Noctisardor Bypass the place from where i fell

After her return from Larksong Grotto, a great many things weighed heavily on Laurel's shoulders. She thought of Indra more. Now that she was settled somewhat in Rivenwood, she had more time to consider her feelings, and it was like a rush of a river that came flooding back to her all at once. A dam was opened, and it seemed impossible to close it off again and simply go back to survival.

Oh, Indy, she thought to herself as she sat by the side of the Birdsong Lagoon, as she had so named the lake in the Bypass with Mahler. No birds were there now, and she stared into the water. All she saw was the ugly mirroring of her own face, distorted. So often had she sat this way by the side of the water in the Grotto, thinking that something was wrong with her because her father did not love her like he loved Tapat and Astik. So many times had she hit the water and screamed at herself for being so ugly.

Now no such fiery anger was left; that fire was quenched by Iliksis. Don't worry, dearest, you may be ugly, but you are beautiful in your own way. The way he said it made a shiver run down her spine. Laurel stared into the water, at her distorted face, and she wondered what others saw when they looked at her. Did they see a frightened, wounded bird? Did she play her part well enough? Or did they just see an ugly shell of a wolf, once beautiful, now like a bird with her wings ripped from her?

Laurel's body shook gently upon contained sobs as she looked into the water and thought of Indy. She wanted her back so badly. She needed her back. Merrick had made sure that would never happen, and now, rather than thinking of her reincarnation, Laurel thought of all the things she could do to make him suffer.

Thade limped slowly towards the nearest large body of water in search of a cool bath. Mahler was verifiably within Rivenwood bounds and this put him at ease somewhat, enough so that he found it high time to engage in something more relaxing than lying in wait.

He would always fret whenever his father was away, and the Graf was quite a busy wolf — someone who often left but always returned. Not that this fact did much of anything to ease his own emotions. Because in reality, the yearling could not handle the waiting. He had found of himself that staying put or trying to distract himself while his loved ones were away was simply not comfortable for him. He would rather abscond into the wilderness, pretending as if he were doing anyone any good by getting himself repeatedly lost in hapless attempts to settle his anxious heart. Possibly the only thing that had kept Thade in the Bypass so far was his hairline-fractured ankle.

It was hard for him to understand why the wolves he loved would not simply stay where they belonged. Idly, he supposed that Phaedra had been ever-present, even when their parents were not, but he could not bring himself to approach his own sister as openly as he wanted to. He feared that the absence between them, as well as his squandered searches for their mother, had hardened her heart to him, leaving the badger a little more than fearful of finding out the truth.

At least this way, he could pretend their relationship was something else.

When he heard someone stifling their sobs up ahead, he imagined that it was Phaedra. His pace quickened, and his alarmed stride was briefly absent of a hitch, but he stopped short when he realized that it was not his sister crying at the lagoon. Thade looked away from the she-wolf quickly, as if he had just caught her in a state of undress, and favored his bruised foreleg once more as he hesitated to leave.

I-I’m very sorry, miss, he stammered out. I thought you were my sister. Gulping, he chanced to peek at her out of the corner of his evergreen eye. He did not recognize her, but she smelled like a packmate, and he knew he would feel guilty if he did not at least ask: a-are you okay? …well, I mean, obviously you’re… er, sorry I’m being dumb. What I mean to ask is, can I help?

thank you for joining <3 & ty so much for the kudos!

A quivering voice approached, and it caused Laurel to turn her head. She looked away again quickly, trying to hide her emotional state even though it was of no use. He was a man, but he was a young one. Presumably Mahler's son, she presumed, thinking back to her talk with Sequoia. He did not seem to have the suave eloquence that Mahler did, but perhaps it was because of the place that she had put him in.

Laurel listened to his stammered apologies, thoughts of how he thought it was his sister — Laurel thought back to the visit to the Grotto with Mahler, how he mentioned a trip there with his daughter — and eventually he got to the gist of it and offered help.

Considering his youth and his lack of confidence in the situation Laurel did not immediately feel intimidated by him as she would normally in the presence of a man. Feeling emotional and helpless, Laurel angrily said, You could kill Merrick. As she said his name — as she spat out his name — Laurel felt another sob heave her body. She didn't mean it, of course — well, not for this boy to run off and attempt such a thing, anyway — but oh, how she wished that someone would do that for her. How she wished she could do it herself.

Do you now, dearest? she heard Iliksis' poisonous voice whisper inside her mind, Does it give you peace? Will it give you what you want, you think? Did it give you what you wanted when you killed me? She shuddered, because she knew the truth. It pleases me to know that. She resisted the urge to shout back at Iliksis, knowing that he wasn't really there, knowing that he wasn't real, and sniffled as she looked back at the water, at her own ugly reflection, to avoid looking at the awkward boy and his attempts to console her.

The name she spat in his direction, the vitriol behind her ask, made Thade take an involuntary step back. More stammering might have fallen from his mouth if he had any words at all for what she had said, but he was stricken into open-mouthed silence, which quickly turned to crestfallen posturing as he realized he could do absolutely nothing to appease this she-wolf. Inwardly, he was reminded of his mother, making it all the more painful that he felt he could not meet her needs.

I, well, I kinda just lost the last fight I had, he confessed, shifting his weight slightly on his tender leg. So.. don't think I'll be much help there. He came no closer, but felt compelled to stay, despite her uninviting mood and less-than-simple request. What about my Papa? Won't he kill this wolf for you? That's what leaders did for their subordinates right? He knew in his heart that Mahler would have torn his kidnapper apart if given the chance. Is this not what her enemy deserved?

He was nothing more than a child, that much was clear to her when he responded. His physical response made her feel safe — distance — but his words made it clear that he wouldn't be much use. How convenient it would've been if this would have been a young, strong warrior who would rally the wolves of Rivenwood to fight on her behalf right now.

Instead he mentioned his father. Mahler. Laurel thought to her outburst by his side and she wondered if he would do it for her. Wondered just how deep his love for Rivenwood's wolves ran.

It was hard for Laurel to think straight. She hadn't meant for the boy to go off and kill Merrick. But now that he did respond to it seriously... What if? What if they did? What if they... Would it be possible? Would a group of wolves truly follow her like that, anyway? Laurel thought back to Bearclaw Valley — the real Bearclaw Valley, when she, Xan and Indra ran it — and how it had fallen to ruin under her leadership. Wolves had followed her then... But would they again in a pursuit that had nothing to do with them?

Maybe if Mahler rallied them, they would.

Laurel sniffled and was silent for a few seconds while she processed this all. Then she said, a quiet tone to her voice: Do you really think he'd do that for me? Laurel blinked her tears away and looked at the boy in earnest then.