Redhawk Caldera n e s s o

She was in love. Meeting Stratos had awoken something inside Ani. It felt a little like her stomach was full of butterflies, fairies or both. She wanted to spend every waking moment with him. She wanted to marry him. She wanted to have his babies.

But Ani knew nothing about any of these things, aside from these stirrings she had never experienced before. She walked around the caldera now in search of someone—preferably a woman, most preferably her mother—who might be knowledgeable on this subject.

Maia was thinking about winter and how different it was going to be from last year. She asked Eljay questions every chance she got, clearly nervous about it, and she was glad he was patient with her. She was so sure something was going to go wrong.

She probably would be fine, and the pack too, just like he said. Still.... she was so glad Teya hadn't stepped down. Maybe she should look at naming another Raven. Would Bronco want it, since he and Teya were a couple now?

With all of these things distracting her, she nearly didn't see Ani. Luckily she registered spotting her a minute later and smiled, pausing to let her catch up if she wished!

Mama Maia! Ani cried as soon as she spotted the Auspex ahead. Racing toward her, she hollered, Guess what! I met a boy! And I want to marry him and have his babies! She braked to a halt in Maia’s path and added a bit more breathlessly, Like they do in the fairy tales.

But she was old enough to know that life wasn’t a fairy tale. Sure, some amazing things happened—like any adventure she went on with Chickadee, for instance—but logic and reason were part of the real world. Surely she couldn’t or at least shouldn’t just run off with some boy she’d just met and expect to live happily ever after.

After catching her breath, Ani tacked on one last and significantly less exclamatory statement: I don’t know how any of this works. I was hoping we could talk about it.

Wait, babies!?. Where did she hear.... oh gosh. Maia was certainly not expecting to have to have this conversation now!! Usually her daughters had been closer to their first heat before... but. Wait. They were really almost a year old, weren't they?

Time had flown by. Maia blinked, then smiled, trying not to laugh (a bit nervously) as their daughter professed her love for a complete stranger. That's wonderful sweeetheart! But fairy tails miss a few steps, and they are kind of important ones. We can definitely talk about it. I'd love to hear about this boy.

Maia hadn't been much different than Ani when she was younger. There's been a few boys she'd met and immediately been smitten with. Illidan. Bronco. The one with the eyes whose name she'd never even gotten.. Even Charon, for a little while. She completely understood, but now she got to understand how Wraen must have felt.

Her mama’s declaration made Ani’s heart soar. Maia approved! It meant a lot to her, though the Auspex quickly voiced what Ani had suspected: there was more to the story than living happily ever after.

After assuring Ani they could discuss those details, Maia asked the girl about her crush. A great intake of breath met this inquiry, Ani sucking in a lungful of oxygen in preparation to absolutely regale her mother.

He’s so handsome, Mama Maia! He has red fur, just like a fox, and the prettiest eyes! They’re the bluest blue that ever blued! Ani cackled. He’s taller than me and kinda thin. And he’s sooooo sweet! He said I had a pretty name and he gave me a few new ones, like qupanuaq. That means ‘songbird,’ isn’t that lovely?!

He sounds handsome! Blue eyes. The boy in the cave had had those. She could still remember them, just with nostalgic fondness now.

It is. Oh boy. How did she get into this? This wasn't exactly a conversation she was prepared for but she'd try her best. I'm sure he's wonderful, and being around him is wonderful too. But when you marry someone, it's important to make sure they're one hundred percent in, just like you. That you want the same things, and feel the same way, and are on the same page with things like where you will live and what kind of family you will have. Maia smiled a little, thinking of her and Eljay and how even they didn't start off smoothly as they could have. She still wouldn't have changed a thing.

Even me and Papa Eljay had some problems with where we'd live. So it's important to talk about those things when you're older and ready to promise yourself to the right wolf. Maybe it would be this one, or maybe it would be another.

Her beaming smile melted into a studious expression as Maia moved on to the more serious side of the conversation. Ani listened astutely, nodding along. Everything Mama Maia said made sense. It also made the cogs in her mind start spinning even faster. Would Stratos be willing to come here or would he expect her to go live at his village?

Really? she asked, the mention of a problem immediately snagging her attention. Her eyes were huge. Did you… Ani could hardly conceptualize something so absurd, much say the words, yet she was so curious. Did you have a fight?

We did, actually. She shared, lowering her voice conspiratorially and exaggerating a touch. Maia knew it would come as a shock to all of their kids that she and Eljay had ever argued. It was a misunderstanding, but it was still hard. He really loved it here, but I didn’t want to leave my home either. And neither of us wanted to make the other do something they didn’t want to do.

They’d sorted it out, but not necessarily in a way she’d liked. She was glad Eljay had come to her and that they’d built a life together in Brecheliant, but she was also glad he’d been able to come back to the Caldera he loved so much. He and the rest of his family never saw each other, and she’d never gotten past the sense that part of that was her fault.

