Heron Lake Plateau And I am losing more each day it seems

@Quixote

Turning her back on her Person both figuratively and literally just felt wrong- so she told herself she wouldn’t ever completely turn away from Towhee. She’d been warned about visiting and potentially cast out, though she felt Towhee hadn’t meant it. Something else was going on, but Towhee clearly wasn’t ready to talk about it...Or maybe she had been, until Niamh announced that she was leaving. It was impossible to tell- but she knew in her heart that she would make it up to her friend. She would be the annoying neighbour; even the Kimmy Gibbler if she had to be that- just to prove that she wasn’t really going to be gone. This wasn’t the end.

But before she left she needed to track down Quixote. If she was going to do this, she was going to try and do things right. Fortunately, he was in the area and she sheepishly folded her ears back as she approached him. ”You probably heard some of that, didn’t you?” She asked. Towhee hadn’t exactly been subtle after all.

Yeah, it was probably kind of unsurprising he was in the area.  Basically everyone had to hear what just went down, so he was coming to investigate, confused as can be.  Towhee suddenly freaking out at Niamh didn't make much sense on its own, but combined with what was actually said, he was basically the WaitWhat emote as he inquisitively homed in on the origin of the yelling.  Okay, because it was Towhee, he sometimes had to make some educated guesses when it came to what she was saying, but he was pretty sure the increased volume made things reasonably clear.  It just sounded so bizarre he thought he'd misheard anyway.

Turned out he was approaching from the same direction Niamh was wandering, so that worked out well.  However, if she was expecting him to be all D< at her just in general principles or whatever, he wasn't.  He was just calm and confused, quite the lovely pairing of flavors.  He tipped his head to the side, Uh yeah.  What just.. happened?  Exploded?  Nuked?

Fortunately for Niamh, it seemed that Quixote was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and at least hear her out. It made her feel ashamed to have judged him as she had, and retrospect had taught her just how much patience the man had always had with her and her foolishness. Her ears turned back showing gratitude when he simply asked her to explain without demanding that she do so, so that he could understand. She had a lot she could learn from Quixote. It was too bad it’d taken her this long to see that.

She drew in a deep breath; she wanted to get this over with as quick as possible, but she owed it to Quixote to come completely clean. ”First...Though...I need to apologize to you. Man, I was an idiot,” She said, ”And you were right; I needed time to figure stuff out. I’m sorry I got all...” She shrugged and normally would have left that as her description, but she reminded herself that she was going to be an adult now. Adults could use their big person words. ”Reactive, moody, sensitive, cocky, emotional...You name it, I was it. So I need to apologize for that, first. I shouldn’t have been so impulsive in my decision-making and so disrespectful toward you afterwards. I’m...I’m working on all that; and I gotta get rid of my triggers. It’s gonna take time but I’m gonna do it. I never liked admitting that I was wrong, but I gotta do that too- and I mean it when I say it. I was wrong, and I’m sorry...And I’m grateful that you were as tolerant of my disrespectful ass as you were.” She began. It probably wasn’t what he was expecting to hear- but that was only the beginning.

It was clear to him that something bizarre had to have happened because Niamh and Towhee were previously as thick as thieves so anything that would cause that kind of row had to be major.  He didn't know she'd seen Colt or made the decision she had, so he had absolutely no idea what could have caused a wedge.  It could have been something entirely stupid.  Maybe it was Towhee's fault.  Maybe Niamh had done something crazy.  Honestly, roll a freaking dice because he hadn't heard Towhee yell like that like.. Ever.

Even weirder was the way Niamh was acting.  Like he'd thought her initial posturing is because of Towhee's verbal lashing but as she started talking he just kind of gawked at her a little.  What the hell.  After she stopped, he was silent a moment as he tried to put his thoughts together but the first thing he thought of was, Are you sure you're Niamh?

When they talked last, he'd had plenty of time to got through and think about things, to build himself a framework to speak around, but right now he was just fumbling in his typical way.  Plus there as that whiplash with how she was acting now versus before, so he was pretty off-guard, Thanks for at least uh.  Reflecting on what I said at least.  I'm sure none of it's easy at all, now or from now on.  But recognizing all that is the first step or whatever. And you should be happier with your life too, I'd think.  Quixote had his own issues.  Some, like his inability to form coherent sentences at times were probably useless to try, but Raven (and the kids, in their own subtle ways) had chipped away at some of the more problematic bits.

But I wasn't exactly expecting this quick or major of a turnaround so uh.  What happened?  Because quite obviously it wasn't his doing.  He hadn't even had a follow-up chat with her yet.  Was she dying or something? Because really, screw the yelling, Niamh had de-Niamhed herself.

To his question, even if it was just a joke, Niamh summoned a guilty and apologetic smile, which faded quickly. Yeah. She’d established Niamh as being a wreckless, impulsive airhead, so all of these confessions and apologies were well out of character. Fortunately, he seemed somewhat impressed, rather than meaning that joke to be a jab. It seemed like he was accepting her apology gracefully. 

He didn’t speak with the utmost conviction, but she nodded along anyway. He was certainly right- this was the first step toward fixing things and getting her life on a better path. 

She was slightly disheartened to hear he hadn’t expected her to apologize so soon. Apparently she’d really established herself as an unforgiving jerk- but now he wanted to know about Towhee. She sat down. This part was going to sting as well- not the part about Towhee necessarily, as Quixote likely already had her pegged as being impulsive too- but how would he react to her news about Colt? She had to come clean about it.

