Moonspear [m] listening to fear

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Restlessness kept Sialuk from sleep. At first, she attributed the change to worrying over both Argent's extended absence and Acrux's fresh wounds. But as the hours passed, the realization came to her. Nature rarely planned for convenience. It was Argent she wished for, and yet he was not here. He was doing his duty to fulfill the bride price so that they could be wed.

She slipped from the ulaq that was her home into the chilly darkness of the witching hour. The moon was full and ripe, just as the Ostrega herself. Instinct and nature thrummed in her, and she let herself be guided wherever (or to whomever) the spirits might take her this evening.

When he woke to that scent—familiar, by now—Talisman felt like he was in another fever dream. Perhaps he was. He slunk from the healing ulaq and drifted around the mountainside in a sort of daze. His nose led him through the misty moonbeams until he spotted her: a pale, striking vision.

Her gravity tugged him toward her, though his spirit suddenly shied away. This felt almost like a dream. But what if it turned out to be a nightmare? What if she spurned him, just like the women of The Tribe? His pale eyes were wide and guileless as he beheld her, begging silently for acceptance he likely didn’t deserve.

It was not who she expected to find her, but the spirits worked in mysterious ways that Sialuk did not question. It was the small man, the coyote, who came upon her with eyes wide and wanting. Sialuk lashed her tail and bowed low, whining, inviting him to play. It was a ritual not new to her, and one she knew quite well. Something far in the back of her mind warned her of his injury, to be gentle, but it was he who would lead this dance to its conclusion, so she need not worry.

She didn’t rebuff him. He must be dreaming, Talisman thought. He floated toward her, hope ballooning in his small chest at the sight of her bowing playfully. His own tail stirred, wagging against his hind legs. Talis hesitated only a moment before dipping downward himself.

It hurt his back a little, which made him realize this maybe wasn’t a dream. And yet, the moment remained dreamlike. Talisman gazed at her, admiring her face from up close, memorizing her features. She smelled indescribable, which made his belly dip and swoop.

Tentatively, he nipped toward the whiskers growing from her pale chin. He hadn’t forgotten that she was his superior. If she wanted him—a thought which made his heart leap a little—Talisman would gladly give her all the attention she desired.

And speaking of dreams, maybe his would come true: perhaps tonight, he would finally father children.

He accepted her invitation, and Sialuk smiled as he drew near, nipping at her chin in the way many had before him. Sialuk did not give thought to the fact any children sired by him might be different in size compared to the others. Very little crossed her mind during this time except the instinctual need to be close with others—particularly those of the opposite sex. Talisman did not seem too injured to participate, and so Sialuk let nature take its course.

. . .

Breathing heavily in the afterglow, she reclined prone on the cool ground, eyes watching the man who had warmed her for a time. The past year, she had called others to her ulaq, but this year, she thought she might seek out others elsewhere. Outside of Argent and Talisman, she did not know of other interested parties. Alaric came to mind, but after hearing his story, Sialuk did not wish to wind herself into his hurt heart.

The woman—Kusuma—will she have a darkened heart if she learns of this? Sialuk asked.

It was only the second time he’d taken a woman, though Inji had been a good teacher and instincts took care of the rest. Talisman just hoped Sialuk enjoyed it as much as he did, their brief coupling even more ethereal than the moments preceding it.

But while she enjoyed the afterglow, Talis experienced what could only be called post-nut clarity. He’d just mated with a woman he hardly knew, the leader of his new pack. She had been willing, which was reassuring, but he had so many questions he wanted to ask.

She beat him to it. Talisman blinked. He didn’t think she was necessarily interested in him romantically but, until yesterday, he hadn’t realized Kusuma cared about him at all. He realized he still had trouble believing any woman associated with The Tribe wanted anything to do with him.

I don’t know. I don’t think so. We’re not a thing or anything, he said to Sialuk. Then it was his turn, so he asked, What about you? What are you… um, I mean, what happens now?

Sialuk laughed gently, though careful to not laugh at him. She remembered well a time when she had warmed the beds of men she had scarcely made words with. I do not hold you anything you do not wish. As the year prior, Sialuk would not bare teeth to men who came to her and wished to be involved (or not) in the lives of her children. She knew well that her partners would care for those who came from her body, just as she would care for those that came from Elentari.

