Wapun Meadow i must become a lion hearted girl

sorry for taking so long to get this up! backdated to july 7th. slight pp at the start to get it moving, hope that's okay~

that past few nights had been fretful and she'd woken up tired but with a new found determination to set things right. the truth had been set free and yes it was an awful truth, one that still made the girl wince and sent searing bolts of shocked pain through her at the strangest times but it was hers and that she appreciated. it was a beautiful morning, the sky was powder blue and the warm air was alive with the hum of bugs and the lyrical chatter of birds. three days had passed since her talk with papa and four had passed since her outburst at lainie, she had to admit guiltily that she'd yet to locate her sister since that day but today was the time for that to change!

it was just, after realising the extent of what zephyr had done, what it truly meant to kill- she hadn't wanted to face her sister. knowing she'd witnessed that, what do you say to someone who's seen that? especially after you shouted at them, broke down in front of them and then ran away from them?? she'd settled to spending a couple of distraught days trying to cope with the reality of her sibling's crime and the guilt associated with the pain she'd caused lainie alone. she just hadn't known how to form words about the whole thing- hell her mind hadn't even been able to form thoughts regarding it for the first while. so how was she supposed to talk to anyone about it? even the thought of it had made her feel physically sick. 

but today was different, today she felt braver. she was ready to be an adult and stop being a little crybaby, she was going to find her sister and accept her offer to go look for her brothers. a restless energy had started up in her bones and the idea of spending another day hiding from life in general had suddenly lost its appeal.

and she was a child and with being a child came that miraculous ability to adapt and overcome that even adults struggled with more than their younger counterparts. inhaling deeply, the silvery girl left her makeshift den prison and went to seek her sister. 

it didn't take long to find @Lainie and after tentatively asking her would she meet her in the meadow where they'd met the other pups before in an hour or so and getting an agreement she went off to eat and clean herself up because gosh did she look bedraggled. then after that time passed she'd find herself crossing the border, excitement rolling off of her in waves at the act of stepping over this invisible but oh so important boundary for the first time by herself. there she stood, outside of the confines of her home all by herself. she felt so light, as if she could fly like the birds she loved so much. actually, she felt invincible with all this undiscovered land lying out in front of her. her pale paws buzzed at the mere thought of what lay out there waiting for her.

but for now she'd stick to what she was more familiar with and retraced the steps she'd taken with her family not too long ago. it was a bittersweet walk, associated with memories that in theory were happy but now were tinged with sadness because..helios and zephyr had been there and....zephyr hadn't killed yet. she swallows hastily, swaying slightly as one of those pain waves happen and shakes her head sharply- blinking away tears. she'd cried a lot recently. but she continued on anyway, happy to have this walk by herself to gather her thoughts before properly meeting lainie again. everything is so beautiful though and it really does help calm her down as she marvels at the wonderful things surrounding her before she reaches the meadow.

and it's...it's breathtaking. flowers of all glorious colours sway lazily in gentle breeze as equally colourful butterflies and happily buzzing bees float around their swaying heads. she inhales the amazing smells deeply and sinks back onto her haunches, awaiting her sister's arrival- tail twitching with nervous anticipation. would she be mad? she really hoped not, she was ready to make things right.

She hadn't grown past it like her sister had, instead she had simply learned to distract herself from the surges of panic that would strike at random times. When the thought snuck into her mind that she was alone and nobody had even tried to come see if she was okay, she would begin to focus on the scents around her. It developed her nose quite well and soon she could pick apart almost every scent in the territory. Unfortunately when nothing smelled new it stopped distracting her and instead she turned to the smaller creatures that scurried around their territory. She learned how to be still and stand in the direction the breeze blew to. She learned that these creatures were fast and could go up trees and that particular day she realised they tasted good too when she managed to catch one. 


Her belly was satisfied but her mind was not and for that reason she was glad Polaris had showed up and accepted the invitation she had offered before her sister freaked out and left her alone like the rest of the family. Part of her was confused as to why all of a sudden the offer sounded good to her sister and wanted to ask why she sought her out now  but the other part was simply glad that Polaris wasn't hiding from her forever. Choosing to focus on the happiness instead of the lingering hurt, she made her way toward the meadow breathing in deeply the scent of wildflowers that was heavy on the breeze.  When she spotted her sister her tail began to wag as she slowly approached, ears going back against her head as she offered her sister a nervous smile "What's going on, Po?" She asked sitting down.

she's easy to spot- her sister. the little shadow sticks out amongst the light toned colours around her and polaris straightened, swallowing nervously as lainie made her way through the flowers towards her. a weak smile curls along her mouth and her own wispy tail attempts a little wag as the girl sits. her mouth is suddenly very dry and she swallows nervously as she's asked what's up. how does she even begin? she's never felt so anxious around a sibling before but in reality it's all just down to the guilt and how she should go about handling it. it wrings around her gut everytime she recalls the moment she'd ran away from her sister, usually so strong and full of joy- broken down at all their paws. how could she be angry at her brothers if she caused her the same pain?

inhaling shakily, polaris forces herself to fix bi-eyes on her company. "i..um, i...i'm so sorry lainie!" she chews at her lip, paws shuffling subconciously in the dirt, knocking over a few unsuspecting flowers. "i was a big meanie when i ran away from you i feel so bad for doing it please believe me i....i was just being scared and weak. i couldn't handle the truth so i ran away from it...and you. i can't imagine what it was like for you to see that and i didn't want to so i was..." she grappled momentarily for the right word before letting it escape in a shameful whisper; "selfish" she looks away now, eyes dropping to little dirt speckled paws as she continues to worry at her lip nervously. would her sister forgive her? 

a moment later she simply mumbles out; "i love you so much lainie, swear...and i'm glad you told me the truth" that's all she could do right? her eyes lift once more, wide and anxious. she wants to embrace the girl but she holds off because what if she doesn't forgive her? the idea fills her with dread as she peers over, all she can do is hope what she said was enough. they needed each other, now more than ever.