”Well...I found Colt...And I apologized to him; I missed him so much,” She said, and began to feel something hot burning at the back of her throat. She turned her ears back and fought against the tears that threatened to shimmer in her eyes. ”I was an idiot...And all I want is to be with him again. So we’re...He’s going to give me a chance, on the condition that I move to the Copse with him.” She said, her posture somewhat tense, as though she expected to be yelled at again. ”So when I told Towhee...She kind of...Over-reacted and kicked me out...That sound familiar to you?” She drawled. ”I wanted to pass this by both of you...I love him, and I’m going to make things work. But if...If they don’t, then I’ll give him space. But I have to try.” She said. It went without saying, of course, that she had no clue what she’d do or where she’d go if she couldn’t make up with him. But hopefully that wouldn’t happen. ”I’m sorry to leave, especially after being a pain in the ass, and after a bunch of others have already left...And I did really love living here. But...I hope you understand, I have to do this.”

herd you want an 1am post, rite?

That was not what he was expecting to hear.  Like... At all.  Then again, he probably looked like he'd been mentally smacked around through this whole thing.  It was not how he was expecting his day to go.  And so in a sense Niamh got the raw version of Quixote -- kind of wandering sentences, and unwilling to make arguments for stuff that seemed to be pretty much already decided.  He was by definition awkward, and this was one of those times.

Okay, I guess that explains a little.  But damned if Quixote didn't look confused still.  But this time it wasn't because of Niamh acting like a reasonable person, it was because Colt even gave her a chance.  From his position, Quixote had been sure that Colt wouldn't give her a chance for ages.  Why would he bother?  She needed to grow up and for the most part nobody did that virtually overnight.  But apparently that had been enough of a wake up call.  Maybe.  Time would tell.  It didn't really leave him with much to say, though.  I'm sure you realize how lucky you are to have that chance.  I hope it goes well for you both.  Just... Yeah.  I get it I guess.  Honestly, what else could he say that didn't sound totally obvious and/or condescending?  Don't screw up your life again?  It was better for him to just decide to not to say anything because it was probably going to be stupid.  But what was the point of it all?  Like there was this whole blowout and they ended up together anyway.  They could have come back.. But chose not to.  Why did it even happen in the first place? Ugh.  He was a little useless.

And he shrugged.  Towhee... I'll keep an eye on her.  She hasn't exactly been buddy-buddy with me lately, but hopefully she's just being normal-pissed and I haven't missed something major with her too.  Dealing with Niamh had burned a few bridges, but he wasn't sure if he'd completely torched them or if they just needed some repairs.  It wasn't like that was a thing he was good at either.  He already knew Towhee was just irritable in general, but had pretty much assumed that was just her nature.  Maybe it wasn't?  But then wouldn't Raven had said something?  Hell, at least she wasn't an alpha any more.  He'd just have to make sure to cut her off at the pass if something else happened.

Quixote seemed surprised, and rightfully so. He probably knew Colt better than anyone else did- aside from Finley and Niamh- so it was likely a shock that he'd even so much as deigned it a worthy cause to give her another chance, especially given the way she'd treated him. She definitely knew hos lucky she was, and nodded, sucking in a breath through gritted teeth. "Yeah. I'm....I was really surprised. And grateful." She said. She felt tired- wiped out from the travel and then from the emotional wreckage of having been yelled at by Towhee; but she felt that there was some hope at the end of it all. 

On the topic of Towhee, she sighed, relieved that Quixote would look out for her. She felt bad knowing that she couldn't be there- but it was likely best for both of them, to progress in their own lives and form new relationships. He seemed to know that something had been amiss, so Niamh decided to give him the little bit that she did know. "She didn't want the pack-split-off to happen." She said. "I'm not one hundred percent sure why, but she seemed to take it pretty personally. I think my joining to leave them was just the last straw." She said. "I hope...I mean, I know she'll forgive me someday," After all- Towhee had forgiven both Screech and Phox and brought them back into her life after they'd left her, right? "It just hurts in the meantime."

Ugh, why was Towhee getting so bent out of shape about the pack split?  It didn't really make sense to Quixote, but then again fussing over that kind of thing never did.  You wanted people to be happy -- if you kept them around and they weren't, all you'd end up with was some pissed off person wishing you were dead or something.  I can't say I have her figured out, but time should at last lessen the hurt a little.  Usually does, if only because something else has the chance to happen and seem more ominous.  Yeah, such a positive way to look at things, but at least from his experience, it seemed to be pretty common to have happen.

Either way, our packs are allies.  You know where to find us if you need something.  I dunno what that would be.  But uh.  We're around.  Shrug.  It'd be one thing if she was just heading out on her own, but the fact she was just a couple of territories away in another pack meant it wasn't really as important to say that, was it?  Whatever.  If she needed an outside opinion, maybe.  Quixote was pretty useless.

There anybody else that you need to swing by and see before you head off?

Sorry for the blech reply...Just trying to tidy up and catch up. It’s been a garbage month.

Niamh was reassured by the points Quixote made, both the sidenote on Towhee and about the relationship between the Firebirds and the Redhawks. They’d always be close, and she knew that after giving Towhee some time, she’d come around. Their relationship would have to be a bt different, she supposed, for both of them to have a life that wasn’t completely codependant on each other...But that didn’t mean they couldn’t be good friends still, and good neighbours. 

She was a bit tired and still a bit crestfallen about the way that Towhee treated her, so the thought of making more goodbyes made her feel even more downtrodden. ”I...I think I’ll see who I pass on my way but...I think maybe I’ll come back to visit soon. I suspect just about everyone heard her anyway,” She said, trying to joke but failing slightly in sincerity. ”Thanks Quixote, for understanding.” She said. It felt odd leaving knowing she’d left in better regards with Quixote than Towhee, but life was just like that sometimes.