Bearclaw Valley If I was born a blackthorn tree

set for a couple days after they returned from the raid
lmk if any of my assumptionsare incorrect <3

Arielle limped into their den. Their den. Thinking about things as theirs never failed to make her heart race, though the last few days had tainted that feeling a little. She was worried about @Aventus. Her logical, healer side told her that he should be fine with proper care, but it was hard to remember that when she saw his tattered face and watched his struggled breathing. 

She placed her bundle of plants down beside him and slowly sat down on her non-injured hip, wincing a little when the movement jostled her injured leg. Aves? she said softly. She didn't want to wake him if he had managed to fall asleep. She didn't mind waiting here until he woke up if that was the case.

Breathing was agonizing and deep sleep felt impossible. Aventus spent his days in an exhausted fog following the raid. Arielle did what she could, but this sort of injury could only be healed with time. Somehow it felt worse than it had when he was younger despite being less severe. He could not explain that.

His ears twitched upright when Arielle entered, but for the time being, he kept his eyes closed. He knew she wanted him to get proper rest. When she said his name, he peeled back his eyelids and peered up at her just in time to catch her wince. It sent a sharp pang through his chest that was worse still than the pain in his side.

He did not move, but let his breath out in a slow whoosh. He hadn't sorted out his anger from his worry yet. There was no need for her to have been hurt like this, but if she hadn't fought with him, his death would have been assured. How could he be angry with her when she might be the reason he was still alive? Yet he was. He had never wanted her to be hurt like that, and their victory in snatching Indra did little to temper that.

Are you okay? he asked first, voice gravelly in his throat.

He asked if she was okay, and her chest tightened. He was far worse off than she was, and his first words were to ask about her; it made his amount of pain even more unbearable for her. 

I'm fine, she assured him. Her leg was swollen and painful and the wound on her neck still throbbed but is was nothing compared to what the bruin-jaw suffered from, or the bear king for that matter. 

I need to clean your wounds and apply a new poultice, she explained. And I have more stuff for your pain. She wished she had something better for his pain, honestly, but the winter meant her selection of plants was limited. 

She picked up the wet moss she had collected this morning and gingerly scooted as close as possible so that she could start cleaning the wounds on his face. How is your pain? She asked as she worked. She hoped he would be honest with her.

He nodded against his forepaws and swallowed thickly, anticipating the pain. Aventus was not like Merrick. He had not yet mastered pain. The Bruin-witch used pain to silence fear and transcend it, but Aventus was weak. He could not embrace his pain. He avoided it just like any other wolf.

He knew what Arielle was about to do would hurt. The wounds on his face were deep and raw, and his shoulder was in even worse shape. Somehow he knew the ear would be the fiercest agony. Her warmth against his side was only a small comfort when she began to mop up the dried blood, drawing a hiss of pain.

Not so bad, he said through gritted teeth. It was a lie. How was it that this same injury, but even worse, had hurt so much less when he was a child? Aventus did not understand the aureate quality of memory, how some things disappeared and others became more poignant. The pain he had long forgotten. Three out of ten, he said, but the telling sheen in his eyes said it was more like a six or seven.

But he was not honest with her. The healer could see in his face that what he was feeling didn't match what he told her he felt. She sighed a little. You don't have to hide your pain from me, she told him gently. Why did he think this? Was it a man thing to pretend you were not in pain? She left the moss to soak on his ear, afraid that any wiping motion would pull the friable, tattered edges of what was left. When she was sure it would stay, Arielle lowered her head to pick up a piece of bark; she placed it near the briun-jaw's front paws. This will help. I don't have anything better. Guilt created lines of stress in her face. I'm sorry. She hated watching his suffering. 

She also knew Aves was keeping something else from her, though she wasn't quite sure what it was. There was a tension when it was just the two of them, like he was upset with her. But he hadn't been in the shape for much conversation, and she wouldn't push him while he was in so much pain.