She gulped audibly at Maia’s confirmation. She was at a loss for words, though thankfully Ani didn’t need to speak right away. Her mother (for all intents and purposes) explained the situation a bit further, giving Ani the time to process the fact of a disagreement between the Blackthorns.

How did you guys sort it out? Ani asked the most crucial question of all.

It seemed Eljay had “won” in the end, considering where they lived. But how had the two of them arrived at that point? Ani still couldn’t picture the two of them arguing—had she ever heard either one of them raise their voice?—but they’d arrived at a decision one way or another.

It was hard. That had been one of the hardest decisions she’d ever had to make, actually. I wanted to stay with my sister, and I knew she wouldn’t go with me to the Caldera. I thought we would make it work, just living close, but I knew in the end I would go where he would be happy. I was really afraid he would come live with me just because I wanted him to and end up miserable.

She didn’t think it would hurt, sharing why Eljay had come. Maybe it would help Shenanigans make a decision like that someday if she ever needed to. The decision was made for us, though, in some ways. Eljay asked if he would be able to have kids if he stayed and his packmates said no. They didn’t have enough to support more, and he knew we wanted a future. So he came to Brecheliant. Maia smiled at Shenanigans. It all worked out for the best, and away from the Caldera, she’d seen Eljay grow so much. She wished he hadn’t had to leave but also had no regrets. She didn’t think he did either.

When Maia reached the conclusion to her anecdote, Ani didn’t say anything right away. She was already drawing comparisons between the Blackthorns’ situation and her own. Would Ani find herself in the exact same predicament someday, up to and including deciding between her husband and her most beloved sister?

Dozens of questions brimmed in her mind. Maia was talking about Aunt Wren, right? Did your pack mates have to agree to let you have children? When Maia said Eljay’s former pack couldn’t support more, what did that mean? Ani’s lips twisted into an uncharacteristic frown at that in particular, wondering how anyone could refuse her Papa Eljay. It was as incomprehensible as the Blackthorns arguing.

That latter thought made her think of something else. Didn’t wives usually take their husbands’ names? What had Maia’s surname been before Blackthorn? Did it matter than Ani didn’t even have her own last name, at least as far as she knew? She supposed she could ask her Babadi but she didn’t think it would feel right to wear his over Papa Eljay’s.

Finally, Ani decided on her next question, asking, You said fairy tales missed some steps. Is one of them… Ani paused, trying to think of the best way to phrase it. Do I need permission to get married and have babies? Whose permission?

These questions were way easier, thank goodness! Maia knew something about how most packs treated marriage and children, and she remembered how upset Wraen had been with Terance when he had Ibis and Okeanos. She had understood why at the time, but it was so hard to be mad when two absolutely perfect pups had been the result of it. Maia thought sadly of Ibis and wondered where her brother might be now. She hadn’t thought of him in a while.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to fall in love or get married, except of course for the person who you are marrying. She smiled bigger at that, figuring she would say the obvious just in case. But puppies are different. The whole pack has to help in taking care of them, so it’s something the pack has to be okay with and able to do. Whoever leads the pack would be the ones to say yes or no.

Maia thought about it a moment, wondering if she should worry about saying anything more. It might be better to, just in case. Sometimes mistakes happen. Some packs aren’t very forgiving of that, but here, I would never want to turn away a family that needed us. It wasn’t ideal, of course, but she wanted all of her children to know that no matter what happened, they would find a home here.

She listened raptly as Maia made the distinction between marriage and children. Only the latter required permission. The thought of being told “no” made her heart sink, especially when she remembered that that very thing had happened to Papa Eljay (and, she supposed, Mama Maia).

It had not occurred to Ani that a wolf might be told “no” only to go through with it anyway, so she blinked at the Auspex’s disclaimer. Her parents were her leaders and she would never go against their word, she liked to think. If they ever told Ani “no,” it was only because they had her best interests at heart.

This whole part of the conversation made her think about her last name again. Maia and Eljay were her parents, along with her biological ones. They were her family. Ani was lucky to have so many great parental figures in her life, though they were undoubtedly the two most important wolves to Ani, along with Chickadee, of course.

Mama Maia, can I be a Blackthorn?

fading this!

Maybe it was wrong of her, but Maia didn’t even need to think twice about it. Of course you can, sweetheart. She was as much a part of their family as any of her other children and the name was hers if she wanted it.

She liked to think that she would be big enough to accept it if the same were to happen to her own children… if they became lost and were found by another family. She knew in her heart, however, that it would hurt knowing they’d grown up knowing another mother.

It was far better than them not growing up at all.

Come on. Let’s go find Chickadee. I promised I’d take her to the river today. She nudged Ani and smiled at her enthusiasm, at how much the sisters loved one another and how much it reminded her of herself and Wraen. She was so glad that her kids could all have this - loving siblings who would support them through whatever difficulties they’d face.