Redhawk Caldera intro to anxiety

My friend at work showed me this artist and he's pretty great.

Okay, so he was in. He was back. It was day one of the rest of his life, and he was going to make the best of it! Prove himself! Be the best dang warrior he could be! Except... Titmouse didn't know where to start. He had been led to a point along the outer rim of the Caldera, and then left to his own devices. Given space. Time to think and (hopefully) understand all that had transpired.

Every few minutes he'd encounter a scent that he didn't recognize, or one that he thought he did but couldn't place. Eventually his energetic strolling became a lethargic drag of the feet, and then he stopped walking altogether. The ridge before him dropped out in to quite a crazy view of the packlands - a metropolis of trees, plateaus, and the giant central lake. It was beautiful. It was enormous. It was absolutely overwhelming - so he just stood there staring for a good while, until his legs were tired and he plopped back upon his haunches without any idea of what to do next.

He knew his brother was back, but Phox had not made the move to actually go hang out with him, bro-style. There was not really anything he could blame this on, aside from maybe laziness. Phox just was not motivated to do much of anything but eat, look at the stars, and check the caches. Sure, he hung out with Towhee on a regular basis, but that was the only pack mate he felt especially close to. Lagan, sure, but he was older and more of a mentor than anything... like some sort of half-parent, half-sibling. Orca was cool, but Phox had never felt particularly close to her, either. Maybe nobody would ever be as great as Towhee was.

Still, Phox knew it was important that Titmouse feel welcomed home. Besides, he was curious to know where his brother had gone, what he had done, and what sorts of adventures he had while he was away from Redhawk Caldera. It wasn't particularly difficult to track Titmouse down (after all, Phox was training to become a tracker), and he found his brother sitting atop a ridge. "Titmouse!" he called out, hoping his sudden appearance wouldn't cause his brother to lose footing. "Hey man!"

Back when he lived among the vale wolves things seemed simpler; there were less bodies of course, and much more to do. The territory might've been massive then as well, but Tit wasn't aware. He had been younger and hardly keen in absorbing such information. His memories of the place were scattered remnants of an old self. He wondered about his future as he looked out over the ridge. Would he forget all about the vale, in time? Would they forget about him? Had he let Rannoch down when he left...?

Titmouse did not come to any conclusions, but it was no fault of his own. He wasn't a very introspective creature and when a voice came bursting from behind him, the boy was quick to divert his attention away from his doubts and curiosities. He was on his feet and abruptly turning to look through the foliage for the origin of the voice - and saw his dark-coated brother. For a split second he thought it was Redshank of all people, and a smile drifted over his pointed face.

Hey - this wasn't Redshank, but that was okay, his brain corrected. How did you know I was here? Nice save, bro.

Titmouse reacted... a little strangely, but Phox could not blame him. His brother had been away for quite some time, and it was probably going to be tough to get back into a normal routine here. He asked how Phox had found him, and Phox grinned. "I've been practicing my tracking skills. I actually track this one particular herd of deer a lot, but when I found out you were back, I knew I was gonna have to track you down sooner or later." It was apparent now that Phox had chosen the former.

"I want to hear all about whatever you've been up to," the young Redhawk added. "Did you get lost? Or did somebody steal you?" Phox wondered if Titmouse remembered anything from the caldera. Did memories disappear if you didn't stick around near them? Or were they locked in your head? Maybe they would come back now that Titmouse was home.

Phox was impressive. He'd developed in the way he was supposed to - not been dragged off by fate the way that Tit had been. He had skills. Maybe he wasn't a warrior, but when the other boy boasted of his ability to track and to hunt, Titmouse felt intensely jealous and his smile faltered a little bit. He wanted to be able to talk about himself that way too. Rather than shouting at the world that he was a warrior (as much as he hoped to be one, he was still untested and barely capable), he wanted everyone to know it. To see him work for it and earn it. Titmouse had missed his chance, or so it felt.

