Whitefish River Now I know I'm falling in deep

for @Reiko
the babies are welcome too ofc
set for late morning 5/26

Emrik had been correct in his assumption the she would not be happy to hear that Reiko had traveled here so close to her presumed due date. She had been very worried about the former Kaisteloki member, and that worry had only intensified with the unexpected and early birth of the snowy woman's children. 

Lately, it was harder for her to get up as early as was normal for the busy healer; she was getting fairly round and whatever energy she started the day with didn't last very long, even with the daily naps. She tried to rest as much as she could, but things were busy for her right now. Ira would be having her children any day now. Her own were do soon, as well as Moonshadow's and she had a lot to do before she was out of commission. So she had started the day later than usual but had headed to Reiko, bearing plants, as soon as she was able. 

She paused outside the den, dropping her mouthful at her feet. Reiko? she gently called out. Can I come in? She very much wanted to make sure everyone was okay. She wondered if mom had eaten yet this morning and how the children were doing. But she didn't want to overstep, so she waited for permission outside despite how badly she wanted to rush inside and tend to things.

She had been sleeping - something the pale woman had been doing a lot of lately, especially since the little ones had arrived suddenly. She tried to keep to herself, not to bother anyone in the already busy Kaistleoki with her impromptu birthing event on their lands, but she was thankful for the silence. The peace that was found here. Right now she was able to relax in the company of her first litter. Hopefully they would all forgive her eventually.

Slowly she turned to greet Speedy requesting to come in. Of course you may. She said softly, even if she smiled she was nervous of the possible scolding that may follow. With ears folded back and an apologetic look, she humbled herself in the presence of the lovely Speedy who had come to check up on her even during her own heavy pregnancy. I'm sorry. It had to be said. There was no denying it. I know I shouldn't have come, but I needed the silence... I didn't think it would come to this. I should have.

Tagging the puppers to know they can hop in at any time if they want to! <3 @Haruki, @Hotaru and @Sumi

The small white blob had finally found rest during the night. Since her birth it had been the endless cycle of eating sleeping and crying, but what else was there to do? She wasn't even aware of what the world had in store for her yet. By the time morning had rolled around Hotaru had already shifted, a pain in her stomach telling her to find the one thing that could quell almost any complaint she had. Unaware of the incoming company, the little girl would wiggle, nosing her mother until she found what she was looking for and latched on to feed.

She picked up the leaves and walked in the second she got the okay, setting them down near Reiko and looking lovingly over the three pups. She was met almost immediately with the other woman's apology, and Speedy quickly shook her head; she was upset about the whole thing, but she did not come her to scold her. She imagined she was already doing plenty of that to herself. Don't worry about that, she said softly. Your only worry needs to be about taking care of yourself and your three beautiful children, the healer said, a warm smile spreading across her face. 

Raspberry and Borage leaves, Speedy said, pointing to them with her nose. For you if you need them. Then she took a much needed seat. How are you? she asked, her expression shifting into a concerned frown. Have you eaten yet this morning? Speedy asked, quickly shifting into medic mode. She wanted to ask what had driven her from her home while so close to having her puppies, but she didn't want to bring up something that might be upsetting right now. This was traumatic enough, and Speedy just wanted to make her comfortable.

As always, Speedy was so kind and forgiving. Brushing off the Empress's mistake to focus on something more important in her eye. Thank you. Filled with honesty, Reiko didn't want to tell everyone why she had wandered away from the Empire to seek refuge. She didn't want to worry everyone on the state of the pack, she was even certain only a select few knew of their internal turmoil as well - and she wanted to keep it that way.

What do they do? Curiously she asked, not that she questioned Speedy's medical prowess, no not at all. She trusted Speedy's knowledge and simply wanted to learn more. What did these leaves do? I'm... Surprised, but at ease. I'm happy to see they all look healthy. Considering all the stress she has been feeling and Awenfen's advice to remain as stressfree as possible - she was worried about their health initially. 

