken promise that they would have a father. This was followed by self-loathing, disgusted by her own selfish side of her need to have another litter. A broken sob left her lips. She knew that this wasn't her fault but why couldn't she stop spiraling down to blaming herself?
And being the empathic female she was, now she felt bad for Greyback. She knew that the male was sensitive, always trying to please others. Now he must feel guilty for making her upset. She battered her wet hazel green eyes at him. "I'm sorry," she whispered, ears flopped to the side. Valette was kind of apologizing with the assumption that she made him feel bad. She cleared her throat. Her eyes then fell on those soft mane she felt upon her return from Morningside. The female didn't realize she looked at them longingly. She kind of wanted to push her face into them, hide from the world, and just cry over all the feelings she was feeling.
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Messages In This Thread
You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - October 22, 2018, 07:16 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by Greyback - October 22, 2018, 10:33 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - October 22, 2018, 11:16 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by Greyback - October 22, 2018, 11:55 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - October 23, 2018, 03:03 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by Greyback - October 26, 2018, 12:36 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - October 26, 2018, 08:20 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by Greyback - October 28, 2018, 06:21 PM
RE: You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - October 29, 2018, 09:31 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by Greyback - October 29, 2018, 06:39 PM
RE: You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - October 30, 2018, 03:46 PM
RE: You requested a walk - by Greyback - November 01, 2018, 05:42 PM
RE: You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - November 01, 2018, 06:37 PM
RE: You requested a walk - by Greyback - November 09, 2018, 12:57 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - November 11, 2018, 08:31 AM
RE: You requested a walk - by Greyback - November 15, 2018, 04:18 PM
RE: You requested a walk - by RIP Valette - November 19, 2018, 06:06 AM