Stone Circle Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun

eyes clutch frantically to his when he looks to her, as if fearing should she glance away for a mere moment he might slip into a murkiness that she wouldn't have the ability to free him from. she should say something-- but what? what syllables could twirl together to make something that could make any of this even vaguely okay? his brother was dead, he'd killed another wolf which had summoned hell to their doorstep...her chest twisted painfully. west...the greeting wades itself towards her, as if the medium it must travel from mouth to ear was thick and enervating. dry lips parted to echo a soft "hey", she could imagine it slipping from her tongue, a uselessly mere droplet of water meant to aid someone dying of thirst. more a tease than anything as ears fluttered back in slight chagrin.  

the silence is so thickly charged to a point that her heart picked up pace in its ivory cage, as if believing it were preparing her with the strength and energy to leap into battle. frankly, she would have preferred if that were the situation. right now? it felt as if she were voluntarily standing among a flock of vultures as they picked and tore relentlessly at her still living figure. then he speaks and the vultures are suddenly a raging bull, smashing her apart with its staggering force; 'we should talk' 
trepidation wraps around her, squeezing the breath out of her as she can just about manage a swallow. unable to look away even as his gaze flits to the frustratingly chipper gurgle of the river. fuck this could not be good.

she wants to say something, maybe even a dry laugh and a poorly knitted joke to lighten some of this unbearable weight. but polaris doesn't so much as flex a muscle in that jaw, she finds she can only wait in twisting perturbation. sure enough, he might as well have aimed a rifle at her chest and pulled the trigger with what he said yet, ears now flicking up as something flashed in that jaded stare. and suddenly it is as if with that blow he's also smashed down the dam gates keeping her so on edge, misgivings abandoned in a flash as panicked energy surged though her with an intensity that made her jaw clench and muscles stand to attention. it is now, a great effort to stop from screaming at him in a want to stop the words he spewed- reach into his mind and snatch that festering idea before it could spread further.

he looks back to her and she flinches, the resigned certainty in those verdant eyes-- how is he so calm about this?? how can he act like this is alright, that this is some noble sacrifice he simply must make for the greater good. bullshit!!

ears swivelled a little, frown tugging at charcoal lips at that not so finely worded conclusion, eyes narrowing a fraction. although really anger was not what she should wield right now, was it not a ridiculous response to a decision that obviously stemmed from great pain?? yet she could not tuck it away, not when fear and panic writhed securely beneath its cloak. 

"no-" a gasped exclamation, emotion packing its basic response into that simple word as she glared sharply at him. poor west, he was certainly right about polaris' explosive tendencies and it seemed he was no more likely to avoid it now than any other time as teeth ground together against her inability to restrain her eruptive emotions. "you really think running is the right decision?" low blow, desparation really had a way of lashing a sharp tongue "you did protect easthollow, you fought those bastards what more could you have done? they used you for their reason to come here but...god did you not see their eyes west?? they loved it, and now that they've gotten a taste they won't need you as a reason to come here anymore. they thrive on destruction, they wanted you to feel this way...they wanted to make us uncertain of you-- this is playing right into their paws!! it won't be the last we've seen of them and...." she glanced hard at her paws, teeth baring at the ground as she panted and...fuck were those tears burning at the backs of her eyes? blinking rapidly, her voice dropped an octave as she hissed bitterly "i was pretty much useless against them, i know nothing about fighting hell i barely even hunt, i'd never felt so....so fucking weak before. leaving now....that is the only wrong move here west tyree."

she forces herself to meet his gaze once more, struggling against the bitter shame of her own self-deprecating acknowledgement. that despite her tendency to spiel these tales of bringing down evil, she was bloody useless when it came down to action. "and you can't do that to your parents" she thought of papa, how distraught he'd been when zephyr and helios had gone missing- how it had been the first notch of a downward spiral "i'm not their family i--, don't do what clay did-" no, that wasn't right, she didn't mean-- "i- fuck i don't mean it like that, i just i don't think he realised how much you all loved him and, what if you don't come back??" and suddenly here it came, having not been able to cry once since clay died and wishing so badly for its release-- it really had to come at the worst possible time?? each tear shone in the afternoon light as they settled into the damp fur of her pale cheeks, looking hard at the scintillate of the river; shoulders sagging as she whispered "i-i can't lose you west tyree, not to whatever guilt you might be feeling or to anyone else and i don't care if that's selfish"

and something about that sentence and the emotional baggage clinging close to each word made her breathlessly nervous.