Is it your wish to be father? Partner? she asked, curious. A question that would have come sooner, had she the time to know him before today.

Talisman didn’t know how to feel about her lighthearted statement, in part because he wasn’t entirely certain what he did or didn’t wish. Well, there was one thing he knew for certain:

Yes, he replied emphatically, then hastily added, I mean, the thing I want most in the world is to be a dad. As for a partner, um… How could he say this tactfully but truthfully? I’m trying to be more open-minded about it but I’m not sure I’m cut out for commitment. I mean, I’d think about it but I wouldn’t want to rush into anything…

He swallowed, ears drawing backward. He couldn’t possibly guess how Sialuk would take this information. He had no idea what she wished for, either.

It is likely you will get your wish, Sialuk said with a coy smile. I have had many lovers, she added, wanting to be as open with him as he had been with her. One is a wife, another is working toward becoming husband to me. Many have drifted away. She thought of Keen, Glaukos, and Ittuk. All three had gone away. Some with word of where they were going, others without so much as a goodbye. Sialuk knew these things happened, but they did not always hurt less.

I will go east until my time is over, she said after a pause. When the babes are born, they will be as much yours as mine.

He hung on her every word, eager to learn about Sialuk and her attitude toward these matters. Talis’s lips parted when she mentioned having a wife and a husband-to-be. He wondered if they would be angry with him for sleeping with her, though the head didn’t seem concerned, so he would take his cues from her on that.

Besides, he was much more invested in some of the other things she had to say. He would likely get his wish, Sialuk insisted, then she told him any pups she bore would belong to him. Of course, in the back of his mind he noted that they would also belong to others, but…

Wait. I’m going to be a dad? Talisman repeated, pale eyes gleaming in the moonlight. He sprang to his feet, crying out, I’m gonna be a dad! loudly enough that it echoed off the mountainside.

Sialuk laughed at his joy, happy that he was happy. Even if he did not become a partner to her, she looked forward to having another role model for her children. It truly took a village to raise children, she had found, and she was so very glad she needn't do it alone. With Talisman's enthusiasm, there was no doubt he would make a fine father for the village.

Perhaps a father to more than only mine, she said with an elusive smile. Kusuma was likely to have her time soon, and she did not think the small creature was likely to trust a wolf as a lover.

Sialuk laughed. He looked over at her, grinning sheepishly. He couldn’t believe how much his fortune had turned since leaving The Tribe and literally stumbling across Moonspear. He owed it all to Alaric, though he felt indebted to Sialuk now too.

Maybe, he said, tail waving.

He would be lying if he said he wouldn’t want to sire as many pups as possible, with any woman willing to accept him. Talisman could already picture them. If any came out wearing his colors, they would look positively cherubic. Perhaps it was narcissistic to think so, yet his dad had always touted his superior genes and unique coloring.

If there’s anything I can do to support you, just let me know. Okay? Anything. I’ll wait on you hand and foot, if you want, Talis told her earnestly.

Talisman was an eager man, and Sialuk, while slightly bewildered, did not mind the question of how he might make himself useful to her. She hummed in thought for a moment, then widened her eyes with an idea. Make yourself known to my son, Acrux, and my daughter, Maggak. They will not know you as father, but you must become warm with them to be father to their sibilngs. There was Elentari and Argent as well, but Sialuk supposed one task at a time would be more than enough.

She rose from where she lay, stretching front to back and curving her spine before shaking out her silvery white coat.

When I return, I will greet you. Now it was time to depart and satisfy her fever's need.

Being given a task scratched an itch deep inside Talisman, nearly as fulfilling as the idea of becoming a father. His smile softened and he bowed his head in acknowledgment of Sialuk’s words.

As you wish, he said simply. And at the risk of sounding cheesy, he added, I already look forward to your return, Sialuk. Have fun out there.

He laughed a little at that, not sure what the correct sentiment was in this situation. Perhaps he ought to feel jealous of her other forays—and he supposed he was a little sad he wasn’t enough—but then, neither was her own fiancé, so Talis wouldn’t take it personally.

The coyote slipped a respectful nudge to her chin, then stepped back to watch her disembark. After she was gone, he supposed he should get back to the healing ulaq. But for a while, Talisman would wander the moonlit mountainside, too giddy about the future to sleep.