Heron Lake Plateau It’s a shame- it’s a crying shame them’s the brakes

Colt was his best friend, wasn't he? That thought made her frown, and reminded her yet again that Colt was gone, and he was gone because she'd been an idiot...At the time, it had seemed like the only thing to do; Towhee was her Person, and their beta...But he hadn't outright attacked her. Quixote was right- she'd jumped the gun, and she knew she'd been triggered by seeing another wolf go unconscious and it was enough to start turning her from being spiteful toward Quixote toward hating herself. Still, part of her felt a teensy tiny bit proud- without Colt, Quixote only had Raven, and he'd just admitted it. She knew she could- and might later realize that she should go to someone else, like Elwood, or even Tegan...She still had others in her corner to talk to. Quixote only had his mate- but at least he still had one. 

She looked up at him, with a bit of a hairy side-eye, when he gave her the option to step down. "Not my choice. I don't want to step down. I'll have a good sleep and then want to carry on as I normally do, at the borders. But..." She said, and trailed off. That hurt that Quixote had touched, when he'd mentioned her running Colt off was forcing its way into her heart still. "I...I might not be." She said, and her lip quivered. She bit it, hoping he didn't see. Stubbornly, she held her breath for a moment- she hadn't dealt with the grief of losing her mate yet. She likely wasn't going to feel up to her duties when she woke up. But like hell she was going to admit that. "Gotta...Gotta keep going." She said, but the tremble in her voice said otherwise. She needed nothing more than a sleep and a good cry. In the end, she wasn't comfortable saying that she'd stepped down, or that he'd put her down in the ranks. She simply didn't want it to be a reality, and wasn't willing to describe how it had happened. 

He released her then, and she took another few steps, swallowing the hard lump that had formed in her throat, and then stopped. "I might-" She said, and halted. She was losing ground every second. She decided not to voice her thought, in case he saw fit to investigate that point further and force an answer out of her. She didn't want him in on her knowledge, so she simply nodded. "'Night," She said, her tone indicating that she was bidding him a good night, even though it wasn't even that time of day. She was going directly back to her den, though, and would obey his orders, in terms of getting some sleep. In her mind, though, she paused on the thought that she had nearly uttered. 

I might know where to find him.