Otter Creek striking a pose, smiling in photos without any reason with people that ill never know
#7
Except it isn't as easy to keep his own thoughts out of his head as he'd like, especially when the stranger bites back and Zephyr finds the words mirroring his own thoughts. Unexpectedly, it hurts. The pain leads his thoughts to Kratos, to the conversations they'd had on the road; about freedom and its meaning, its importance to his mate. How could he have forgotten?
But he didn't forget, and he knows that. He'd been a victim himself, he'd experienced the helplessness and hopelessness of captivity. He knows what it is to have his decisions taken from him, his life bound in chains. It feels like having your skin peeled away bit by agonizing bit, like being crushed in a vice until all that's left of you is a battered husk. And here he is, doing it to someone else. The image in his mind, Kratos's loving golden gaze, twists into disgust and hatred — a mirror of the golden stranger. He stands abruptly, a delayed response to the aggression yet lacking any defensiveness.
You're right. This is fucked up, He says, voice low and rough with emotion. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done this to you — or anyone. I just — His voice breaks, and then comes faster, emotion rising until he's bordering hysteria. I wanted someone to hurt the way I have, and then you were there, and beautiful, and I wanted you to like me and I hated it. I still hate it — maybe I am fucking crazy. I don't know. Is that what happens when the world fucks someone up too much?
He swallows hard, stepping back, and then the tears come. Fucking tears. Do whatever you want. I'm not going to try to force you to do anything, Pathetic, he thinks, and the thought is a cold knife through his chest. He always has been. His next words lack the edge of hysteria, tone turning colder, harder despite the fact that he's crying in front of this stranger whose pity he doesn't want or deserve. It's so — fucking stupid, I wanted you to like me — and instead I did this. You should just kill me — that's what I did. I killed them all, and then I became them.
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