Arielle was right, but it was not only her he sought to hide his pain from. He sought to hide it from his father and from the bear both. The bear most of all. Ursus had succeeded in their raid on Rivenwood as much as they could succeed. Only Laurel's death could have made their victory sweeter. Yet Aventus harbored some misgivings, some doubts that holding the children prisoner was wise for them, but he did not think their bear god would approve of his questioning.

It's okay. Aventus did not really want to get into it with Arielle even though it was the most pressing issue between them at the moment, so he prattled instead: father says we must master pain to master fear and death. I cannot let it hinder me. Maybe one day he would be able to use pain to mask fear as well, like Merrick did so well.

Mastering fear was something Arielle still struggled with. She never feared for herself, only for those she cared for most. The thought of losing Aves or Merrick made her heart race and panic pool in her stomach. She did everything for the bear or with the bear in mind, but this one thing was hard to let go of. She wasn't sure she could ever conquer that particular fear and she worried the bear would find some way to punish her for it. 

She drew in a deep breath and pushed the thoughts away; they were not helpful. I think mastering fear is very difficult, she told him. She trusted him in a way she trusted no one else; she knew he would not hold these words against her. Merrick has suffered a great deal; I think that is why he is so immune to being afraid. And losing Astara had likely left him with not much to fear anyway. 

Arielle placed the moss down, her expression solemn. She reached over and picked up two different plants and began to chew them. She began to carefully place them on each of his wounds, trying her best not to cause more pain than was necessary.

Arielle was right. Merrick had suffered so much loss in his life, it was a marvel he went on living himself. Maybe that was the condition for conquering fear. If so, Aventus didn’t know if he wanted to. Losing his mother still hurt. He couldn’t imagine losing Merrick or Arielle, or even Avicus, wherever she was.

That line of thought brought him back to the raid. Arielle smoothed her poultice over his wounds, setting his teeth on edge, but not only because of her ministrations. Why would you endanger yourself like that? he asked at long last, rolling his silver eyes up to see her face.

She tried to be as delicate as possible as she treated his wounds, but there was only so much pain she could prevent; that didn't stop the stab of guilt in her stomach. She was supposed master pain and not feel so awful witnessing her mate's pain but that was another thing she wasn't sure she could do. It was another way she was likely failing the bear. The worst part was that when it came to Aves, she would take whatever punishment was coming if meant he was safe here with her. 

She pulled back as he spoke, finally finished with his wounds. His question made her frown. Because I have not conquered fear as Merrick has, and I could not leave you there by yourself and risk you being killed. Was this the reason for the tension? She should have known. I can't lose you, and I will do whatever it takes to keep you with me, she continued, resolve on her face. I am not sorry for that. She swallowed the panic that had risen in her throat at the memory of him flying through the air and crying out when he hit the ground. She had worried he was dead then and she never wanted to feel that way again. He promised he wouldn't leave her.

It was the selfsame reason Aventus would have given, for in Arielle's shoes, he would have done the same thing. He would never let her fight that behemoth of a wolf alone. If he was a little more self-aware, he might realize the hypocrisy behind his frustration. Both of them were so concerned with the other getting hurt that they thought nothing of their own wellbeing. Instead, he sighed, exasperated.

You got hurt, he pointed out, knowing she did not care. She had made that clear already. That is not what I wanted. I wanted you safe. Next time, perhaps he would forbid her from coming along. She would fight it, but it was for the best. Could she not see that he was afraid to lose her, too? He had already lost his mother. His sister had left Ursus long ago. Arielle was all Aventus had besides his father, and Merrick had a death wish all his own. Aventus could not count on the one-eyed dragon to stay alive.

So it was her. Only her.

Her indignation quickly fell away; Aves had that effect on her. Specifically, his pain had that effect on her. He didn't have to say where his anger came from for her to know it in her heart because it came from his fear of losing her just as her actions had come from her fear of losing him. She closed her eyes and sighed, her face softening. 

