Redtail Rise gigue

For time sake, slight pp and assumption, lmk if I need to adjust! All welcome, tags are for reference

Ashlar had found @Augur eventually and tried to apologize for the way things had gone with Chacal, but he was confused to find that his packmate was not upset or angry. It made him realize that he might have misunderstood and misjudged, and this gave him even more guilt, but he was grateful that the silent man seemed to have forgiven him. He would have hated for their friendship to have been ruined by such a stupid assumption on his part.

As he'd decided, the bard remained close to the Rise. He checked in on @Avicus frequently and brought her herbs she might need. He also hunted, but after the woman near the mountains, he remained closer. He still couldn't get the image of her falling from her mind, or the way her death had come despite how hard he tried.

And most nights, especially now, he stayed close to @Ratio. Having him (or anyone) near kept the sorrow at bay, but he couldn't prevent the worry that now drew his confidence low. How would he heal in a war when he could not even help her? Maybe he would have to watch them die as well, frozen and unable to do what he needed. He had said it wasn't his fault and he knew it, so why did it feel like a lie?

Ashlar poked at his stores, unhappily mired in his thoughts.

augur did not possess the qualities that made jealousy possible.

goldfinch had not chosen him. red woman had chosen several of them. blacktail remained with a man that the clawan did not yet know. he found that confusing but not worth his intervention.

with tall man gone, augur filled that role with hunting. he left food for their alpha female and did not often leave the rise.

today he found blacktail alone, and swung his head up with a loud chuff of greeting. he bumped the bard's shoulder and then snuffled loudly toward whatever the other had been doing, yellow eyes inquiring.

Heartsick was likely the best descriptor for Ashlar's current predicament. He did not only turn the girl's death over and over in his mind; he repeated his conversation with Chacal as well, wondering if there was anything he could have said or done differently. She said that she wanted him gone. If she wanted nothing from him, then perhaps she felt she was better off without. He had no right to insist otherwise.

Ashlar looked at Augur when he arrived, but he could not summon the usual happiness in the company of a packmate. His joy had always come from the easy knowledge that, no matter what, he would do the best he could to do what was right for the wolves he cared about. Now he felt that he no longer knew what that meant.


I think I messed up. But I don't know how. He admitted, quietly. He knew the other man wouldn't answer but it felt good to admit it.

augur put his head to one side. blacktail was morose. it did not fit with how the hunter had seen the bard and the sea woman play together.

he growled. it trailed into a whine of inquiry. the wolf pawed at blacktail with long limbs.

augur calmed and waited for the other to speak.

Ashlar looked at Augur when he let out a soft whine and his expression couldn't have been any easier to read. The bard felt a rush of affectionate gratitude and immediately felt better. He leaned over and gave Augur's chin a brush with his nose, shyly, feeling like the gesture was right. He was grateful to have a friend so willing to listen.

Thank you. It's just... I d... I don't know. I like her and I miss our time. But she... umm, she said no. I like Ratio too and she wanted me to choose. Ashlar explained quietly. He found that the words were difficult to come by. I think... I don't think she wanted me here. She wanted me there. I can't leave. Avicus meant too much to him and he'd given her his word. He had thought, earlier this year, that if he was a father nothing could change his path. He would raise them like his baba raised him. Apparently he had been mistaken.

It should have been you. He added, close to tears now. If she.... if there's puppies. I don't know what to do. He pressed his muzzle into his paws. He never should have pretended like that. He should have known, and told her, from the start. Now his mistake had hurt all of them.

blacktail said many things. only a few were understood.

but augur grasped the crux of the matter. he had mated with the seawolf. but he would not leave the rise. 

perhaps blacktail's young grew in her belly now.

the clawan only possessed one leader and it was red woman. he had tied himself to the redtail pack through his loyalty to her and any progeny, whether or not they carried his genetics.

augur chuffed. he bumped his head against that of the other wolf, keeping close and offering his great bulk as a lighthouse through the weeping.

Augur's presence helped more than the other wolf might realize. Ashlar had wondered for a long time how well he truly fit in the Rise. Avicus made it clear that he was valued so long as he was Hæland, but to the rest of them he felt like he was constantly running behind. They were strong and somewhat unknowable. But Augur remained close and let him bury his face in his fur without comment (of course) or judgement (more surprising). When he calmed down enough to realize this, Ashlar warmed all the way through with even more adamant affection for his silent packmate.

Thank you. He said quietly, getting ahold of himself. The bard should make him a song, maybe. Something without words, but one that captured the playful and fierce nature of when he moved. He was like a storm, but the kind that came in early summer, with beauty but little danger. He was warm.

She's my family, but so are you. He added, looking at the man with sheer gratitude. It didn't make the decision easy but it did help to ease his current dilemma. He needed to do what he could for this family while he was here. And once Avicus' pups were born, he needed to tell her. First, he would need to find out what was true. When would she know? Would she want to tell him?

So many questions. Ashlar shuddered, then stood. Can we... I need to run. Do you want to? He would see her later and answer them. Right now worrying wouldn't get him anything.

blacktail's tears ended. augur could only sense the misery of his packmate. he pushed his broad head forward, seeking to lick the other's cheeks if he was allowed.

family.

augur rumbled his name, a long low set of notes. and then he growled those of blacktail. they were both of this land.

run.

the hunter's posture became loose. he took a playful step away from blacktail and then another. his ears lifted. he waited to go where he was led, anticipating the speed that they would both gain.

The silent one didn't speak but Ashlar heard his confirmation in the notes. He blinked gratefully, then breathed and found a smile as Augur hopped and stepped away.

He would stay away from the burned hollow and the sheltered areas where Avicus might be. He wasn't ready to go to her yet, but he would soon. Instead he took off at a sprint towards the flat lands that bordered the foot of the rise, a place where he and Augur could stretch out and run as fast as reality allowed.

As they ran, though, Ashlar silently kept track of Augur's position and never sought to leave him behind. He didn't want this to be a race - the last thing he wanted was to be alone.

fade and have another? <3

blacktail coursed away. augur widened his stride and kept pace. they were headed for the foothills.

it did not feel like racing. he did not sense competition.

and so he swerved closer after a moment, reaching out his large head to run his teeth through fur on the other's shoulder. a chuff accompanied the gesture. augur wanted to see if lightness would touch his companion.

Ashlar nipped back and skipped, smiling as they continued their run and he let himself forget. With Augur it was easy to let his worries slide off and allow the other man's consistent, calm presence bring peace.

He enjoyed it until time passed and, at length, they returned to other things. But even for a while after he felt better; both lighter and less alone with his troubled thoughts.