Shaking her head 'no', Collision had gone with Hiromi to bring her back home before another surprise Kaistleoki birth happened. He had been diligent in offering food, but today, Reiko had to do it herself. After Collision left to take Hiromi home, I was supposed to gather food myself. She didn't hold it against either of the two, it wasn't their job to care for her after all.

I'm going to assume @Collision is away at this point to bring @Hiromi back home!

Speedy smiled, always happy to bestow healing knowledge on anyone who asked. The raspberry leaves are for any lingering pain and the borage leaves are for milk, she explained, pointing her nose to each pile as she described their purpose. As for the puppies, Speedy had to agree: Yes, they all look well. Her gaze drifted over each child as she spoke, lingering on the snowy girl as she fed. Then she looked back to Reiko. I'm glad you feel at ease here, she commented. You're all welcome to stay as long as you need, I'm sure, so please don't rush yourself; rest is important right now. It was Ira's official call to make, but the healer had a feeling she would say the same thing. 

And when she heard that she had no one to bring her food, Speedy immediately got to her feet. Let me go get you something; there's a cache nearby. I'll be right back. Then she turned and hurried away, ignoring any protest if offered. She would not have the new mother getting food for herself, it was just not going to happen. As promised, she returned within minutes, a freshly-killed rabbit held between her jaws. She set it down near Reiko and then took a seat once more. You don't need to get your own food. I'll have @Emrik bring you food while you're here; I know he won't mind. That's just how he was. She was sure she wouldn't even have to ask; she would just mention Reiko needing help with meals, and he would be on it—one of the many reasons she loved him. 

Is there anything else you need while you're here? she asked. I'd be happy to make sure you got it. She may lead their sister pack now, but she was Kaistleoki's first. And as this was clearly not her intended place to have her children, Speedy wanted to make sure she was as comfortable as possible.

Speedy was so knowledgeable, it was lovely to see her still so full of enthusiasm and growing well into her role as Kaistleoki's head healer. Thank you. With a couple of happy thuds of her tail against the ground, she would remember these just as she did with Awenfen's own advice. It was reassuring that Speedy also thought they seemed healthy, one of her biggest fears during her first pregnancy was something going wrong - especially with all the stress going on at home. 

Oh! Wait! And like that Speedy was already gone in a flash, not letting the tired Empress express her objections on the heavily pregnant Speedy running around on her behalf when she still had children of her own to care for. The thought weighed on the pale woman, what a burden she must be right now for even Speedy to be running around despite her own condition. The woman returned with a beautiful fresh rabbit, and sweetly Reiko smiled back. You need to rest too, your health matters as well Speedy. Please, take some of it for yourself too, I can't eat it all.

Shaking her head, there was no way she could ask more of the medic after all this. You are too kind, but I am okay now thank you. Please rest now. Pushing the matter of the still expecting mother to take a moment to breathe and rest herself. How are your previous children doing? They must be all adults now? Enough about her, she wanted to know more about Speedy and her young. Last she knew of them, they were all still little, barely out of the den.

She shook her head at the thanks when offered. It's no problem at all, she assured Reiko. She was happy to help the new mother. It had to be somewhat lonely and stressful to have your children in another pack's territory; hopefully Speedy could provide her some comfort and routine while she was here. 

She shook her head again, this time with a frown crinkling her forehead. She was not going to take food from Reiko. No, no, whatever you don't eat, just save for later; you'll be hungry again soon, she answered. I ate just before I came, she explained. Emrik made sure of it. And I have been resting as much as possible, but it's my job to take care of you while you're here, and that's what I'm going to do, she told Reiko, her voice gentle but firm. 

