Stone Circle fjölskyldu

muse gets wild when sick apparently :< wanted to get this up before I lost it

she knew she could not dance around @Gunnar any longer.

the longer she went without directly facing him, the worst things would become. she did not intend to upset him or make him worry. she just...could not bring herself to be here.

a home that withered on bodies and that her own family seemed unable to stay to.

that even she now struggled to stay to.

father, her voice was careful and soft when she spoke to him now.

Mine does too. I think it's cause when you're sick you can't do much anyway, but think and stir and type. :D <3 Feel better though.

Gunnar had fretted quietly at his dottr's movements, and words. And he hated to admit it had cut him a little deeply to have her show her displeasure with him, even if it wasn't actually directed at him. It still hurt. However, he had given her the space she had wanted, had stayed away from her. His body not as stiff as Spring had arrived for them finally.

It was with surprise and a new wave of both guilt and grief that bombarded him when he heard her voice. He closed his eyes tightly fearful of what she may say, but if Bjarn didn't wish to be here. He couldn't make her, and he shouldn't. He had to go find himself around the same age. He knew the signs, the visions of restlessness. He was old, but not a fool.

BUt he turned and met her with a small smile, albeit sad. Hello darling girl.

the sadness was not hidden.

she had infected with him and she saw it now. that she had failed her father who had stood there with her from the very first day he had become so. who had always been so strong for everybody.

she had placed a sadness within him.

now, she thought, she understood that day with reverie better somehow. how she stood on the other side of it now as she looked at gunnar. nothing more than a young girl. small and terrified.

horrified of herself.

i am sorry.

she felt she must say this first while she still had the vision and the strength to look in his face while she spoke.

Gunnar would never say his dottr had failed him. No, he was still so very proud of her even now, and he would get over it. he could get over it. He was old and had seen many come and go, but the simple fact was and he knew it. Were she to leave. He wasn't sure if he could keep Kvarsheim afloat or even if he would still be alive when she returned. He was an old man after all.

He moved forward with purpose and placed a paw on her shoulder. You needn't apologize to this old man about feelings, darling. There is nothing to apologize for. Your feelings and your wants are absolutely fine and perfect. Now.

Then he would wait patiently for her to explain waht she needed or wanted. And he would support whatever it was.

this old man.

she was faced with a shattering, wavering look at mortality again. some part of her foolishly wished to trade places. that he might be young and she might be aged.

it would fix nothing.

i want to...take a trip. to see things.

to understand better why everybody wished to wander at some point in their life.

Gunnar was not upset at his age. But he wanted others to know he wouldn't be forever. Perhaps a small part of him, hoped if they knew his age, his oldness that they would not hurt as bad when he was gone.

A soft smile he brushed her head. Then you should do this. I think you will like it.

His heart twisted painfully and sadly. Would he be here when she returned.

mother was —

she had meant to be shown where she was born. a valley. bjarna did not know if she would ever come to learn which valley, which place. was there a valley out there full of things that looked like her?

somehow she did not know if she was meant to see it now.

it does not matter. a soft shake of her head. but...thank you. for letting me.

He wished he could help her. But he had no idea what sanja had been wanting to shoe or not show her. And she hadn't told him either.

He smiled. Of course i will miss you. But may frigga and freya and odin guard your steps.

freya.

frigga.

odin.

she realized just how much more she had left to learn from him. all the things he had seen, had learned, had experienced. she had heard only just a fraction of it all.

she felt selfish suddenly.

will you teach me them? before i go.

she did not know when she would, where she'd cross. only that it would be coming. closer and closer.

He made a soft noise as he thought of the gods he had grown up with. So many of them, but those three, his mother and father loved and Loki. His father had loved Loki.

Ah yes. Frigga wife of Odin, goddess of marriage, she raised his not born son Thor, and bore him three of his own. Balder, Hermod, and Tyr. God of light. God of Speed. God of war.

His old brow furrowed as he thought of the rest. Freya, is counterpart of Frigga. She is the same, but she is also in this form the goddess of love, fertility, battle and death. It is Freya you call to ride the Valkyries. Freya who blesses romance, but Frigga who blesses the marriage.

Then he smiled. [i]Odin is all father, husband of Frigga/Freya. He is god of war and death. He rules over Valhalla where all the warriors go.

a goddess of marriage and children. she wondered why such a thing would watch over her or guide her. she was...she knew nobody in that way. an inkling of teenage self doubt that said she would never.

once more a goddess of romantic things — but at least she too had death and battle. maybe a more understanding hand to watch over her.

bjarna was silent, stoic. listened with the studied gaze of a strong pupil.

odin made sense too, for a blessing in her travels.

you believe them all? surely he must! still she asked softly. a girl once more. they guide you every day?

He chose the goddess of marriage and children, because Bjarna was very much his daughter. Even if she hadn't come from his loins. She was his. And sharp tooth upon anyone who said different. he would make them rue the day.

He nodded softly. There are many more. There are gods and goddess of travel and of the sea, there are some of forests and the sky of air. Those three are the ones my father taught me. He believed fully in the allfather, and my mother whom I loved dearly. Believed in Frigga and Freya with everything she had.

He didn't know what would await Bjarna. It was frightening that she would leave him. But he was also so immensely proud of her. She would make her own way. She would be amazing and he was certain of this. She just needed to find her way.

the sea.

maybe she should go find it. instead of some valley that might only hold herself, she could instead see something new. something of gunnar.

her father.

who is the one of the sea and travel? she asked softly as she lowered herself down to the earth, hoping he might do the same. their conversation had turned and yet all of this felt just as important to discuss and learn while she could.

He settled to his haunches and a slow smile lit up his face. Oh yes that is Meili the lovely one. he was god of travel. Brother of Thor son of Odin. Meili is a secretive god. He watches over you from the shadows and does not show himself as other's do at times. At least that what father would say. I've never seen them. Though I have seen many ravens that watched me like Odin would have.

he tilted his head in thought. Who had been the god of the sea. It had been so long. He almost couldn't remember. [i]Njord father of Freya is the god of the sea and the wind and the riches there that lie in. You may also pray to him when hunting. he gives wealth and prosperity to those deserving or that he finds deserving.

how do you pray to them?

the concept entirely foreign to her! she wondered if gunnar frequently did, if she had mistook any praying for something else. how would she have known?

this was her first proper foray into religion.

i wish to know how so i can too. when i travel.

to remember him always and hold him close even far away.

Gunnar had to think of it. I mostly just talk to them. Lay my problems at their feet, but I sacrifice small animals or herbs to them every now adn again. Just kill something in their name and let it lay. I try not to do that often, due to food, but I do. My father used to have grand feasts and sacrifices in their name, but I am not that devout I suppose.

He smiled at her then a gentle fond fatherly smile. You will do well to travel. I do not regret the time I Spent as a lone wolf, only that i spent to long as one.

fade and something new? <33

sacrifice.

she did not understand, not fully. yet it felt like something she must learn. not a thing to be taught but rather a thing to experience. to feel.

lone wolf, he said.

she smiled wryly and shifted along the ground to reach for him.

i will never be alone.

and she sought to make this so, in the way she would carry his beliefs and stories with her everywhere.

Of course. Thank you for the thread <3

Gunnar didn't know how to explain it all to her. It was something that you had to see to understand, really. It had been that way for him at least.

He lay his head along her shoulder, giving her a wolfish hug. He would miss her so much. But he hoped to that he would be here upon her return. That winter wouldn't take him.

Never. He agreed.