Blackfeather Woods like ghosts from an enchanter fleeing
#1
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Avoidance isn't enough. Zephyr has done his best to keep away from @Taikon, but he can feel the man's presence lingering, following. He knows he wants to talk to him — and Zephyr doesn't want to hear any of it. So he finds him first, and he doesn't give him a chance to say a word.
Taikon. I heard your conversation with Takiyok — not much. But enough. And I'm not interested in talking about it, He continues without pause, flat and detached, icy eyes cool and indifferent. I'm not interested in talking at all, actually. All you've said to me — it was all lies, and I won't believe otherwise. I've known men like you, and I don't have time for it. I have enough to deal with — so if you want to keep up your nice guy persona, the best way to do that is to do what I ask. Don't talk to me. Don't touch me. Don't follow me. I'll keep my word, and I'll see you safely to wherever you want to go. But we are not friends — we aren't anything. I'll always hope that you find happiness — I hope you are happy. But I can't be part of it.
He steps back, once, twice, ready to leave. But he gives Taikon a moment, just to see if he'll do as Zephyr had asked. Somehow, he doubts it; he expects an argument, some grandiose claim about caring and life taking unexpected turns. It will fall on deaf ears. Zephyr is far past caring — he just wants to be done with this.
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#2
It was all a mess and Taikon knew it was a damn mess. It was nobody's fault but his own. He should have known that his affectionate nature toward Takiyok and that their close bond might grow into something else for her. He should have foreseen it and he didn't. He felt like shit for what he needed to do. He was clipping his own wings, and potentially hurting someone he cared about quite a lot in the process. He searched for Zephyr, but the silvery wraith had become an expert at avoiding him. This confused Taikon, and he wondered if perhaps he was just distracted with being home.
When Zephyr found Taikon, he unloaded everything at once. He claimed that Taikon had lied, that he wasn't a 'nice guy', that Zephyr had no interest in talking, that, essentially, he hated him. Several times, Taikon went to open his mouth and would start with a B— or a I—, but Zephyr wouldn't let him speak. Then the silvery, beautiful boy turned away, and Taikon was devastated.
WAIT! Taikon called, anger and disappointment balling up into a tangled mess within his chest. I didn't lie. Would you just listen?! He asked it loudly, his voice begging. He knew that if Zephyr had heard any of the conversation, he deserved an explanation. He didn't have the context, and he didn't understand. Taikon was trying to talk to him to right the wrong.
relatively thin from illness (Apr 13, 2020)
#3
Taikon fights it — typical. Weak. He's made his decisions, and now he cannot bear to live with the consequences.
Would you just listen?!
Zephyr stops, head turning just slightly, just enough that Taikon can see his lips move as he speaks. No, The word is not loud or emotional, but deliberate, forceful, final. He continues, icy flames lurking under his words. You didn't listen — when I warned you so many times — that I'd been hurt before, that I didn't know how to deal with feelings like that. You saw those wounds, and you dug them deeper — and now, I'm past being hurt over it. I'm done.
And with that, he turns his gaze to the path ahead, and starts to walk away.
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#4
Zephyr fed him anger. Rejection. Pain.
So Taikon fed it back. He launched himself ahead and threw his body in front of Zephyr. I did listen. I wanted to keep seeing you. He hissed it. He still wanted to keep seeing him. Even now. Even though Zephyr was being a childish piece of shit to him because he was missing context and understanding for everything. There was darkness in his words. It's like you think you're the only person in this, he shook his head and stiffened, angry. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just have a goddamn conversation about it? Why couldn't they resolve things?
relatively thin from illness (Apr 13, 2020)
#5
Unexpectedly, Taikon launches himself into Zephyr's path, stopping him in his tracks. It's not what he'd wanted — but he can't make his limbs move. He's stuck here, as if the pale wolf is meant to plague him further. Maybe he is. The thought brings bile up his throat, and he swallows, rendered speechless. His eyes sting in a familiar, much-hated way, a reaction that doesn't quite reach his heart. He doesn't know why; there is no sadness in him. He only wants to be done — he doesn't want Taikon anymore, not truly, not when the man is a poisoned prize. But he can't make himself say that. All he can do is stare, eyes wide and shining with tears that he doesn't feel, tears that will never be shed.
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#6
He heaved a sigh, feeling himself getting angry, and took a breath to calm down. He didn't want to hurt him. He still thought Zephyr was an amazing person, and had hoped to continue a friendship with him at the very least. Takiyok didn't want to share other aspects of him, and that was just how it was.
I didn't know Taki felt how she did. I didn't even know I felt it. And I feel things for you, but she wants me to be exclusive, and I have to respect that, he explained. He knew that Zephyr wouldn't take it at face value, but it was the truth. If you don't want me in your life, fine. But we could have been something awesome if you didn't just avoid everything. Taikon felt heat in his face and ears. Blood rushed to his head, and his hearing buzzed uncomfortably. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't people just talk about things?
relatively thin from illness (Apr 13, 2020)
#7
Nothing about what Taikon says makes the situation better — if anything, it makes it worse. Exclusive? Of course — it comes with the territory with children, after all. But somehow it makes the whole thing even more twisted, to know that he would have been cast aside even without that detail; Taikon doesn't even seem to intend on telling him that part. Zephyr doesn't care.