Again she pushed Speedy to rest, and she offered a warm smile in response. She really did appreciate the other mother's concern. Alright, well I'll rest here with you for a bit, she offered. That way she wouldn't be alone. Reiko's question made the healer smile. Yes, they're almost a year old; they've already moved to the adult ranks and are working on learning trades. A proud smile curved her lips as she spoke of them. But her expression suddenly became sad. One of my sons, Castor, has been missing for a long time now, she told Reiko. I hope he is doing well wherever he is. But she didn't want to linger on the sad subject right now; it was nothing the Empress needed to worry herself with. The other three, though, are doing well. They aren't as happy about their new brothers and sisters as I'd hope they would be, but I'm hoping they come around once they're born.

And what about you? Aside from being a new mother, how have things been back home? It was her way of giving her an opening to talk about things if she wanted to.

With a nod she dropped the subject on sharing food with Speedy. This was her home after all and had more word here than Reiko did, being a leader of another pack did not mean her word was above everyone else in both packs, not at all and she would respect that.

The admission that one of the healer's children had gone missing was a pain Reiko could feel, was it because she was now a mother too and the thought of losing one of them was beyond comprehension? She couldn't imagine such a thing. That's awful. The words were hushed but still audible. I'm glad you are remaining positive on it, I hope he is too. With a gentle wave of her tail and a smile, she would remain just as positive as her companion was on the matter.

I'm sure they will too, they are only a year old, and still very young. That didn't mean the two-year-old Reiko was any wiser either, but within her two years, she was at least aware of one thing. Time had a funny way of affecting each individual and the way they perceived things. Still, she wondered. I wonder if mine will feel the same next year. it was almost amusing to think of, she'll remember this and think back to it should they show the same dislike in younger siblings.

The smile faded at Speedy's question. Uncertain of what to say, but she trusted the healer. Even if the news might be shared with Ira, at least Speedy would know the proper time than to thrust it upon the now probably very stressed Constable. If I'm to be honest— she paused, brows furrowing as she thought of the events. It's quite hectic. I'm not quite certain of what to do without causing more trouble. I was hoping some time away would clear my mind, but it seems mother nature had her own plans. How could she possibly focus and try to figure out how to fix the Empire with the sudden arrival of the young?

She nodded in appreciation for Reiko's condolences regarding her missing son. She wasn't so sure she was remaining positive as much as she had just accepted her fate at this point. She knew she was cursed to deal with the consequences of her actions in more ways than one, and this had to be related to all the bad karma she created wronging an entire pack the way she had. Still, none of that stopped her from hoping he would some day return, grown and with stories of whatever life he had been leading away from them. 

She smiled at Reiko's next words. Already planning more, huh? she asked playfully as she softly laughed. I don't blame you; they are amazing and the love you feel for them is like nothing else. She smiled, although her thoughts went to a darker place at the memory of how angry her own children were with over their new siblings. She pushed the negativity away, not wanting to put anything else on the other mother's shoulders. I would recommend being open with them before you are actually pregnant; it seems things might have gone more smoothly with mine this year had I done the same. she couldn't help but offer the advice even thought the memory of her conversation with the family hurt her heart. 

The other woman's answer had her eyebrows knitting together in concern. Hectic how? Speedy asked first. As for mother nature: she tended to do things on her own clock, and there wasn't much any of them could do about it. She looked over the three newborns and then focused her soft, concerned gaze back on the other mother. I'm here to talk if you want, she offered next, in case her first question made Reiko feel obligated to bring up things she'd rather not talk about.

I would love a big family. She blushed at the thought, the image was heartwarming. It filled her with joy to think that maybe if she was lucky, she and all her loved ones would have plenty of family members to grow up with. I had such a small family and grew up alone for most of it, I can't help but hope my children have something different! Hime was all she had left from their childhood, and even then they were only trying to become a family again now after over a year and a half of being apart. Plenty of younger and older siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, all of it!

With a nod, I'll remember that, thank you for the advice. Unfortunately Speedy had to learn the hard way, but maybe the Izukas will have a better time in the future accepting any newer siblings. Did they tell you why they aren't fond of the idea? Out of curiosity, she asked. Maybe if the women understood the way the children thought, next time they could put themselves in their shoes and see how things could go more smoothly. 