Did you get lost? - what a question. Tit shrugged, but froze at the other suggestion. No, he hadn't been taken. Why would anyone take him? Is that what everyone thought? Either he ran away on purpose or he was stolen away..? Liffey hadn't stolen him! Had she? Tit was a bit confused now, and this showed in the crease of his brow and the small frown that took hold of his expressive, masked face.

I don't think anything really happened. I... I remember being in the forest with someone, and then in the meadow, and at some point I went beyond that. Liffey took care of me, and she introduced me to her friends in the mountains. Hopefully that did not insinuate that Liffey had kidnapped him, because that sounded wrong, and he was prepared to strike up a verbal defense if Phox got the wrong idea.

Maybe other, more curious wolves would have tried to dive deeper into what had happened, but Phox was content with the explanation. Wouldn't he have done the same thing? If he had met Liffey outside the caldera, he would have begged her to come home, but he just as easily would have followed her and met her friends. In fact, he had met one of her friends: Rannoch.

"You mean Rannoch?" Phox asked, a flash of annoyance flickering over his face. He had met him while he'd been tracking his herd, and it was Rannoch who had told him Liffey was never coming home. Ah yes, that was why Phox didn't like that guy. At least, that was how he remembered it.

When the name of his idol passed from his brothers lips, he was surprised but also joyous. Except, after a beat, he realized what the tone of Phox's voice indicated. Was he not a fan? How? Rannoch was... well, Rannoch!

"And his brothers Cypress and Rian, plus some kids my age," although it was clear early on that Redshank had been more of a bully than a friend.

Titmouse decided to redirect before Phox could say much about the warriors he admired: "What about you and Towhee? And Orca. Did you guys go on adventures?" Maybe if he got his brother talking then they could find some common ground. Offhandedly he added, "I uh, saw a bear once, but thats.. not a big deal."

Phox didn't know anything about Rannoch's siblings. All he knew was that Rannoch had been the messenger, and Phox had been happy to shoot him for it. Rannoch hadn't explained why Liffey was coming back, only that she wasn't. Not only that, but she wasn't even willing to come visit them. Rannoch had acted as if this was perfectly acceptable. It wasn't like Liffey was unwelcome at Redhawk Caldera. She was just stupid and dumb, and Phox kinda hated her for it. Rannoch was caught up in all that, which was too bad for him.

That made Phox wonder why Titmouse hadn't come back. In fact, Phox mostly ignored Tit's questions, deciding he had more important ones to ask. "Why didn't you bring Liffey back?" he asked, "I mean, why didn't either of you come back?" They had abandoned Redhawk Caldera, and Phox just couldn't understand why. "Did you even want to come back?" Phox had gone into this conversation optimistic, but now, after learning that Rannoch had taken both Liffey and his brother, Phox was starting to think that guy was some sort of weird home wrecker in a non-traditional sense. Instead of swooping in on partners, he swooped in on siblings.

All of a sudden Titmouse was being interrogated, and as he listened he felt a flare of irritation. There was guilt there too, probably quite a bit of it to be honest, but the boy had to admit he never considered getting Liffey to come back. He couldn't even remember their conversation from that day. 

Did you even want to come back? Phox concluded - and Titmouse was left reeling. What kind of question was that? This conversation was quickly growing out of control for the poor boy, and his only defence was to try and catch up, to explain, but each time he tried Phox was asking something new; now that he was quiet though, Titmouse took the stage.

Stop it! Did you think I left on purpose? I was little! I had no idea what was going on. I didn't think about coming back at all, which might've been a terrible thing to admit at this point but Titmouse couldn't help it, he was angry and being honest and along with that, didn't really care if his brother's feelings were hurt at this point. He felt absolutely attacked. but I didn't know any better. Everything was so big and exciting outside of the caldera, and I met so many cool new people! Besides, Tit cut to the point as a defiant little frown crossed his features, You have Towhee. You've always had Towhee. If you wanted to find me, you should'a tracked me down.

The boy was bristling and pacing by the time he stopped his little tirade, and in true Titmouse fashion his voice carried a little too much. A little too loud, and a little too far. Phox claimed to be a tracker and a hunter - so why didn't he try and find them? Why was this all Tit's fault?