Noctisardor Bypass [m] can you shatter my mirror to see outside myself

; -; <3

As he stepped back Laurel instantly stepped forward, as though afraid to make him leave again. She wanted him to stay more than anything else in the world, wanted, needed... She needed him. She wanted to be there for him, with him, and it tore her heart apart. Once more she realised she had wedged herself into a position where a man loved someone else. Now, all she saw when she looked at him was pity. A pity that she had tried so hard to avoid. Laurel prided herself in the ability to manipulate men, but when was really the last time she had done that? It was well before she was a mother. And Mahler - she did not want to manipulate him.

She wanted a quiet life with him. A life where they could both forget about the past and just... Live.

But it seemed that his ghosts had not been left behind. And she could not tell him of her feelings, for he would place this Wylla above them every time.

But she also could not leave. She knew she'd resent him for the rest of their lives if she let him send her away to another man. He said he could not, even though she knew he was a liar for it. He did not want. That was something entirely different.

Such things are an act of love. It pierced right through her heart, like a dagger violently plunged in and twisted, twisted, twisted until the hilt fell off. Just another dagger in unloveable Laurel's heart. The world would never cry for her.

She did not even notice when he said he couldn't do it to the children. Laurel felt the overwhelming urge to attack him, to drive him away, to make sure that he would be gone from her life forever.

Mating was an act of love, so you see, he could never do that with her.

I don't want that either, she murmured, words so quiet they were lost mostly on the winds, even despite their closeness; words she didn't really want him to hear.

Don't worry, I get it, Laurel said then, her voice sharp and her eyes shining with indignation. No man has ever loved me, so what a fool I was to think that anything would ever really change. This ridiculous utopia of living a happy life is nothing but a stupid dream. Her face scrunched up ugly with emotion as she shot her own daggers, much less gentle than his. It felt to Laurel as if the dance had ended as soon as she bared her soul; another lesson that such things should never happen. Yet, they were still in a holding pattern where he did not want to do it, yet the right of leaving Rivenwood to find sex elsewhere was Laurel's worst fear. But Indra...

He could not, must not - and she must.

Yet she knew she would always resent him for it. The first months of Rivenwood now felt like a fleeting dream which now had their shine violently ripped away. It was all just fake. Just words. Just nothing, in the end, like everything in this world.

She just wanted to be loved. She just wanted to be someone to someone.

Already Laurel regretted saying what she said. All of it. Suggesting it meant nothing -- it did, would -- and saying that she understood and that that was just her life. She didn't want his pity, that was the whole point. She just wanted to trust someone again, because she really couldn't go on like this.

I hope you will be very happy together. Words spat out, fuelled by her emotions. I guess at least one of us gets the quiet life we wanted. It's good to know you're just like everybody else, willing to throw the rest of us to the vultures for your own desires. It was clear from the way he eyes shone and the way she clenched her jaw that she was hurting and that get words were fuelled by her anger and hurt. Laurel then resolutely turned around, away from him.

She clenched her jaw. Her entire body was stiff. She knew she could not keep her tears in much longer, wouldn't be able to stop them if he would follow her, but somehow she knew he wouldn't.

Even when she had not been in heat, she had asked him to escort her to Larksong grotto. Now he sent her alone towards a man she did not know. His true colours were starting to show, Laurel thought bitterly to herself. But at least you'll always have me, dearest. A choked sob, held back as she walked away, leaving to cry alone if he did nothing.