Swiftcurrent Creek but before you shoot please warn us

that look in her sibling's eyes as she drew back sharply as if having been physically struck by polaris was something the silver girl would possibly never forget. and with it the strange feeling to come over her because for a moment and yes it was the briefest of moments but it still existed- there was satisfaction. some deep part of her was proud of her success in drawing out such an awful reaction but it flashed through her so briefly one could argue that it had ever really been there before guilt came crashing down like a monstrous tidal wave. she knew though and that was enough, it would bother her for a long time yet.

ears pin back against her head in distress but she doesn't know what to do so simply remains rooted to her spot- wide gaze anxiously watching lainie's movements but unable to even attempt to fix what she's done. what can she really say? sure the anger had been perhaps a bit much and she hadn't really meant to hurt the other so much (right?) but that didn't stop what she said being true. she was unhappy to know she was the only one left in the dark about what happened and she still believes wholly that that's an understandable reaction. still....that fear in lainie's eyes is like nothing she's ever witnessed before and it haunts the pup even when she has to hastily glance away to escape it. 

however once the darker pup begins to speak she peeps back, oddly relieved that lainie's not looking back at her- frankly scared to see that look again. the words though...she felt like she was far away and hearing them from a great distance because- w-what???? 

killed?
killed?
KILLED???

her body drops low to the ground in a crouch, head swimming and for a moment she fears she'll topple over but it doesn't happen. she doesn't truly understand the word- what does it mean?? but finds herself unable to voice the question, scared to hear lainie go through more to explain it and fearful of the answer. she does know it's bad though, very, very bad. because their food, adults kill food right? and that in itself distresses her even more than it seems to with the other pups, she refuses to engage in any hunts that others seem so excited about. only eating what's already....dead?killed? ??????/?? 

but maman's pups...not food and zephyr....killed? she feels sick.

she's distantly aware that lainie has drawn away and some part of her screams within to go to her, comfort her, show her she's still there and she's not angry at her for holding that back. she seen it after all....but she doesn't, she can't. her brain swims and everything feels like it's falling apart around her and for now all she can bear to do is press herself against the ground and squeeze little eyes shut as if she could block out the whole world and pretend nothing existed.