Broken Antler Fen I filled your cup until it overflowed

Hunting was out of the question considering Ibis would not let @Lilitu go far from her eye-line, let alone sneak around a half-frozen landscape that could cause her harm.

Rather than take the girl out hunting to keep her fed, Ibis sought out one of the freshest caches built near to their rendezvous.

It took some digging — the ground was frozen solid after all — but eventually Ibis extracted a rigid hare body from the small pit and quickly about-faced to seek out her daughter.

As she neared the entrance to their hideaway Ibis' stomach lurched, unable to spot the silver star immediately.

<3

Maia had been distracted of late, tied up in thoughts of the future, excitement for the founding of this new home, and nervous about where she might land in the end.  She spent a lot of her time with Wraen as the snow fell, but now that the chill was abating and the blizzard waning, she was beginning to look towards exploring the surrounding areas once more.  Or at least, considering it.

Hey!  She spotted Ibis as she was crossing to nab a drink, just digging up a hare.  She didn't notice the woman's alarm at first and her greeting was warm and friendly.  She wasn't sure if Ibis had time for a chat, but if she did, Maia was game!  It had been a while since she'd actually spent any time with her, and a lot had happened (that Maia hadn't... actually... shared?  I dont' think?  She'll remember eventually).

Besides, chances were, if Ibis was here then her daughters weren't far off.

Hey! Shouted a voice from behind her. Ibis had thrown down the hare and hastily inserted her head and shoulders in to the den to look for Lilitu, but she couldn't ignore the boom of that voice, and soon extracted herself.

A fervent gleam caught in her eye as Ibis looked around, seeing Maia's approaching figure (as it was difficult to miss, being quite large compared to herself) but her attention passed her over.

Lilitu, come here please. I know you're around here somewhere, Ibis called across the fen, eyeing a copse of frosty trees a little ways away. Don't make me come and find you!

While she waited to hear her daughter's voice, or see her come bounding over in the snow, Ibis looked to Maia and finally sighed, Hello. Maia, right?

When she was ignored for a second, Maia felt herself internally shrink a bit.  She figured that Ibis didn't mean anything by it, but she was suddenly horribly worried she was bothering her.  Especially because she was looking for her daughter.  Maia read the sigh as annoyance and couldn't help but expound that feeling a little.

Oh, uh, yeah.  She replied a little awkwardly, shifting on her paws in a manner that was completely without thought.  I.. if you're busy, I can go?  Unless you maybe want help?  She didn't want to force herself onto company!  She hadn't seen Lilitu super recently, but she knew that the girl had to be around.

Ibis sighs, not having realized how off-putting her behavior could be, not until she notices Maia's expression and hears her offer to depart. The mother shakes her head. No, no, it's alright. The sigh leaves her feeling deflated rather than relaxed. She doesn't know how to relax anymore, keeping a hawkish eye upon her remaining daughter.

We have sent word to surrounding packs. Akavir is out there somewhere too, hunting. It is only a matter of time before she is found. Ibis recites this mechanically, as it is something she tells herself often enough in her mind. I am sorry to be so distracted. It is kind of you to offer, Maia. Upon her face she pains a smile but it is small, it is strained.

I would welcome a distraction from everything, instead... hm. What have you been up to?

Maia had been doing her own fair share of fretting, though by comparison, her issues seemed pretty small.  Ibis was her niece, but Maia suddenly felt strangely like she were the younger wolf.  Maybe it was the fact that she had things Maia hadn't gotten to yet... mate, kids, all of that.  Meanwhile she'd been off living the charmed life with her sister (definitely not something she'd trade).  The sudden sense of it threw her off a bit.

If I go anywhere, I'll ask too.  Add it to the list, along with Elfie and whoever else.  She didn't know when she'd go scouting again but she did like to travel.

Not a whole lot.  Honestly...  she hesitated.  She'd shared her fears with Eljay, because they shared everything, but Ibis was a fellow leader now.  Even if the pack wasn't official, the council had been chosen, and that meant she was expected to start acting like it.  She just couldn't quite sort out what that might actually mean.

This whole council thing.  I've never really actually been a leader before.  What... Oh jeeze.  How did she ask this without sounding like the complete idiot she probably was?  Like, I guess, what makes a good leader?  The 'good' at least indicated she wasn't completely hopeless.  It was a start.

Things were quiet for the rest of the fen wolves, from the sounds of things. Ibis found herself envious of Maia; intimately, deeply envious. With so many blessings in her life — her husband, her children, a warm place to sleep at night and ample food in the winter — there was so much more to lose; by now Ibis had lost almost half of what she had built, but the same could not be said for Maia. She was free, able to roam if she wanted, unmoored from the stress of a scattered family or the loss of those beloved.

Maia's follow-up question pulled Ibis from her downward-spiral of thoughts. It was a question she had asked of others many times. To have it turned back upon her presented a curious feeling — and Ibis wondered about how to answer. What had she learned of her own time as a leader? What had Bhediya taught her, or beloved Reiko...?

