Blackfeather Woods How home stays half the world away

@Astara

Averna's unexpected visit had reignited something within Damien, something that he could not ignore if he wanted to. There were still many Meloniis from his mother's lineage scattered around in unknown places, and those he could simply not chase down, but he knew of some others that still held on to Blackfeather Woods, and those were the ones he most dearly wanted to take under his wing and bring up to honor his brother's memory. Averna and Astara were talented spiderlings, and it was a shame that he hadn't been there for them for so long.

After telling Nyx of his plans and leaving @Midar and @Aries back in Deepwood Weald to take care of things and demonstrate that they were worthy of their new promotion, Damien departed his kingdom in a mission that only he could carry out, and he needed to do it alone. It was a risk leaving home with Nyx so close to whelping, but Damien trusted his clan to care for her and the reward for coming back home was very promising.

It felt strange returning after so long, and after so many times of having left the place, but the nostalgic beating in his chest was all too familiar. He approached carefully, knowing well that Kove would have instructed anyone he'd managed to recruit under his regime to look out for him, but the lack of scent along the borders was unsettling. He lingered there for a moment, wondering whether the Inuit elder had come up with a technique to fool intruders, but he watched the forest remain lifeless until his eyes caught hers. She stood there blending so perfectly in the dark that she could have been a shadow itself, and there, Damien risked it all to do what he'd come for. Astara, is that you?

astara had spent the morning lingering along the borders, rifling through old caches interspersed around blackfeather. her sides had grown lean, and the jaunty hike of her hips bore new signs of food deprivation.

she languished now under the slim arm of a beech. ahead a figure loitered and then approached, the proud head of the melonii’s sovereign. despite his initial surprise, astara regarded him distantly — for he too had abandoned the girls and in her eyes, hastened blackfeather’s demise.

Unable to make out her silhouette completely Damien failed to see Astara's diminished shape, but the mistrust was clear in the shine of her eyes. Damien had to be cautious in his approach, and he would not blame the girl if she happened to hate him, he had earned that and much more. But his interest in the twins' wellbeing was honest, and he tried to show it through his posture by lowering his tail and ears as he took a couple of steps closer. Did she even recognize him? He couldn't tell, but he knew it was his niece he was facing. Astara, I won't harm you. It's Damien. I'm family, remember? She had to remember. It hadn't been for anything that Damien had made the effort of facing his communicative problems to tell two mute spiderlings that he truly cared for them. And he did.

astara did remember. damien had come during a formative part of the young spiderling’s life, and while she recognized him as blood, she just as easily recalled how alone she and averna had ultimately been once relmyna had died. 

he didn’t care. mou didn’t care. kove didn’t care. maegi didn’t care. none of them had been there when blackfeather fell — none of them had been there the day relmyna stole her last breath and walked out of this world forever. 

her features hardened, and she turned her face away, yet she did not move from her rooted spot under the beech’s shade.

The girl turned away from him and it felt like a fang piercing right through his chest. He wished he could explain to her that he was back to bring her home, to be the father she'd lost and finally be able to live as a family, but both her lack of communicative skills and his own difficulty expressing his feelings were hard to deal with.

I'm sorry I left. But I want to explain to you why I did it, he started softly, daring to take a couple steps closer seeing that Astara hadn't left. It had to be a good sign. The Woods had been corrupted, I had to start again elsewhere to be able to provide a real home for our family, he tried to explain, stopping his advance just a few paces behind the young shadow. I asked your mother to come along with you and Averna, but she wanted to stay here with Kove. I couldn't just take you... he revealed, hoping that mentioning Relmyna would make Astara believe him more easily. I can protect you now, he promised, and once again dared to come closer; this time close enough to touch her, but waiting for her avail to do so.

he was sorry - everyone was sorry. astara’s ears slicked back in a gesture of indignation; they were all apologetic but none of them, not one, had lived through the hell she and averna had witnessed. 

she stubbornly kept her face turned, though she did not move as her uncle stepped close. part of her deep down inside wanted some sort of affection - some sort of consolation like her mother’s ministrations... but a stronger, far more angsty side of astara wanted to show the world her teeth.

