Stone Circle Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun

sides heave, frenetic thud of that manic heart sending chills coiling around her trembling figure in the aftermath of such a vehement outburst. 

shit.

she can't bear to look at him, fear's cold hand stroking down her spine as she glared hard at the intertwining grass. so carefree in its frivolous tango, sorta pissed her off as she herself lingered upon a threshold of full blown panic; struggling to complete a task as simple as breathing. 

what was he thinking?? oh lords what could he be thinking?? he loved her- HER! loved! and she-- she'd slapped him in the face with it. 

he just-- eyes fluttered shut as a steadying inhale is attempted, fighting againt that familiar tightening sensation in her damn throat. she couldn't cry again, wouldn't. but he just, he couldn't leave her. she couldn't be alone again, not when she'd only just begun to make peace with the ghosts and their bittersweet smiles of her shredded past. those flimsily placed band aids, it'd be like going at them with a cruel pair of scissors; reopening the wound and deepening it, stabbing and twisting- he couldn't--

she wasn't strong enough to deal with it again, teeth grit against the sting of her eyes, keep it in.

and then, such a delicate whisper-- 'i'm sorry'

her heart skips a beat, eyelids flickering to reveal the gutter of that hesitant stare- as if struggling to believe such rage could be met with such soft hands. no, she was sorry, she was- she needed to say it but, her eyes widen when she takes him in. the hunch of his figure, crying upon the earth, and she shatters. 

what the hell was she thinking, he'd been struck so hard and she'd been so selfish, always so focused on her own woes. he sobbed and she broke, lip trembling as those damn tears trecked silently down her own damp fur- yet she couldn't move, chest caving in on itself as she watched. 

 'i-i'm so sorry-'

"w-west" she exhaled, the name tumbling from nervously dried lips "sstop i didn't mean- you shouldn't be sorry you-" talk dammit! she took a step forward, halted, blinked against the blurring. vines of tightly bound trepidation seemed to be sprouting from the earth and snagging at her paws as she forced the too heavy limb to lift again- and fall uselessly upon the earth once more - dammit. 

tail swept the ground as she swallowed, and walked, right up to his dejected figure. how uncanny, to see him like this; he was so much larger than her but in this moment, in the face of this vulnerability, he seemed so small. and polaris, still trembling from the sheer force of emotion running riot throughout her body, crouched beside him and pressed herself tentatively to his side, the warmth radiating from him managing to settle some of the shivers despite anxiety induced tremors still remaining stubbornly present. 

she lingered in silence for a few more moments, staring unseeingly at the scintillating river, before whispering "west i'm..i'm sorry too. you didn't deserve that i.." paws press harder into the earth "it's not an excuse for shouting like that but i was scared i just,,,i don't know what i'd do if i lost you and perhaps it's selfish to pin that on you but it's the truth i wouldn't...i wouldn't be able to handle it, go through that again so when you said you were gonna leave i panicked and i..i'm sorry" a small hiccup, as ears slunk back against her head- heartbeat picking up again at the sentence lingering at the tip of her tongue.

the emotion she knew well she felt, knew well she returned; had suspected time and time again but had ignored for fear she was somehow fooling herself, that it couldn't be real or she was too young or whatever excuse decided to emerge that particular day. but knowing he felt the same, he loved her- how surreal was that? how could she have ruined what should have been such a happy moment? it's what made revealing this sentence now so terrifying. 

what if she was too late with it? 

"it's because, i...i love you too west tyree"