Noctisardor Bypass I can't turn back around and doubt my destination

To Laurel, friendship was some kind of weird myth. She had almost felt it, a few times here and there; with Valette, towards the end of her life. But Indra, she had always been above all else and to Indra, Laurel had been above all else. That was what she searched for and perhaps that was why she wanted to be loved by men, so that she could know, in her heart, that she was on top of the ladder; number one.

Never mind that that wasn't how love worked; it was what Laurel had fought for her whole life.

It struck at her sense of pride when he said she had begged from him. I never begged, she said pointedly, bristling. Then, she said, calming down again, What does that mean? Caring? What does it -- Get me? Get you? Get him? She shook her head. What is that to you? If not love, then what was it? And what did it entail? Clearly, not keeping her and her children safe. He had sent her away. He had let her get hurt. He had pushed her into something that she did not feel safe or comfortable in. That wasn't caring, none of it.

Taking care of her... Oh, how she longed that someone would. But it was growing clearer every day he would not -- or perhaps, could not.