An invitation to come closer never came, but still, Astara hadn't added space between them when he crept closer. Her ears had flattened and her eyes raged with blue fire, but still, she had allowed him to approach her. You don't have to be alone anymore. I can take you home, he offered. Damien's vocal skills could be deficient, however, he understood wolves' behavior enough to know that Astara wanted him there. And so he took a risk to place his nose behind her ear in a tentative nuzzle. He thought that was what Relmyna would do as a mother, and even Cicero if he had ever had the chance to interact with his daughters, and so, feeling the responsibility to take the vacant Damien did it without question.

bratstara

skulking under her uncle, astara refused to look his way - even as he extended an offer for her to come home.

but this was home, to astara.. and averna, too. home, where relmyna's bones slept enduringly. home, where her blood and soul seemed tethered to the forest's void. astara's ears slicked back as she felt a touch - a touch she wanted, despite her teenage angst. she braced against it, feeling raw anger stirred by her uncle's gentle nuzzle.

she sprung away like a scalded cat, fangs first -- a wild, hellish look in her gaze as she defensively turned around and faced damien. he would not take her away from here, from her sister. from her home.

For a moment Damien thought he'd gotten what he wanted, for Astara to welcome him in his life and see him as a guardian. But he just wasn't quite there yet. She jumped away from him, facing him with blue fire in her eyes and bare fangs. By this point Damien was convinced she could understand him when he talked to her, and so he believed she knew what he was trying to do. It was that which she was rejecting, for he'd felt it too, in his heart, that his embrace was just what she'd been needing.

Ok, ok! he said taking one step back. Even if his mind was telling Damien to kidnap the girl and be done with it, he knew that it would do no good to anyone. He couldn't just rip her off from Blackfeather Woods, not if she didn't come to him willingly, and he would have it no other way. Astara I need you to trust me, ok? he said, figuring he would need to find another way to get her and Averna back. Until she made it clear that she did, Damien wouldn't make another move, for what he was about to do could come out very wrong if she didn't.

astara trusted no one in this world -- perhaps not even averna -- so when damien stepped back and pleaded for trust, the nightcub's features darkened in a scowl.

all the same she would hear him out -- but that didn't mean for a moment that she trusted anybody. too many adults had let averna and astara down for astara to ever believe herself capable of trusting again.

She stopped to look at him, fury pouring from her midnight eyes as Damien stood there hoping that the reason she had stayed was because she had the smallest amount of trust in him. After all she had allowed him to touch her, embraced his company although reluctantly, and had recognized him after all this time as a friendly face. Damien, by now, had understood the importance of Blackfeather Woods for the girls, and he knew that for as much as he wanted it, he couldn't rip them apart from their home like he had done to himself. If they were to come with him he would have to pave the way for them and take them by the hand (paw?) or else he would have to come to them if that's what it took to get them back.

His heart pounded in his mouth as Damien prepared to release the very same promise he had made to Relmyna the very last time he was in Blackfeather Woods. He had kept that promise, he was there to get them and reunite their family, only he had taken too long for Relmyna. Still, the main reason he had made that promise was for Averna and Astara, and he was determined to see it done.

I will come back for you, he said for the second time in his life, and this once was as real, or perhaps more serious as the last one. Without seeing much else to do than trusting Astara to see how faithfully he was speaking, Damien gave one last, long and nostalgic look at his niece and turned to depart from his homeland's shadows to get back to the Weald - not home, for home was and would always be Blackfeather Woods

<3

hunched still under damien's moonlit gaze, the nightcub glanced resentfully to the forest. there was a scowl, faint still, on her features. truth be told, astara had no faith in adults. not anymore. her favorite one had up and died, the one she had needed most -- and all others had faded away.

she did not move until her uncle had stepped away. sometimes, children stuck in their own world could be so cruel and insensitive to the needs of others -- astara was no exception, moving to flee back into the woods instead of embrace her uncle for all he strove to provide her.