Bitterroot Valley subterranean homesick blues

surya

she gives a small nod at the offering, a little more sated with that nugget of information. he was no longer just some random wolf bearing the scent of the pack that had watched her papa die, or the boy that sought to steal- no, take back she supposed, the little blackbird that her mind had so gratefully attached its tether to. for she was coming to believe that had it not been for his need to marvel at life and offer up frustratingly odd challenges, she would have drifted away into an unconscious haze of searing agony these past few days. was that dreadfully selfish of her? was she so adamant about 'protecting' him from the fate of returning to a home of suffocating pity that would surely snuff the vibrance from that lustrous gaze of wonder because she simply feared that she could not pull through without him? no, surely not! she would never try to influence him, he had not wished to go back there even once- this wasn't a selfish act, it was mere free will. but anyway, he was surya. and surya was just a boy trying to do the right thing and how could she bear any ill will towards him for that? she would not start harbouring negative feelings for benevolent kissed characters when so much evil lingered within every nook and cranny. turning against each other is as foolish as feeding fuel to the fire that threatened them so.

at the velveteen touch of his floating words she'd blink gratefully, even dragging a fleeting smile up from the twist of her wearied soul to grace pallid features. her gaze would follow his to the child, conflicted heart unfurling softly stabbing tendrils through her chest as she watched him murmur quiet words to the frivolous dancers. she did not look away from the painfully beguiling painting before her of alsek and his flowers, even as she felt the press of surya's gaze upon her as he murmured a quiet apology. her head shook a little now, ears seeking silent refuge against her skull as she whispered a little hoarsely "it's okay, you only seek to do the right thing i...i was perhaps too quick to fall defensive" 

she inhales deeply and turns away to look upon her company once more. she felt so old, was this what adulthood was really like? she most definitely hoped not, the responsbility, uncertainty, loss...it all wrapped around you like the heaviest of dragging chains. surely their parents had not struggled under such burdens pressing on their shoulders each and every day? 

and oh how judicious of him, that choice of wording to assault her ears. the ugly twist in her chest marked his success and yet still...of course she sympathized for alsek's sister but it is much harder to feel the same level of remorse for a nameless, faceless being. she had cared little for kavik's other children, in fact some disgraceful part of her had in some ways despised them until she'd met the boy with the heart of wonder. alsek had never even mentioned her. a sigh breaches the painfully tight clench of anxious jaws as he asked of her name.

"polaris" she returned clemently, pushing her svelte figure to a shaky stand as stiffness began to nip at tired muscles. "i only want to let him choose when he's ready. i think deep down he kind of..knows, not in a way his mind can process it but some instinct knows something is wrong. we all deal with this differently, perhaps his sister craves the support of others but i think alsek needs to be away from it all. he is young but he is not foolish." looking back to her brother, she'd chew idly at her lip and murmur quietly "if you can trust me in saying this, i am thinking only of him. i just aim to provide support and care for him until he decides that he is ready, no matter how long that takes"