Stone Circle I'm still here

For @Valette

Steph had been rather quite and recluse as of late. Her world seemed upside down. The absence of her biological father would have been easy to ignore, since he hadn't been there for her up until this point. She had Murdock, and her excitement over his return was what allowed her not to feel anything about Ezekiel. But, her hopes had been smothered and killed when he brought along his new friend. 

She had wanted, needed, things to go back to the way they were. She could forgive him for being gone so long, but not for having his attentions elsewhere. She had grown accustomed to having him there whenever she called, having his undivided attention, and now she just wasn't sure how to handle not having it. 

She found herself at the Stone Circle early this morning, and laid down against the cold stone to watch the sun rise. It gave her something to focus on rather than her thoughts. She stretched out and laid her head on top of her forelegs.

After talking with Nanook about a possible mate and talking to Clary about Steady, Valette realized that she might still miss him too much to even think about having another mate. She couldn't really sleep so once the first rays of the sun peeked over the horizon she headed outside to Steady's Stone. Valette started to refer to the tallest stone in the circle as Steady's Stone as he was buried before it.

As she walked up to the circle she realized that she wasn't the first to come here. She watched how Steph was sitting where she was always sitting, by Steady's Stone. Valette felt a lump in her throat. How she wished Steph would have Steady as a father. He would be there for here. Valette chuffed in greeting and then sat down next to her daughter. She gave a small lick on her cheek as well but didn't say anything. She would let Steph start talking herself. That way she could decide herself to talk to her mother, only if she wanted to.

It wasn't long before her mother showed up, and Steph gave her a soft smile as she received her lick. Her eyes went back to the valley, and it was a few moments before she spoke. I called for Ezekiel, she confessed, refusing to call him "Dad". He didn't come. Her voice was mostly void of any emotion, as she honestly didn't care because she thought she'd always have Murdock.

I don't like Moo's new friend, she said honestly. He seems to have all his focus on her. And none on Steph. It was true she hadn't sought him out, because she was scared of being rejected again. @Murdock was the only father figure she had ever known, and to have his attentions elsewhere just hurt.

Valette let out a soft sigh when she heard that Steph tried to contact Ezekiel. Valette hadn't smelled him on the borders for a while now. She feared the worst. She wished she hadn't told them about Ezekiel. Now he was gone anyhow. "I don't know what is wrong with him lately," she growled and then softened. "I am sorry that he wasn't there for you. He should have. No excuses," she huffed.

Valette remembered Murdock coming to talk to her to speak out his worries about Steph. The mother slowly nodded. "I know you didn't like her. I saw it at the borders. But perhaps she isn't so bad? I know I wasn't very nice to her either but Murdock is a good guy. He was friends with you. You aren't so bad, so maybe his new friend Poppy can also be your new friend," she suggested softly. "I know it might feel like he replaced you with her but I am super duper sure that Murdock misses hanging out with you. And wouldn't it be nice for Murdock to have more friends, so when we hang out he has another friend to do things with?" Valette spoke kindly all the way. It were mere suggestions she was giving rather than a scolding.

Love them <3

She was inwardly relieved that her mother didn't try to defend Ezekiel. She gave him no excuses, and neither did Steph. She felt he had none. He hadn't been there most of her life, except the few weeks he tried to get to know them. Steph hadn't allowed him to, but @Clary had. She hoped her sister wasn't hurt by his disappearance. 

Steph opened her maw to contradict her mother that Poppy was nice. She was about to say Valette wasn't all that kind to her either, but her mother beat her to the punch. She made some good points, most of which began to thaw out Steph's cold detachment to Murdock. But, there was one thing that still froze her. He said I wasn't enough for him, she admitted. Murdock hadn't said that in so many words, but it felt like that to Steph. Steph didn't say anything further, as she couldn't really deny that what Valette said was true. Maybe they could all hang out and be friends together. @Poppy didn't seem that bad. Well, actually she seemed pretty nice. But, Murdock's words still hurt.

Tagging for reference!

Valette watched as Steph seemed to think of her words. However, the mother didn't expect her daughter to say those words. She tipped her head a bit and looked worried. "Are you sure Murdock said that?," she questioned. She didn't feel like Murdock would say that to a child. "He told me he missed you,"' she spoke in return to her daughter. She felt like Steph might have taken it the wrong way instead of what Murdock meant to say.

"Sometimes other wolves are wrong, you know. Even I make mistakes. I didn't treat Poppy kindly in the beginning either but she seems alright. So maybe Murdock was wrong about what he said. Perhaps you can prove to him that he does need you," she suggested. She was not sure if Steph was ready to do that. Valette was pretty sure her daughter would tell her if so.

Her mother asked her to confirm what Murdock said, and Steph shrugged. Not in those exact words, she admitted. He said that I was his only friend, and that he needed more, she added. She felt like he said she wasn't enough, especially when he went as far as to bring a female into the pack solely to be his companion. She made a noncommittal sound when Valette said that Murdock said he missed her. Why would he? He had Poppy now.

Her mother seemed to backtrack on how she had treated Poppy on the borders of Easthollow. Her ears shifted back on her head, showing a slight displeasure at her mother's words. Why do I have to prove it to him? What was this notion about proving oneself to someone else? Why did she have to go out of her way to show Murdock something she had been showing him her whole life?

Valette could understand why Steph would think such a thing. It sounded like he wanted other friends and didn't value theirs. "Well, I can see that sounds bad," she agreed. "But I don't think he meant in that way. Perhaps because you were a good friend he wanted more? Though, I can only speculate, so you will have to ask him." But she wasn't sure if Steph wanted that.

"Well, um.. I guess you don't. But perhaps you can show him you have been a good friend to him and.. Well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea? I don't know, Steph. I'm sorry. I am good with hunting and such but with relationships... I just don't want to see you unhappy and since he made you happy I'd hope that you and Murdock fix this thing." She offered to her daughter.

Her mother tried to calm the situation, and Steph understood that. But, she was not willing to walk up to Murdock and ask him to explain just exactly what he meant. She just wasn't ready to do that. Her heart hurt in a way it never had, and a wall had built up around it. Instead of responding to her mother's advice, she could only shrug.

Steph still felt like by just doing what she always did, she showed Murdock how much he meant to her. As far as she knew, they were fine. And then he just up and brought a companion home and suddenly she wasn't enough for him. She sighed. Maybe he had gotten lonely on his trip, and that's why he thought he needed a companion. Then, he just didn't leave her wherever he found her. Still, Steph didn't like. But, she couldn't disagree with her mother. I hope so, too, she replied softly. And she really did. But, Steph had a stubborn streak, and she just wasn't ready to let go of it yet.