At first she is a bit taken aback by the sudden apology but the flood of words hit her heart in such a good way that she could do nothing more than sit silently afterwards thinking about them in her head as her eyes filled with tears that dripped in heavy droplets onto her black fur. It was all she wanted to hear and she sniffled and stood up, flinging herself at the pale girl's fur and burying her nose into her shoulder "I'm sorry for not coming to you right away, it would've been easier to do it together. You're not weak for bein scared either. I love you too and i just want...i want to always have your back and make sure you and everyone else is safe just like papa does. It doesn't mean I think you're weak I promise" she word vomited her own messy apology and then sniffled again and pulled away offering a smile. "Wanna go explore? We can...maybe we can just take a small search for our brothers?" she suggested softly, offering it as a way to work together to get through all this instead of hiding stuff.

concern flashes briefly in mismatched eyes as her sister starts to cry and she finds herself wincing- jaw opening hurriedly to blurt something probably stupid because she hadn't meant to hurt her more! but she's saved from her growing panic at her inability to do anything right and simply emits a surprised gasp as the dark girl flings herself forward to embrace her. she stumbles backwards slightly but quickly regains her footing before the two can go tumbling into the flowers and exhales a sharp relief as she returns the gesture with a fierce amount of emotion. god in those couple days she'd missed her so much without even knowing! 

her face is buried into her sibling, inhaling her scent as eyes remain squeezed shut and only when the bundle of fur against her begins to speak does she lift her head and gaze down- ears tilted forward. her mouth turns up at the corners, eyes glittering with tears pricking at the corners as she's hit with a breathtaking rush of emotions. everything from pain to an overpowering love and a need to protect her sister is present and she has to take a moment before she can even begin to word a response.

"don't feel bad! you didn't want to upset me i get it now i was just upset over them leaving and i took my anger out on you and i feel so awful about it but you shouldn't feel bad at all you did nothing wrong! and you're great at making us all feel better but..." she thinks back to her talk with papa and how she'd suddenly decided it was okay to be sad, sometimes you had to stop fighting it and accept it as a part of life. it had as much right to be an emotion as anything else even if it wasn't exactly fun. "it's okay to not always be strong, you don't need to keep everyone happy all the time..even papa gets sad sometimes" she thinks back to coming across him staring into the creek, the way his shoulders had sagged with a private moment of weariness and how rather than upsetting her she'd found comfort in the display of humanity. 

she smiles gently at her suggestion, drawing back from her now to give them room to gather themselves up once more. "sure i'd love to explore...and we can definitely look out for them" it would definitely feel better to feel as if she were doing something to help rather than hanging around moping and she had the feeling lainie felt the same so she'd shake out her little body and inhale the warm air deeply. so many different scents; all pleasant, bombarded her and she felt her heavy heart lift a little. despite the hardships going on it was hard to stay sad in the golden hued meadow as birds sang and insects hummed across dancing flowers of all colours. she turned to her sister and nudged her lightly before murmuring; "it's beautiful isn't it?" and who knows what else lies out there...

I said PPC but here I am lol

Polaris didn't want her to feel bad and the fact that they had made up definitely made her feel less guilty but she still harbored a nagging sense of having to make up for a lot. She pulled away just as Polaris did, the wise words sinking in though she wasn't sure how she felt about them. It wasn't strength that caused her to watch what Zephyr did or to run away when Maman was screaming and crying. It wasn't strength that made her hide away, that made her afraid to seek out her sister and talk about things. The only thing that she did that was strong is to get a mentor that would teach her how to fight, how to protect herself and those around her. It was what Polaris said about Papa that made her consider the advice as truthful, maybe she just had to learn how to go to others instead of running. The thought of Papa being sad wasn't one she liked and she frowned, missing her father more than anything in the world in that moment even though she was more than capable of going to him. 


They both took a moment of silence in which she looked around at the beautiful meadow, ears twitching at the birdsong and sounds of critters sneaking around in the distance. It smelled amazing here too, sweet like flowers and ripe with prey scent though she didn't see any around. She liked this place and wondered if she would be allowed to come back more often. As Polaris spoke up again, saying she would love to go look for their sister and brother Lainie immediately jumped up her tail wagging, leaning into Polaris as she nudged her "It is beautiful...makes me wanna come back more. I love our home but it's fun to come out and see what there is" she said softly and stood up again, turning to her sister expectantly "You ready?" she asked, a flicker of nervousness creeping into her tone. What if they didn't find their siblings?