Tuktu Hinterlands Even if I knew you'd be my best and worst mistake

"When you chose to stop Towhee from attacking the Blackfeather wolf, and go after Ceara." She said. In her opinion, if he'd trusted her judgement then he might have allowed Towhee to attack Maegi. It was all in the past now, though, and she still had no idea that her point of view was both confusing and wrong. She simply wanted to make excuses even if they didn't make any sense. But when he spoke again, his words stung her in a way that made her recoil like a snake away from a flame. 

She assumed he'd said what he'd said because he wanted to hurt her- and his words implied that he was criticizing her for not searching for Ambrose. She bared her teeth, offended that he would choose to say something so cruel to her, even though it made her a hypocrite. "Are you judging me?" She said, smoldering. "I was expressly forbidden from searching for Ambrose," She informed him. "By Quixote. He would've booted me had I gone looking for him. And I couldn't leave you, either," She said, hoping that in turn, her words would inflict the same pain he'd tossed her way. She had chosen instead to stay and not search for her brother- but Colt had done the opposite. Then again, she'd literally told him to leave, but she'd more or less forgotten that point. 

Her conviction flagged, though, as soon as he mentioned their relationship. Her voice became low, speckled with the sound of desperation. "I loved you," She said. "I still do. I made the wrong decision, Colt- and I regretted it immediately." She said, but there was spite in her voice. "But you made the wrong choice too."