Ouroboros Spine Nix

It was a beautiful, crisp morning in late December with sun peeking through the clouds down at the little village in the mountains. Usually light in winter was cold, but - perhaps - the solstice had brought a slight change in the weather patterns. Whatever the reason, Kau enjoyed the warmth so much so that even her perpetual frown had eased to something akin to contentment. Having trees and and mountain range to block the view of her surrounding was still something she could not get used to, but these same obstacles protected her from harsh winds. It was a noticable change for the better compared to the autumn and early winter in the lands of the Walrus hunters.

She hobbled through the forest area of the terrritory that Moonglow claimed as its own, stopping here and there to read the messages left both by the villagers and other creatures that had passed through during the night. Where it was particularly interesting, she squatted to leave a comment too and then she moved on. Sound of hooves and a scent of fermenting grass caught her attention and after walking up a small hillock she came to see a small group of elk, some of which were resting, the others were digging form the grass in the snow. Kausiut sat down to watch them quietly.

Kausiut had been a grumpy little thing during her first visit to the coast. The travel out of the mountains of their home and through the large fields and meadows had been hard on her. Still, she had ended up leaving the pack to join the walrus hunters of Kukutux extended family. Aiolos hoped that maybe she had found the same love for the coast he had. 

The length of her visit was unknown to him, though he wasted no time in catching up with her. After all, Huojin had left him once before too, but it had been very long and he had not returned. Aiolos was thankful Kausiut had. 

Its so good to see you again... Of course the day she returned he saw her, though this would be their first one on one. Aiolos was a reclusive man and his daughter seemed to take some of that personality within her. But she need not speak much. He was happy to settle at her side and watch the elk too.

After staying with walrus hunters Kausiut did not hold men in particularly high regard. They were useful - yes, but the group she had stayed with had instilled a sense of superiority towards the opposite sex. Save for one individual - her father. He had left a lasting impression on her, though much of the memories from her childhood had already been forgotten. She had seen him briefly after Kukutux had accompanied her from the borders, but had not exchanged more than a nod of acknowledgment and respect.

Kausiut was a complex personality, the makings of her mind were hard to understand and quite often she herself did not have the full grasp of, what exactly she felt or how to act. Social situations, while a necessity at this age, were still difficult and awkward to them. Therefore, when Aiolos came and after greeting her sat down to observe the elk in silence, she felt more at ease. He did not expect anything from her and therefore her usual dislike for having people in her sphere of personal space was not triggered. She was free to speak in her own time.

Which she eventually wanted to do, but did not know, what to say. So she turned her head to eye him with curiousity and expectation. As if she willed him to say something again.

Aiolos would have been shocked (or would he have really??) to know that his daughter's time with the walrus hunters had instilled in her a distaste for men. That she was superior to the opposite sex. After all, it was the life in which Aiolos had been brought into at a young age as a war prize and into slavery. 

Now, he was a man who had come to have multiple wives, where otherwise he would have not the right to any. And he had many beautiful daughters, who knew and loved him as father, as opposed to being some donor who had won the ability to be picked for breeding that year. 

Kausiut is silent, but she looks to him expectantly. So he speaks again. After spending most of my life on the coast, with mostly open land... living here was quite the transition. Mountains all around. Protecting and yet, constricting. He pauses, looking back to his daughter. Was the coast at first to you, very exposing, unsettling?

Had it felt different to live out in the open on the coasts? Kausiut could not quite pinpoint the feeling. Murre had been there to support, guide and help her, therefore transition had been easy. It turned out that it mattered less, where you were, as long as a good friend was with you. After her passing - the coasts had no longer felt like home.

Therefore she shook her head in response to his first inquiry.

Father noted his own challenge on adapting to the life in Moonglow and a flash of understanding appeared in her golden gaze. "Not. See," she said beckoning to the trees and the mountains around her. While she missed her friend more than the barren landscape of the coast, she did find the inability to survey the whole area around her unsettling.

She shook her head 'no', that the transition had not been hard on her. While Aiolos had been born in the Black Bayou, the change had been refreshing for him. The land that opened up into the coast was open, freeing, fresh, despite being captured into slavery. Though he belonged to the Nereides, he still belonged somewhere, which was more then he could have ever had as a basterd of the Bayou. 