It depends on the person. She said.

I led before, for a short time. I found it a struggle to handle all the responsibilities alone, and so I had friends to help me. I found it much easier with the support of my loved ones... And I think the only thing to worry about is... If everyone is safe, happy. Ibis did not want to make things sound so serious but could not shake the almost stoic look upon her face. I think it all has to do with trusting yourself. Admittedly, I follow my heart and always have... It had brought her to so many different places and people.

Here's a question for you, which might help: lets say someone you don't know is hurt, just out of range of the fen. What is the first thing you'd do? Ibis found herself quite curious to know the answer, and watched the other woman expectantly.

She was hoping for an easy secret, but it seemed like it wasn't going to be as straightforward as that.  It made sense, but Maia would be lying if she said she wasn't disappointed.  She wasn't sure she could live up to what Ibis was saying.

She'd failed miserably the few times she'd even tried protecting herself, and she certainly had little to no trust in her own abilities.  What abilities?  She didn't have any.  Not outside of making people laugh with dumb (but wonderful) stories.  Maybe, if Eljay was here, she'd feel better about all of this... but he wasn't, and despite loving the forest and everyone in it more than she'd thought possible in so short an amount of time, she also felt a little lost.

I follow my heart

I'd offer to help them, Maia answered without hesitation.  Then she paused, looking down in a way that belied her older age.  She was clearly second guessing the answer.  But that might be stupid.  What if they are pretending?  Like he had been.  Or what if I can't do anything for them?

The woman's answer wasn't surprising, but it was a little bit vague.

Maia. You're overthinking it. Ibis tried to correct her with a smile.

Your first instinct is to help. That's good. The other woman continued to muddy the waters with her doubt and Ibis let her, because it gave the Auspex an idea of how Maia thought through her problems. Lots of second guessing. She would learn to trust her instincts, Ibis reasoned to herself.

If someone needs our help we should help them. From there you still have a few options: you can go and fetch what they might need, trust them at their word. Or you can call for help. You won't ever be doing this alone, you know. That is the point of the counsel; the other Ravens can help you with insight, or their presence, whenever you need it. Ibis hoped she could allay any of Maia's fears. She truly believed Maia could be a strong leader for Brecheliant if only she trusted herself.

She practically glowed with embarrassment when Ibis pointed out that she was overthinking it.  Yeah, that tracked.  And she'd even forgot the most obvious answer.  Duh, of course you should just call for help.  Some leader, you already forgot your pack even existed. The internal jibe cut deeper than the little voice usually did. Her ears tipped back a little.

That makes sense, she answered softly.  I think it's one of those things that's going to take time.  But, if I ever do mess up, or just... am not good for it.  Let me know?  Please?  she looked at Ibis, some measure of pleading in her expression.  I know Wraen suggested me for this and I really do want to try, but I don't want to have it if I'm not good for it.  And I can't stand the thought of everyone knowing it and letting me have it anyway.  It was her biggest fear that they were all just laughing at her behind her back, watching her struggle with leadership and knowing she'd never be enough for it.  She felt like she could trust Ibis to be honest, and asking actually helped a bit with her insecurity.

Ibis smiles. She knows what Maia is going through. When I first led and I had my counsel, I felt the same. I thought that surely my friends would look at me and see an imposter, or take me down for any decision I made. She reached out to lend a comforting graze of her nose across Maia's shoulder. Do not worry. You will learn. Or, if you really find it overwhelming, you can appoint someone else. But give it time.

Nobody knows how to lead immediately. It takes time and patience to learn, and you have the rest of the Ravens to help you. And you have me. Her tail waved. I'll always be here if you need me. Because for some reason she was the current Auspex, so Ibis would be interfacing with her Ravens frequently. They would learn to work together.

Ibis was the picture of confident reassurance, and Maia was glad it was she who had stepped into the role of Auspex.  There had of course been a voice in Maia's mind urging her to try for it... but it was a quiet one.  She didn't resent Ibis one bit for having been chosen though she did wonder if she'd ever be capable.  Or even feel capable.  It all seemed like such a big pile of "what might happen" when it came to leadership, and there was no list of instructions or rules for doing it!

Despite still feeling like she had no idea what was expected of her, this conversation made Maia feel better, if only because it was good to know Ibis was there for support.  Thanks.  I really do want to try, I think everything is just kinda a lot right now.  I'm sure I'll get the hang of it.  She let a little optimism into her voice, pushing aside thoughts of Eljay and the future in favor of this.  Thanks, Ibis. And... if you ever need anything, let me know?  You or Lilitu.  Even if it's just, like, a story.  Or someone to talk to.  She knew that Ibis had been through a lot recently, and her daughter too.  Maia adored the girl and if Ibis was offering, least she could do was give what she could back.  She absolutely never minded hearing someone else talk and sharing the company.