Hideaway Strath The only thing that's on my mind

@Derg

Arlette had been feeling different lately. She had felt it coming and had kept to herself. Perhaps she had been avoiding Derg a bit. This was because she wasn't sure if she was ready, if she wanted pups. Last year she lost them. She had given birth to stillborns. She couldn't do this again, she didn't want to go through that. The female had been dating or beginning things with Derg but they hardly talked about pups. She liked the idea of them but actually having them...

Arlette had mostly been on the move in the territory, not being at her usual spots. But that also caused her to find some plants that she didn't know yet, and she wanted to bring to the chambers. She decided to quickly bring those to the altar. She figured she would only be quickly in and out of the chambers before trying to vanish again. Trying to hide that she was very much in heat.

Arlette was...absent.
Not gone, but she was avoiding him, certainly.
But while she could hide herself, she couldn't hide her scent.
When he'd got a whiff of her, he'd shuddered. A tingling running down his spine.
Arlette was in heat.

He'd thought back over the days before her heat, wondering what they meant to each other. His confession, their time in the Chambers, every little look they gave each other, how much they relied on each other.
It must be the fourth or fifth day now, and he couldn't stand not talking to her, not seeing her.

She avoided her usual haunts; she also knew and didn't want to see him. What was she scared of?
But there was once place he knew she wouldn't avoid. Her medical stash in the Chambers. Derg, in usually stalker fashion, laid in wait outside the Chambers. Hidden from sight. Waiting for that pretty woman to wander in.

Then she did. Clutching herbs n her jaws she rushed in; like she knew. He stood, moving in after her.
He waited for a second, hopefully she'd set the herbs down neatly.
Another step. "Arlette."
Soft light filtered in over him. He waited, wondering what she'd do.

Arlette was surprised when she saw him. She was instantly aware of her scent and lowered herself submissively. Her tail half between her legs, not because she was afraid but wanted to hide it. She dropped the herbs and battered her red eyes at him. "Hi," she whispered and casted her eyes away again, guilty, caught. She just didn't want to disappoint him. He smelled so good though, so manly and strong. She wanted him so badly. She felt just busted and froze into place.

She dipped closer to the ground - something he'd not seen her do since she'd first joined them.
In Kynareth's presence.
His teeth pressed together, watching. She was alluring and beautiful.
He stepped closer, head dipping his scarred crown slightly as she drew in his scent.
Her tail twitching where it pressed low.

"Has he..Kynareth...?"
His gaze cast over Arlette, emphasising his suggestion that the brindle male had sought her at the first whiff of the scent before Derg did.
If the answer was yes...he'd surely shake with rage at what he had done. But his scent wasn't there, clingi ng to her like a warm jacket. But that didn't mean much...she was moving like she did around him back then. Low and very conscious of herself.

But if she confirmed no, like he wanted so desperately to hear...the agouti male would likely shake in a different way. Derg couldn't help the slight smile touching his lips at the thought despite his question.

Arlette perked up at hearing Kynareth name. She shook her head instantly at Derg as he stepped closer. She wanted to wag her tail but that wouldn't be helping. The idea that she would even allow Kynareth, then again, if he would eye on her then there was hardly anything she could do about it. She could hardly fight him.

"No, Derg," she offered softly but stayed low. She watched him. "I-- I lost my pups this year, and I am not sure if I can lose them again," she ended in a whisper and casted her red eyes away from him. "And also disappoint you," she added. "So I thought it was better to stay away." She did really want pups but she was really worried about the fact that she miscarry again.

He let out the breath he was holding.
No, she was fine. He was just paranoid.
But with good reason.

He closed the distance between them and was reaching out for her when she spoke again, her words fumbling and stumbling, her eyes not leaving him. Pinning him to the spot.
I lost my pups.
His lips parted slightly, his head starting to shake.
"No, no, no, love" he moved in to touch her, wanting to hold her into his, share his warmth with her. His voice hushed and deep with the emotion that suddenly choked him. To hear that she had lost so much and that she thought she'd disappoint him. To know he was the source for her worry and fears.
"You can never disappoint me. Ever." He looked at her again, looking into those heartbroken eyes, "If you told me no I'd not...if you asked me I would...Arlette no matter the outcome I can never be sad when I can wake up and know the sun will shine on your back, and I'll be blessed to see it."
He pressed his head into her shoulder, just happy to see her again, to be able to hold her and keep her safe.