Now, with what Aiolos had, he was grateful for it each and every day. Even though he was not on the coast anymore, this place had his family and that for him was home in itself, no matter the place. A same silent feeling which the pair here shared. 

Aiolos nods to her words, quiet a while and then, I'd like you to see the plateau, northwest beyond the Weald. Your sister and I have gone past but, not on top. The land is open and the ocean sweeps cold winds over it. It's no mountain, but still on top you can see view of all around.

Aiolos promised to take Kausiut somewhere and, while she did not get all the details of, what it was and where, she nodded in agreement. Most of the time she had no issues on focusing and understanding, what others told her. But then there were moments, when her mind drifted or she was simply tired, and then the speech that had been clear and concise became a string of sounds that made no sense.

He had mentioned a mountain - a topic that Kausiut had something to share. She lifted her crippled paw and told: "Pain." The reason, why she did not traverse higher grounds was that the uneven distribution of weight and physical exertion put strain on her whole body. In that sense being by the shores had been easier.

Yes. He agreed and nodded along with it, when she lifted her paw to remind him of the crippled paw which held her back when it came to traveling certain places. It would be. But you made it all the way to the walrus hunter's land and back here. Aiolos reminded his daughter that, despite the crippling, despite the pain, she overcome it time and time again. 

Then, Your sister seems to love the coast too. I wonder if she might make a home for herself there one day. And maybe Kausiut would enjoy being there with her. He could imagine how the sand was easier on her. Her crippled foot could sink into the earth and mold with it instead of meeting the resistance of solid ground.

Kau furrowed her brow. Her father in his well-meant encouragement seemed to have missed an important detail. Just because she had walked great distances before, did not mean that her paw hurt any less. She had stated a fact that it was painful even now and that any enthusiasm for a journey would be marred by this fact. She knew exactly, how it would go - the irritation, anger and bitter jealousy to those, who could move with more ease and quicker than her. She knew that, if she reached that destination he had mentioned, she would not feel happy at all.

There was no way to tell him this in so many details. Therefore she remained silent, until another topic she wanted to talk about surfaced. "Samani. Go?" she asked, recalling that her elder sister had left too.

Finally can get back to normally now that January is over. Sorry for the wait!

There was a silence for a time again. Aiolos did not know the bitterness and anger which still weald in the heart of his daughter. She had much of it in her youth by the making of her crippled paw. It plagued her still. Aiolos did his best to try to understand her, though had known he did not have the same capability his mate had. 

She spoke of Samani then and he nodded slowly. Only for a brief time. Callyope has gone to walk a spiritual path too and Stratos runs the open land to venture. But they never strayed far and now without fair warning and prior knowledge of the pack, too. Not as some others who had disappeared on them.

Samani was here as well, which should not have surprised Kau much, because she had met Rodyn before seeing her father. Still - others had gone. She found that her younger sister's name was more difficult to keep in mind than the brother's. Stratos. Short and easy. Good thing neither were present - she would not have to remember these names for too long.

"You," she waved at him with her forepaw. "Good?" she asked.

Having left for a time, it was likely Kausiut did not have the connection with her three younger siblings which Samani did. She was here though now and could make up for lost time when they returned, perhaps. 

He nods then to her question, a small smile creeping over his features. Very much. He was a lucky man. A lucky father and husband and leader. He never imagined life to be this way and it was all thanks to one woman- @Kukutux. 

You? He asks then. Will you stay or are you visiting only? He didn't know if she planned to return to the walrus hunters.

Kausiut realized that it had not been necessary to ask that question, because she could read it in her father's features. He looked happy and content with, what life and gods had given him. Asked the same question herself, she had to think about it thoroughly. Unhappiness was an umbrella term to the myriad of nuanced emotional states. Kau had been discontent. She experienced frustration on daily basis. She had felt empty of any emotions. She had felt satisfied with a hunt. Or excited. If one compares one's state of their mind to a Celsius thermometer then Kau's life was a stable 0 with fluctuations to either -5 or +5, nothing of extreme.

"Tired," she responded with a word that in her opinion said it all. No, she was not going to leave anytime soon not least because it was winter, but also chances of survival for her without the village's support were close to non-existant. Coming here had been hard enough.

Tired. This was the only response he got back from his eldest daughter, twin of the first litter. It was enough. Enough to know she wasn't going anywhere. At least, not anytime soon. 

