The Bracken Woods 'cause even here we're scared to bruise

Mature Content Warning

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: suicidal ideation

When he's certain Delight's son is safely within the borders, he heads for the woods again — he won't go far, he tells himself, but he needs to be alone right now. He can't stand the thought of facing any of his packmates, sick as they all are. His own little crisis can be contained, at least, while there are larger problems to worry about.
It takes him awhile to convince himself he's really alone; is he ever alone enough to have a break down without someone noticing? But the sun starts to set after a time, and as it gets darker the full weight of it hits him. Zamael is gone, and it's my fault.
Maybe he could handle Zamael's absence alone — he'd been ready to, when he'd disappeared. It's different this time. This time, he knows for sure it's his own fault; he can't dismiss it as maybe some people will always leave. He's driven his brother away because he can never handle anything like an adult — and he hadn't necessarily been trying to die when he'd eaten all those poppy seeds, but now he thinks it would have been better if he had. Now he thinks, a little hysterically, there's no Zamael to cry, there's no cat to sit on my head, there's no Delight or Eris or Lily or Korei —
And maybe it would be easier for all of them if he just disappeared. Maybe he's not as needed as he's managed to convince himself — maybe the only thing anyone needs him to do is leave. All he brings is destruction.