Redhawk Caldera meadowlarks

Dwin thought she had got over it, had let it go. Forgiven. For it was the right thing to do. Because Dee had nothing to apologize for. Because Dwin had done the same thing earlier that year without consulting anyone about it. Without asking, how that would make anyone else feel. And she knew that it was the same thing. There should not be a grudge. There should not be anger. It was in the past. Move on. 

But seeing her there on the borders now - all happy, beaming, returning home like a some kind of hero, made all that resentment Dwin had felt during those first weeks of Dee's disappearance explode and consume her. Dwin had worried. Dwin had searched for her. Dwin had still thought of her every day. Wondered, what Dee was doing. Whether she was doing anything at all in case that bloody creep had found her again and finished her job. And it had all been for nothing. Dwin's heart and trust had been broken, while Dee apparently had had time of her life.  

She had arrived a little later than the rest and kept her distance. Digging her claws in the ground, trying to compose herself. Not say things she would regret later. Her gaze burned in anger, watching, how her brother and dad embraced her, welcomed her back. Knowing she should do the same thing, but she could not. Deep inside she knew she was not fair. She should be happy that Dee seemed to be happy. Had found herself a new home. A new friend - so it seemed.

But Dee in her own hurt had left someone else hurting too.

It was only now that Dwin realized the extent of it. 

Dwin's love and care for her sister had not been enough. Worse. Slighted. Cast aside. Swapped. Left unappreciated. 

Sometimes being a good person is very difficult. 

"F*ck you, Dee," she snarled, putting all the disappointment and pain in her voice. "F*ck you!"  

With this she turned on her heel and left. 

Feeling worse than before. 

Having found out that hate did not make you feel better. 

It made you lonely instead.