Jade Fern Grove a saint bernard sits at the top of the driveway

she is terrified. 

irrational perturbation hissing taunts at folded ears as she presses against the solid figure that was her sister. yet convinced that should she draw back, flesh would melt to cruel sneering air or if she dare even open her eyes the face of the one wrapped in her embrace would contort to the concerned grimace of a stranger. but the exhaled 'yeah' has the correct rise and falls of the voice she'd both grumbled at and giggled with as a child and her own lips part numbly to shudder forth her own "yeah" she doesn't have a clue as to what they're confirming but at this moment, she'd confirm her agreement to step off of a cliff rather than have any of her family torn from her grasp again. she hadn't even noticed how one sided her motion had been until the little spectre shifted slowly as if enervated to meet the verocity of her embrace like a hummingbird locking with a fox. a little spark of anxiety wriggles within her gut; would she be happy to see her? after everything that had happened with maman's pup and zeph and helios taking off...polaris had distanced herself from the pair a bit. letting a ridiculous seed of bitterness spread treacherous roots throughout her conscious as she grew convinced that the two seen themselves as better than lainie and her.

then she'd had to live with the fact that her stupid, childish excuses for 'turmoils'  had meant that she would never get the oppurtunity to embrace either of them and promise that no matter what; she did love them. the breaths pushed from her panting heart are shivering and fragile. would she pull away? 'please don't, i need you i can't lose anyone else please please please'

a single syllable slinks forth to prod testingly at her tensing figure....you what? her heart patters with the terror she could only imagine prey ever having to feel when knowing that the shadow lurking behind them was set on ending their life. she was so sick of hurting she didn't think she could do it again if zephyr decided she wanted nothing to do with her. her jaw sets stubbornly, a flare of vehemence blazing through her. no she wouldn't let it, she knew they loved each other-

 "i missed you"

a sob almost rocks forth at the relief to cascade across her like a wave of icy water but she bites it back hastily. forever unwilling to display an act of such blatant weakness despite how weak she truly felt from the wavering of her stupid heart to the shudder of the limbs that were supposed to support her. "i missed you so much i...." finally, finally rationality wins out and she pulls back albeit tentatively to focus intensely on the shifting depths of her sibling's glacial gaze. "i thought you were dead...everyone i thought...i thought i was completely alone" her voice is just above a whisper, straining against pain it had had to suffer. a little noise sounds behind her and she jumps a little, shooting a narrowed gaze behind her only to feel utterly doltish at the heat to rise to her cheeks at the realisation that west was there. of course he's there. he'd seen all that oh- her tail flicks uneasily at her hocks as she blinks to clear the mist lingering stubbornly in her gaze, shaking her head. "gosh i'm sorry, zeph this is west tyree a friend of mine im travelling with and well as you heard this is zeph- zephyr" still a little dazed, she forgets to add that this is in fact one of her 'dead' siblings; as if the fact that it was such a big deal to her meant that there was no way that anyone could not know who this was.