Dawn Treader Valley I think you worry way too much

"to live?" silvertongue asked with a moment of the self that was wry, sardonic, teasing in her love. the emptied eyes moved to the woman, nameless but far less than stranger by now. "if i wanted to live i would not have come here." strange, to taste resentment and not have it lodged to any particular pillar. she tucked her swollen foreleg close, grunting as she attempted to straighten the stiffened toes on that limb. "to go home; to what?" would crowfeather always be there? she envisioned the peace of riverclan and found that she very much longed for the cool shadows, for him. but the memory of akavir and wren, here, to witness yet another of her abject failures — "i do not know what i want. i thought i would die, but i was saved. i cannot think about living and yet i breathe." caught; tethered; something like a smile floated across her bittered face, one that faded into the sudden shimmer of hot tears; "i loved them. i destroyed them. her. wren."