Swiftcurrent Creek but before you shoot please warn us

last from me! will i start another thread set 2-3 days after where they go exploring?

she knows lainie's only trying to help reassure her, maybe even reassure herself with the words she speaks but polaris cringes away from them even further. something about hearing her try to make sense of it makes it seem realer and polaris is far from even accepting the fact that it's happened let alone trying to justify it. it gets worse though because suddenly her sister is pleading with her and the urge to scream bubbles up quite suddenly; to yell that she doesn't hate lainie, she LOVEs her endlessly, even more now that she went through that to offer her the truth. but she also wants to beg her to be quiet, please, please, pleaseeeee just shh for a minute because she cannot think and her head is spinning and it's all a bit much right now. so she says nothing, simply lowering her head so that it rests atop her paws. the blades of grass tickle at the sensitive skin of her nose but she doesn't even seem to notice as eyes remain scrunched closed. 

breathe 

that's what she had to focus on. nothing else, not zephyr or dead or prey or lainie. just breathe. 

in
out
in
out
inhale...1,2,3
and exhale...1,2,3

slowly she felt herself begin to calm- the words used by parents and always ignored after bad dreams or anxious bouts for once seeming to have a real effect. usually she wouldn't even think to try it, kind of always suspecting it was just a silly method used on babies but with nothing else to focus on she could learn now that it actually worked. her heart beat slowed and quick, panicked breaths regained some normality. it all sounded rather dramatic but in reality the side effects of all this crashing down on her felt oddly similar to if she'd just thrown a tiring tantrum. blinking blearily, she peers up at her sister.

guilt hit her with the force of a boulder at her distraught expression, she was no better than her brothers if she put lainie through that too. yet still...she doesn't know what to even begin to the dark furred pup. all she wants to do is tell her she's wrong, she's either lying or seen it wrong but the look in her eyes as she spoke those terrible words could never have been put on. but she can't face such a truth, not yet and so there's nothing she can say. 

what even was the last thing said? oh yea, looking for them. swallowing uncomfortably, she pushes her small body up from its crouch; looking extremely bedraggled but not noticing in the slightest. "i..yea, m-maybe" is all she manages to mumble out, still unable to meet the others gaze for fear of the hurt she knew she'd have to witness. "i uh, gotta go - maybe later" all she does is nod as she backs up, gaze remaining downcast as she turns hastily on a paw and sprints away. guilt roars in her ears as her heart begs her to go back and stop being so horrible but she just can't face it yet and so with fresh tears stinging the corners of her eyes she simply runs.