Oh, how she wanted to talk. It was always so difficult to just open up on personal matters. Maybe that was why she found herself in this predicament too. I don't love my husband. Slowly the words trickled out. He doesn't love me either. I'm honoring my parents, but I'm not certain what he is doing. I keep trying to keep the peace but it never seems to be working, I can feel the tension among certain members. I don't know what to do without someone getting hurt.

I would love one too, she agreed with a smile. She loved having children and planned on having many more despite the trouble it caused this year. She was still very much haunted by her daughters' disapproval, but she hoped they would come around. Plus she could use this as how not to do things next year. 

The healer sighed at Reiko's question, shaking her head. It was a big fight, and from what I can tell, they're upset with me for not letting them know of our plans before hand. I think they are also afraid that my new children will replace them somehow, no matter how much I have tried to convince them otherwise. She sighed again. I'm hoping they'll come around eventually, but sometimes, I worry they will leave. Acheron had already left. He assured her that it had nothing to do with her, but she kind of felt like she was partially to blame. 

Reiko's problems came spilling out in a rush, making the healer move forward so that she could nose her cheek gently. It seemed she had quite a lot going on, and Speedy wondered if she had anyone back home to talk to about it. Why do you think someone will get hurt? she asked first. One issue at a time, starting with the most concerning. She would get to the not loving her husband thing in a moment.

I see. It would make sense, a child to fear for their parents replacing them with the newer, younger model and not loving them anymore. That was reasonable, she supposed having lost them after being her parent's only litter before passing would make such a thought something she never feared, instead, she lost them entirely instead of just their affections. Now she wondered... was it any different?

I assume they all eventually want to see the world beyond a pack's borders. We can only hope they will come back one day. No matter the day, it must always feel too soon for them to leave and see the world as it is. It is also such a big and scary one out there too, vicious individuals, those who care very little for others. Perhaps that is what Reiko feared the most now, to have them all experience the same, if not worse pain than she had recently. Safe and sound of course. After the whole thought process, she simply had to add that last bit on.

Speedy was comforting, as usual, her calm presence made it easy to spill the beans as they say and open up just enough to speak of the turmoil back home. He already has. At least to herself so far, it wouldn't be until next week that the woman would learn of all the other things and witness his violence as others would to another than just herself. If I oppose him. I'm afraid he would do the same to others. I had to leave for some peace without his presence lurking around every corner.

Speedy knew she couldn't expect them to stay with her forever. But was that really too much to ask? Seriously, though, she understood the need to wander; she had done the same thing at their age. Speedy had left her family and come here where she knew no one, so she couldn't exactly expect any different from her children, although she hoped they stayed closer than she had. She nodded. Yes, safe and sound. she couldn't bear to lose anymore children. 

The healer's face wrinkled in concern at Reiko's first answer that he already had hurt someone. He sounds like someone who shouldn't be helping lead your pack, she said first. Does the rest of the pack know that he is like this? How could they just stand by and blindly follow someone who would hurt them for defying him. Is there anyone that can help you if you do oppose him? she asked. 

And her last words had the healer settle down near the other woman, as best as she could with her bulging sides, so that she could offer her comfort with her presence. I'll make sure you get all the peace and quiet that need while you're here, she said gently, hoping to at least give her some temporary relief from everything.

Last post from me <3

No, he isn't. She knew that she had always known that. It seemed everyone wanted her to work a miracle by getting rid of him, and yet, never seemed to understand how she tried and failed. Every time. How tired she was of being told what was the right thing, but never being offered ideas on how to do so without causing more trouble within the pack than there already was. Not yet, I'm trying not to cause panic or civil war. Because who knew who else Hime had taken to her side with Takeshi should her hunch of them working together be true. 

Thank you Speedy, for everything. She had appreciated talking to someone who actually listened, someone to know instead of judging. It felt refreshing, even if it was just for a moment.