Ghost Lion Crag i will not let my future go on without the help of my soul

in hindsight, arcturus had probably committed 'stupid mistake #2' by instantly going to wraen for consolation. her good-natured teasing was just too much for the beta, who would have much preferred she be pragmatic in the height of his hysterics. but then, she wouldn't be wraen, would she?

he let out a flustered sigh, ignoring the teasing in her voice. "i don't.. even know." he felt positively embarrassed to even be discussing such affairs with wraen - a female -- especially when they were private matters. he supposed 'private' had gone out the window the second he had gone calling for her for a little shoulder to cry on.

"i don't know what came over me. i was just there and saw her, and she came at me and asked me.." here he looked away, cheeks blushing crimson. "if i wanted some.." he couldn't really say it, could he? oh god, he had to say it. "some fuck." his tone was hushed, cowed by his own shame. "and i don't know how it happened so fast. i didn't want her to leave and she said she was going to, so i tried to stop her and then it was like.. we touched — and... " he hedged a deep sigh, the guilt deepening. "it was like i lost control, but that was what she wanted..?

i just..  i thought it was supposed to be special... but it doesn’t feel special. instead, it feels like i was used." poor stupid boy that arcturus was, he did not realize that often it was the reverse for women, and that his gender had gotten off relatively scotch-free since time immemorial. for him, this was a whole new side of emotions he was experiencing — and none of them felt good.