Moonspear this land

He had mulled it over a thousand times, at least. Ten thousand times, even. Cast his eyes over Moonspear, thinking of his allegiance to Sialuk, and come away from it conflicted.

He had pledged allegiance to Moonspear, but the numbers were dwindling. And he was a Redhawk. His family's caldera lie unclaimed just to their southeast. 

It was time to act.

Killdeer called for @Amalia to join him mid-summit, amid the trees that blanketed this mountain. He stood, a bit uneasy, tail swaying. 

Before he made any move, he would make certain she was on the same page. That was most important.

Amalia felt her heart heavy. Because again, she felt she had led to the dying of a pack. Her brothers pack, Killdeers pack. They had been doing so well, it had seemed. Then she had come and again it was failing. There was a heaviness to her step, but she brightened at the sight of Killdeer and leaned forward to lick his cheek.

She looked down over the spear and tilted an ear. You rang. She teased gently.

Hi, you, he breathed, leaning into her embrace with a contented sigh, feeling the weight of the world depart from his shoulders for at least an instant—

For even if that weight returned shortly after, no matter. He'd cling to this feeling.

'Mal, Killdeer began, pulling back to give her a serious look. You've probably noticed things here are changing. Sialuk's gone, and others have left, too. . .

He didn't know the amount of guilt she felt, but he knew damn well he felt bad for bringing her into another doomed venture. God help him if it happened again—at least under his watch.

I want to start a family with you, he told her earnestly. And I want to do it at Redhawk Caldera—where I was born. You know, Brecheliant's old home. I think I can get a few wolves to follow us, at least, and—

He exhaled gently and shook his head, closing his eyes. I want to try, he murmured. Twin golden orbs came alight again, resting upon her face as he laid his soul bare—more than he'd dared ever before, with her. Will you come with me?

Heya. She chirped back. A small smile on. Her face. But fretting inside. She had done this. She had to have.

Then he opened his mouth and her worst fears came out. Her mouth grew dry. I noticed.

Oh my. She breathed in. Her cheeks growing warm. How sweet, but also how frightening. Amalia had never fully gone into heat. She always stopped it. So she was unsure there.

She blinked sadly. But what if I ruin it too? Every pack I've been in has disbanded soon after I joined.

Her sadness was palpable, and he reached out instinctively to pull her close, holding her in the crook of one forearm and letting her rest her muzzle upon his shoulder.

Packs disband, 'Mal, Killdeer murmured. It's not your fault—it just happens. Everything happens for a reason.

Killer laid kisses along her elegant dark neck and went on, Maybe the reason was for us to be together. To start a family, and a new life, together.

Was he afraid? Sure as shit. Fatherhood had come naturally enough, but he'd never been a leader, much less tried to carve out his own niche in the world. And with settling Redhawk Caldera came his family's weighty legacy there—and failure loomed large.

He pulled back and gave her a gentle smile. We'll stay here for a little while longer, he said. Make sure everything and everyone is settled. Wait until the weather gets warmer and all the flowers are in bloom.

Amalia shifted to lean into him. Though part of her wondered at her ways. She tilted an ear as he spoke. He was not wrong, but it always seemed to be packs she was in. The Caldera had done well for seasons, Seasons! Before she joind it and then poof as was the same with the spear. Should she be ashamed admittedly she felt she should.

A soft murmur at his ministrations, but her mind was cloudy with doubts. But he was not dishonest and he made sense. She frowned in thought. They could try. She was always willing to try. THough the thought of a family made her cold all over. Not because she did not want children or that life. But because she had no idea if she was cut out for it. Not to mention, she wasn't sure she could. SHe had never gone into heat in her life. She had always stopped it. What if she had stopped it one too many times.

She dipped her head. Okay we'll try.

She agreed, albeit reluctantly. He felt the fear and misgivings coming off her in waves, and tucked her close in his embrace. He wished he could envelop her entirely—shield her from all pain and doubt. Make her understand that none of this had been her fault.

No matter what, I promise that I'm with you, Killdeer told her—quietly, fervently. Wherever we go, whoever we settle with, I'll be there. We'll make it, together.

Amalia had been a steadfast friend—and he would be the same for her as a mate.

He pulled back and kissed the crown of her head, smiling gently. We'll have to let the others know, Killer remarked. I'll tell my daughters if you handle Alaric. I haven't really gotten to know him all that well, as bad as that sounds.

Amalia wasn't trying to be difficult. Really she wasn't, but she wasn't sure. And she was scared and worried. Killdeer was help8ng of course. Ans she would roll with whatever happened, but. Gosh.

Okay. We make it together.

She laughed at his neck words. Alaric will be fine. That wolf has a wandering streak longer than the world. He will not be upset. And well think of a wolf like me, but who is a little more reckless and very very ornery. And you got Alaric.

I appreciate that, Killdeer breathed sincerely, pulling back. Really. I've done my share of wandering, and always felt guilty leaving others behind. . .but I know between your brother and my daughters, they've got this place locked down.

So that was that. He'd suffered nightmares of this moment—of laying it all bare to Amalia, only for her to turn him down. Having to start from scratch, and find someone he cared even half as much about as the dark-pelted beauty.

Those visions still lingered in the background but were dissipating quickly. This was real. This was true.

I'm so in love with you, he told her fervently, slowly shaking his head. I'm so happy we found our way back to each other again.

Amalia smiled softly. She had hoped to make him feel better. She knew it was hard. But sometimes you had to leave those you cared for behind. When you outgrew it or the life that they were making was not for you. Was it hard sure shooting, but sometimes you had too.

There was never a doubt in her mind that Her and Killer were end game, at least not since he had confessed to her. But she also understood she and he were both a little slower at relationships, her because she had never had one. Him because he had never had a really good one.

Warmth flooded her cheeks. I am so in love with you too.