She gently touched her forehead to his; there wasn't much affection she could offer him in his current condition. I know, she told him softly. She wished she could make him see it from her side, but she knew he was too stubborn. I am sorry that I scared you, she admitted softly. She would not regret her decision, no matter how much she felt for her husband, but the bruin-heart did not take any joy in upsetting him so much.

He let out a slow breath when Arielle bent her forehead to his. It would take a little longer for his anger to fully ebb, but he hoped next time she would consider her own safety above his. There was no grudge. He could never hold anything permanently against her even if he wanted to. That, perhaps, was his mark of love in a world where he did not know how to feel it or express it.

I do not think keeping those children here is wise, he said, changing the subject to the imprisoned Indra and Abel. It helped keep his mind off his pain, which had lessened with Arielle's attention. Merrick had plans for the cubs and the Bruin-jaw played along like the dutiful son he was, but he worried that their prolonged stay would spell doom for all of Ursus. This was not something he would admit to just anyone, but he trusted Arielle with his secret thoughts. Not the most secret of them — he trusted no one with that — but he wanted to hear her thoughts.

He did not think his father was capable of thinking objectively about it and wondered how she felt.

He seemed to accept her apology. But she knew he would never accept her need to put his life above her own, and so it would always be something they didn't agree on. He would value her life more than his and she would do the opposite. Arielle settled down beside the bruin-jaw, careful not to touch his ribs, though she wished she could push her body against his. 

Aves changed the subject to the children they had kidnapped from rivenwood. Perhaps it was a testament to her dedication to the bear, but she had never stopped to consider what the children being here might mean for them. She understood her husband's worry, though. They were recovering from the raid and would be for some time; another attack right now might mean disaster for them. For some reason, possibly the bear speaking to her in some invisible way like it liked to do, she didn't anticipate any issues. Still, she wouldn't downplay his worry. I think that we left rivenwood in worse condition than we are, she pointed out. So if they do come to try and take back their children, I don't think it will be any time soon. In other words, they would be prepared. 

Merrick is committed to his plan for them. I don't think there is much we can do about it except try and turn them to our side. At least then they would hopefully fight on the side of the bear.

Even when he believed she was wrong, Aventus couldn't help appreciating Arielle's honesty. He felt her warmth beside him and leaned ever-so-gently into her, doing his best to ignore the burning in his side. He believed their success at Rivenwood hinged entirely on the element of surprise. Rescuing the children could be a strong motivating force for Rivenwood to regroup and launch their own attack, and Ursus was in no shape to defend.

If it was up to the Bruin-jaw, the children would draw breath no longer. Better to slay them now when it would take the wind right out of Rivenwood's sails than to wait for the day when they would need to test Merrick's conditioning. He wanted to tell her all this, but kept his thoughts to himself, as he would have if she was Merrick or Astara. The truth of him was at odds with Ursus. Nobody could ever know it.

You are right, he sighed. At least about that last bit, she was. Merrick would not be deterred. He turned tired, heavy eyes upon her. I hope that it is worth it.

So do I, she agreed softly. She had complete faith in the bear, but that didn't mean things would go as planned. She knew indirectly how cruel the bear could be. She knew she would feel the spirit's wrath at some point when it realized who was actually first in her heart. 

He was tired; the healer could see it in every line of his face. You should rest, Arielle told him. I will stay here with you. She was still shell-shocked from the fight and thinking she might lose him, so it was hard to stay away for long. For now, she had no obligations to pull her from the den, so she would nap with him, grateful for this moment she may not have had.

figured we could fade this one too <3

He wished he could have as much faith as Arielle did, but Aventus knew the bear. He knew it better than he wished to, and he doubted very much its hunger for blood would be sated by brainwashing two outsider pups into obedience.

Aventus had been wrong before. He hoped he was now.

Dropping his chin down between his paws, Aventus let his eyes flutter closed. It would be a long time before sleep found him, but even wide awake, he took solace in Arielle’s warmth beside him.