He sighs out a deep breath, as though a relief came over him. Aiilos tilts his head up to the crisp morning sky. 

You stay as long as you like. He was happy for it. At least one of his children was happy being home, with her parents. He was proud of those who had begun to make families of their own. Had explored the lands beyond and found ties with their allies... but it was nice having a child that was also wanting to stay. 

Not all of you need to go running off so quickly. He teased, a smile on his features as he kisses his daughter's temple.

Kausiut was not the kind of person to feel indebted to anyone or to feel bad being a burden to other people. She acknowledged the fact, of course, acted accordingly (stayed out of trouble and kept a low profile), but you would never force her to feel inclined to repay or even seek reassurement that she indeed was welcome to stay. And that no one expected anything from her.

Yet - it was nice to hear it from her father as well. She licked her lips, when he reached to touch her, a sign of mild discontent with the closeness, but she tolerated the brief moment and then turned to look Aiolos in the eyes. He was not lying or saying it out of sympathy. He meant it. For now. That would be enough for her.

"You. Siblings?" she asked out of the blue, wondering, whether her father had any brothers or sisters.

She tolerated his touch, even if her expression revealed her lack of care for it. It was enough to know she was willing to accept her father's affections even though she did not care for them. She was not as easily pleased or happy to be around family as her other siblings. 

No. He could have left it at that, but chose to be more revealing. Truthful, but Aiolos did not tell his whole story. I was an only pup and never met my father. A basterd. But the term may have been unheard of from his daughter's ears. I was still young when the Battle of Blackwater happened. Our pack dispursed and I did not see my mother again. For all he knew, she had died in the war that ended their pack. Good riddance, even if it meant years of slavery there after. Aiolos would not tell this either.

Aiolos would have been a very poor choice as a mate for @Kukutux in her world. He held no rank. No prominent family name. He was born a basterd and raised a slave. He barely knew how to hunt herds until he met Kigipigak, which was prominent among the northerners. 

He wanted Kausiut to know even if she did not always meet eye-to-eye with her family, she was very lucky to have them all and grow up as she had. All of them were. Even Aiolos, now.

Just because your kid does not respond the same way to conventional expressions of affection, does not mean that they have no connection to you whatsoever. If Walrus Hunters had provided her with an environment that she found easy to fit and live in, then Moonglow gave her sense of belonging and safety that she had not had there. This terrain felt uncomfortable to her as dress that looks good on you, but still does not feel right. But people made her stay. Equal parts of calculated pragmatism and need to have at least some sort of connection.

Kausiut valued this in her own particular way without showing this to others. "Blackwater..." she repeated slowly the unknown combination of two words. Black and water. "Village?" she asked, wondering, if that was another name for a village like theirs here.

A reference, He began to explain to his daughter. It was good speaking this much with her, after not seeing her for quite some time. It was funny how things worked. They were born here surrounded by beautiful mountains, forestry and a great lake though more and more often did his children find themselves drawn to the coast. It was as though their bodies yearned for it, as his own did. 

For the place that was called Black Bayou. It was a wet and dark land, not far inland from the coast. This is where I was born. It was a 'village', yes, but we did not use this word for our home there.

So, her father too had lived in a place that had not made him happy. He did not say it out loud, but Kausiut thought she could sense it in his tone. Unfortunately she was unable to express the whole complexity of her feelings towards Moonspear with the vocabulary she had, though in the long look she gave Aiolos, it was evident that she understood, what he was saying.

"Bad?" she asked and added after a pause. "Village?"

He could see that understanding there, in her eyes. Aiolos did not particularly like it. While he wanted his children to be aware of what they could run into outside their mountain walls, Aiolos never wanted anything bad to happen to them in order to be made aware. 

Hopefully her understanding was from her knowledge only of the outside world and that was a part of the reason why she had come home, because it was sade, loving, secure. Not because she had faced off horrible things outside of home as Aiolos had in his youth within his home and from out. 

Yes, He said then, Very bad. And after a heavy sigh, Aiolos fell silent, falling content in that once more.

There was very little left to say afterwards - Kausiut was tired and therefore she got to her feet and stretched. "Sleep," she told her father, inbetween two yawns. It had been a long day for her. After bidding him a good-night - she left.