"I love you," he whispered, only for her ears to hear. 

Arlette kept her head held low, but stayed where she was standing when he stepped closer. She didn't mind him close, that was the thing. She wanted him close. Arlette turned her head a bit to look at him. Red eyes casted on him with an ashamed expression. Though a soft hopeful smile on her lips appeared when he continued to speak. She leaned into him then. Wanting this touch. "That-- That means a lot," she spoke. The fact that she could say no and he would stay away. But, clearly there was a concern for him that Kynareth would claim her heat. She would not want that.

"I love you too," she whispered back. "I do want them... want pups. Especially with you, I just -- What if I lose them again Derg?," she sounded insecure, insecure about her own ability to have children. "I would be so heartbroken to be met with death after labor," she admitted. She wanted to be hopeful, and perhaps all she needed was him to be hopeful just to have something to believe in.

His honey eyes drank her in.
Appreciated again as he had time and time before her features. How soft she looked, yet hardened by her scars.
She was stunning.
Derg smiled softly, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. He'd started to love her, and it seemed impossible that he'd stop. 

He pulled back to look into her eyes. She wanted them - and most of all with him? 
But he could only see the want for that love she never got to show, and the pain it brought her. Her fears evident even now.
Her voice broke him, the utter despair ripping him to pieces. They'd share the heartache, from her past - and any possible future.

"I won't let that happen," he mused quietly in her ear. "And even if it did, I'd bring us some children to love and care for, and they will be ours." He didn't care if they weren't his blood, as long as it made Arlette happy.
He wanted to see that side of her, caring and protective.
He rested his cheek on her head, "Do you want to?"
He couldn't contain himself much longer with this scent begging him to act on impulse. If she said no, he would pull himself away, but...if she said yes, and he could see that desire in her eyes...
There wouldn't be anything to stop him.

This was just exactly why she liked Derg. He listened, and understood where she came from. If she would say no he would go. That was something that Kynareth and most other males lacked. She wondered just briefly where he would find those children but quickly put it to mind. She wanted her own. With Derg. "Are we-- are we allowed to have pups from Kynareth?," she asked. "My mother was very strict and only allowed herself to breed. Does he enforce those types of rules?," she asked, not wanting again to get pregnant without permission.

Arlette quirked up her lips. "I do, Derg. I do want our own. I'd love to carry pups. I just... I just know that last time they were all still born. It might happen again. I just. I do want to warn you for that," she admitted. Clearly by her scent alone it was clear she wanted the male. She had been hiding away for a few days which meant that she was probably at her peak of fertility right now.

Did they have permission?
Derg sucked a tooth, knowing he hadn't asked. Hadn't wanted Kynareth to know she was in heat...
He shook his head, "But do you think that will stop us?"
He'd ask later and pretend, even though he'd likely smell like her. A cold bath would be in order.

He started to nuzzle her fur, nibbling at her skin underneath.
"I don't believe so. The Saint's is not yet a bloodline to be purified."
They needed young to keep the Saints powerful, and Derg was a trusted member. He'd see to it there are no issues. None that would affect Arlette anyway.

He hadn't thought of having pups before He'd loved it when Grezig had them, despite them being spawn of a bastard. Training them how to live and fight, what was good and bad.
He'd never thought he'd have the opportunity for his own, despite what he was...what he liked.
But here she was, standing before him, changing his heart.
"It's ok love, I will be here for you if that happens." He too would feel the pain. He had never let anyone into his heart like this.
Derg again started to nibble around her neck, a soft hum of content rumbling from him.

Arlette looked at Derg with a serious expression. "Yes," she returned instantly. "I got accidentally pregnant once, just because I wasn't aware of my heat and I had to live through scrutiny and hatred of my mother," she explained. "I am not doing that again," she returned, rather firmly. "What if Kynareth kicks us out?," she commented. 'Where would we go?" Even if Derg had a good rank she didn't want to assume.

She let out a soft groan with want when he nibbled her and showered with attention. "I finally feel at home, I don't want to ruin that," she admitted as badly as she wanted pups. But if they could check it with Kynareth and it was alright, she really wanted to give Derg pup, so many pups. "Simmik is pregnant. What if Kynareth doesn't want competition for his own brood with Simmik?" Those were things to consider, and Arlette was very submissive in that department.