Then why am I reacting?

The thought startles him. All the physical responses are the same; his racing heart, the tears in his eyes, the tension through his body. Yet he doesn't feel any of it. He feels no need to fight, and still he goes through the motions, still.

Let it go.

The voice startles him a little, but it's comforting, in a way. He swallows, feeling the tension melt away from him, tears drying.

This is what it means to play the game.

I understand, He offers tonelessly, knowing now that this is how to achieve the end he wants. Not with brute force of will, but feigned resignation, fabricated acceptance of Taikon's continued fight against the threads of fate. I apologize. He leaves it at that, allowing the man to say anything else he might want to get out.

Well done, my child.

He knows that this is the path forward.
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#8
To be honest, the way that Zephyr reacted to Takiyok's confession that he had eavesdropped on was reason enough for Taikon to be angry. Instead, he was more disappointed. He had thought of Zephyr as a very intelligent young man, especially after their conversations on the mountain. Yet now, he behaved childishly, appearing to have no interest in taking in the information that might have made things more clear. Taikon had never meant to mislead anyone. He had always strived to be honest, but she he wouldn't accept it.
The tears Taikon saw in Zephyr's eyes broke his heart. He desperately wanted to comfort him, to tell him it was okay, and that he was beautiful.
Zephyr hardened. He was like ice. Like stone. Taikon remembered his scent. He stepped forward when Zephyr apologized, dipping his head, reaching out ever so slightly toward the boy. This is my fault, so I'm the one who should apologize. I'm sorry. I hope... I wish I could have you in my life, but I get it, he sighed. Sadness overwhelmed him. He hated that Zephyr wanted such space. I'll.. leave you alone.. he whispered slowly, turning away. Then, he found that his eyes were watering in a cruel transfer of emotion.
relatively thin from illness (Apr 13, 2020)
#9
It's clear to him that Taikon is hurt by it, that he doesn't understand why things need to be this way. It's all too complex to explain, all sensitive information that Zephyr is far too guarded to give so early on. His love, twisted and broken and half-shaded as it is, he gives freely — but trust is another story. Taikon has burned that bridge to ashes, and now he will never hear the stories behind the wounds that had drawn such a strong reaction from Zephyr. But this is for the best — the wounds are old, scarred over, and the wraith needs to learn to stop favoring them when the pain is long gone.
I'll always care for you, He offers softly to the retreating form, compelled to give some comfort in the face of Taikon's hurt. But he doesn't offer more than that; he has to protect himself, his own interests, or no one will. Taikon has Takiyok to protect him, to soothe him. Zephyr is left to find comfort in the Daedra, in the grand plan laid out before him — the only pillar of strength in his life. To all others, he is that pillar, carved of ice and stone, an unshakable guardian. And that will always be his role.

This is the will of Mephala, child. Bask in Her dark light.

He leaves, and heads for the tree that started him on this path.
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