Swiftcurrent Creek it's gonna turn your knuckles blue

@Zephyr !
all other tags for reference.
backdated the night before this

darkness shrouds everything in its steel grasp; even the sky is nothing but a blanket of pure inky black as heavy clouds cover any light source they may have been granted otherwise. everything seems so...still, there's no breeze...no noises...it's as if the shadows had swallowed up everything and all that was left was her and...pure black nothingness. a shiver runs down her spine despite there being no chill present that night. it was plain eerie and her anxiety riddled mind started tossing horrible thoughts her way as ears fell flat against her head. what if her whole family had left for new lands? had they gone to see if there was anywhere safe left? what if she'd been left behind and this was to be her life forever...wandering this dark ghost town until the earth grew bored and swallowed her whole. pale jaws clench. 

she obviously knows it's not true, the rest of the pack are still present; just off somewhere being smart and actually sleeping. such illogical thoughts just seem to grow in power when slinking about in the height of night. however, she couldn't give a logical explanation for why the earth seemed to be holding it's breath but it did fill her with a real sense of dread that something awful was on the way. she lowers into a crouch, running paws along the lush grass absentmindedly as a dull gaze rests on the creek. it was what had made this place their home and yet something that she'd never even appreciated down to how permanent it seemed, now had a strange vulnerbility to it considering the power of their enraged earth. why was it doing this to them? she couldn't understand it, had they committed some great offence or was this always due to happen and she'd just been unlucky enough to be one of the generation born to endure the end of the world. 

everything was falling apart to the point that not one thing seemed solid in her life anymore. the world, their only home, was not only falling apart but also trying to make them suffer beforehand, her relationship with zephyr and @Helios had become this great void that grew wider everyday and had grown to a point that polaris feared had become irrepairable and so despite them still being alive and present in her life, she mourned her loss guiltily. the thought seemed wrong; selfish even considering that some wolves truly had lost others to the irreversible land of death but she just couldn't shake that her relationship with those two siblings could never be the same again and did she not have a right to feel pain over that? 

then there was @Lainie, her chest ached the moment the shadowy girl's image flashed through her mind; bright and startling. the earth she loved and marvelled over had struck down the purest soul she knew. she was no professional but she also was no idiot, she knew her sister's injuries were serious and physical issues aside as significant as they were; lainie had become a shell of her former self. once the most boisterous, confident and outgoing one of them all polaris wanted to break down everytime she witnessed her shuffling along now with that dull look in eyes usually usually so bright. she hadn't even been there when it had happened, instead of spending time with the one wolf who cared about her the most she'd been off doing her own thing trying to escape them all. what if she'd been there, she might've been able to help her...

she chews at her lip harshly until breaking the skin and letting out a little gasp at the metallic tang to flood her mouth. however she doesn't shy away from the accompanying sting, in fact she leans into it- focusing all her energy away from the turmoil within and on that stupid little cut instead. her tail flicks worriedly; what did it mean when a physical pain seemed like a relief from what was happening inside? she didn't know but it didn't seem good and a miserable sigh slips heavily into the night as her head falls on pale paws.