Arlette pushed herself to her feet. "I should go ask him," she let out and looked at Derg. Because that was how committed she was, facing their leader in a state like his for approval. But she figured that Derg wouldn't really agree with that.

His ears flattened, knowing and expecting what was to come next.
Her fear, her need for approval overwhelmed her. That pain again, from everything surrounding her past.
Her last litter.

"Rusalka." He replied almost flatly. He'd find them, the sea witches. He'd carry Arlette on his back the entire way if he had to.
He bit his tongue though, wishing he hadn't said a thing. He didn't even know Simmik was pregnant, earning Arlette a look of 'What the fuck?'
But he stood his head as she stood, declaring she'd find Kynareth.
His instinct took over as his teeth softly snapped over her scruff. He let go instantly, his heart thundering with quiet panic. A single butterfly trapped in him, trying to find a way out.

"You're not going near him."
His voice gruff and curt as he hovered over her.
He dipped his head, turning away from her. Shame covered him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap."
He swallowed. Game over Derg. You big blundering idiot.

Arlette was about to head his way when she felt a tug at her scruff, something that brought her back to when she was a pup and was scolded. His snap didn't hurt, it just startled her. She was submissive by nature and was quick to lower herself and look up at him. His words were firm, strict even, as he hovered over her. She nodded quickly that she understood and wouldn't go see him.

She didn't really see it as something bad. It was something she hadn't realized, but did now. In her mind the former Overseer trusted Kynareth completely, but with Derg's reaction it was clear to her that he didn't, not around her and how she scented right now. Arlette sat up and licked his muzzle. "What are we going to do now? What if he disapproves, Derg?," she asked. "Are you that willing to take that risk?," she asked, not sure if she was okay with it. If it was a no and defy an order like that, again.

What if he disapproves? So fucking what if he does.
"I'll become the Grandmaster." 
For Arlette. For them, and their family. He'd challenge the Grandmaster and take his place if he didn't like it. He wouldn't lose the chance, let Arlette slip away into self-imposed exile again because of her heat, nor would he let her litter be lost.

His eyes tilted to her, absolute calmness and steel in them. He meant everything. It was a promise.
He tucked his muzzle under hers with a sigh, "I'll take any risk for you, my love."
It would be his burden, his battle. Not hers. He would keep her safe, and stay alive in the process.
His muzzle cupped her neck, feeling the thrum of her pulse just below.

"I love you. I'll never stop loving you."

Arlette gasped. She admired that Derg wanted to do such great length for her, and their possible further pups. She licked under his chin. "Oh Derg," she whispered. "You are so sweet," she spoke. "But those are dangerous things to say," she ended in a whisper. She looked up at him, his gaze so firm and sure of himself. She whined softly, wanting him.

"I love you, so much," she whispered happily. "If-- I want to," she admitted to him. She felt he would make a great dad. But there were still nerves. Perhaps, she wouldn't mind where she would live as long as she was with Derg. She nipped him. "I want you." Just spoke that Kynareth was busy enough with Simmik.

He tilted his head down to her a little, a soft smile on his lips.
She was scared, but he would protect her. He would not let them lose again. Either of them.
"I know, Arlette, but for you..." Anything was left unsaid as he whispered back, pressing his body to hers again.

Her whine brushed his ears, stirring him.
He swallowed a she spoke again, expecting her to demand he get permission now.
But it didn't come. I want you.
A shuddering breath left him, his muscles were still tense. I want you.

"You have me," he mused, a smirk tugging his lips.
He started to nibble at her again, his tongue now sweeping over the fur along her scruff...against her neck.
He wanted her. His tail waved softly, another shiver running down his spine.
He breathed in her scent, drawing it into him. She smelt so good, even better than usual.

He pulled back, looking at her again with his final question held in his eyes.
Now?

Arlette nipped him fondly when he spoke that she had him. She knew she had him. She wanted him too. She knew that his first words should not be repeated out loud again, however, it did tell her how much Derg wanted this as well, how much he would sacrifice for it.

She saw the look in his eyes, once again asking. It was really nice. She nodded. Knowing that she might make the mistake again of disobeying a leaders orders but she wanted him badly and they made the conscious decision together. "Yes," she breathed, and braced herself for his weight which she knew was about to come.

She felt excitement rush through her knowing that this time, these pups would be welcome and planned. Not an accident.

- FADE TO BLACK BECAUSE BABYMAKING -