Hushed Willows Trigger warning:Tonight, we're Fighting for our Lives

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: A bit graphic and disclaimer don't read if fearful of PTSD symptoms

Reyson had been exhausted, but it had been long before he had finally succumbed to sleep, a deep sleep. Deeper than he had slept in months and with it came it's own set of troubles. First it was the restless dreams that played behind lids of gold, then it was the overwhelming fear. Fear that he hated. Fear that he hadn't felt in years. It was with the sharp pinprick of such terror that he woke up wild eyed, and panting.

There was nothing around him and yet he saw it all. The darkness closing in on them. The wolves that came for him and his family. Renaud's broken mutilated body, Rook and Amity. There was nothing he could do, except fight.

And then he ran. Large body beat through the bushes, he wasn't mindful of anyone around. He was fighting a war that no one else could see. Were he sane at the moment, he'd have known it was lack of sleep and the constant paranoia that had preyed on his mind while in Akashingo, but as it were he was too far gone to notice.

He raced without a care for his safety. Every branch that stabbed his pelt, was an enemy. Every time his paws hit sharp objects, it was a bone. The howls played against his ears, sundered by growls and bellows. The air misty, rainy, cold. It had been hell that day, and it was hell again. And he was trapped inside the maelstrom of absolute fucking filth. Blood working it's way up his ankles, his golden fur was stained with it. Not that a wolf that come upon him could see, but he could. He could see it. Feel the warmth as it seeped into his body. As it ran like rain down his eyes and across his muzzles. As his throat worked and no sound came. This was what devils did.

He ran so far and so fast, and finally his body gave out. IN his minds eye, he was dying. The final blow had come, though in reality, it was simply he was exhausted. Blood colored his face and pelt, from the branches he had whipped across and his paws were cracked and bleeding. Large body hit the ground, and he allowed his head to fall foward and he cradled it there paws across his ears and eyes, waiting for death.

Tags for reference so that @Germanicus and @Fennec know where he is and @Meadow. You are more than welcome to reply to if you so wish. I hope I did it right. My PTSD is a little different than a soldiers.

he had gone for a quick night patrol, hoping to familiarize himself with epoch's slopes in the dark. yet something familiar tinged the breeze and he could not help but wander. confused, tantalized, concerned. he could not imagine what he would have found among the willows.

a familiar man caked in his own blood, crumpled in a pile.

but maxim was not prepared to fall back into a soldier's existence just yet and instead of alert guardianship, he became softened. worried with pinched brows and a warm, soft voice. standing out of reach in case the reaction was poor.

reyson...? what has happened?

he smelled nothing but the man's own blood and mereo. what exactly had transpired?

A low growl erupted as he fought something no one could see. But a voice reached past the void and the fog to grasp at him. He looked up with eyes of blue, though the voice that had called out to him, was not whom he saw.

Rook! What are you doing? I told you to get back? To get Amity out. Why won't you listen! That's an order from your commander. There's too many, there's just too many. Renaud and.. His voice cracked and the misery bled through.

He spoke again, lost in the throes of a flash back, there was nothing much to do but wait. I can hold them off. I'll hold them off. Now run.

Reyson fought to get to his paws, but the exhaustion had hit as hard as it could and he crumpled.

No I can't let them die. I have to save them. I told them all to leave.

Happy dance! A wild Maxim appears <3

maxim was thoroughly jarred by the man's voice. names he recognized from private moments shared among them.

whatever had occurred to start this type of rambling must have been serious. a man did not need to be a medic to understand that. he watched as the man tried to stand, only to crumble once more.

we stand together, reyson. his heart hurt to witness it. he wondered if the life of a soldier would only be this in the end always. he crept down onto his belly, prepared to lay alongside the other man.

come home with me.

his voice now soft and wounded.

Mature Content Warning

This thread has been marked as mature. By reading and/or participating in this thread, you acknowledge that you are of age or have permission from your parents to do so.

The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Graphic

Reyson fought to rise again. The night from before bleeding into his thoughts, his actions. He could feel it, the pain in his paws, in the legs. Where flesh had been rendered, his throat hurt where he had been held upon.

Reyson barked. No I told you to leave. I am the last one off the battlefield always. Now go. Please? This is my fault, this is Renauds. We never should have let the snakes in.

For a moment sheer agony bloomed in his chest, as it continued. Tears sliding down his face and he had no clue. He could see the whites of their eyes, and the tips of their fangs. They were coming, A savage growl rose from his chest, forced himself to his feet, he stood guarding. Then something else happened.

The words jarred a bit. Reyson froze trying speak. I can't it's all gone. It's all gone Rook. They're all gone. This hadn't happened.

Like a freight train it all struck him, hard. This was not how it happened. He blinked, once, twice. Rook didn't, he hadn't sounded that way. Rook had said...he had said.

No can do boss. You stay we stay.

Suddenly Reyson crumpled. He blinked, blinked again. He took a deep breath, another. Digging his large paws into the soil. Forcing himself to focus to push back this flash back.

Rook said, rook said. No can do boss. You stay we stay. Then he gave me that infuriating little smirk he always did.

Reyson scrubbed his paws in the dirt. His blood, it was, it was all over. Amity took the nearest one out. She, she ripped him apart, but they set upon her from behind. I couldn't...i couldn't get to her and Renaud Renaud was trying to stem blood flow, he was, he was screaming at me, told me to leave. To leave because I was about to die. But I couldn't leave them. I couldn't leave them there.

Maxim. His voice broke.

I couldn't leave them there.

ughh reyson making me cry so much ;;

but he would not be moved to leave. not by words, not by force. nothing could budge him from the man he knew was beneath all of this.

this tragedy, this blood, this mourning.

his choked words stabbed his heart with each breath. how awful it was to witness and he imagined it only worse tenfold for the man who experienced it. all maxim could do was stay to ride it out alongside him. be witness and make sure nothing happened to the man directly from all of...this.

his name came through it all at the end.

i know. somber in tone as he offered a shoulder to the man now. trust me, walk with me. please, reyson. the man could not be left out here. alone and petrified.

<3 Me too if i'm honest.

Reyson hadn't left then, until he had been forced down, close to death's door. And he wouldn't leave now. It was not the wolf he was. But it hurt, it hurt so much.

Reyson shifted and though he didn't want help, the exhaustion bled through into his movements, and he found his paws stung, as did his face. He licked along his muzzle and grunted at the salty traces of tears, and the bitter tang of metal. Most would be embarrassed, but honestly he was just too tired.

He leaned against him and spoke the only words he knew to say. I trust you more than you know Maxim.

Each Paw step his mind circled back to that day, the way they had all fought as much as they could. How each and every one had died. How Reyson had taken as many as he could with him. And then he too had laid down to die, but his body just wouldn't give out. How he wished for death, for months after, but he couldn't kill himself. Though he came so close, so many times. He always saw Amity's face, Rooks grin, Renauds sadness, begging him to keep on. So he did.

I haven't had an episode that bad in sometime. I didn't hurt you did i?

no, quick to whisk away any notion of hurt upon himself. only his heart for the man, but he would not voice it. but you seem wounded from something. let me take you to epoch.

he would begin their path that way, for it would be closer than mereo first.

but if the soldier protested, he would hear him out.

I wasn't wounded exactly, these are from my run through the forest i imagine in my episode. I just came back from Akashingo and i hated it. I was on edge there, i barely slept. I dislike the pharaoh. And he is underhanded and sneaky as his daughter. I think it finally simply caught up to me.

I like Epoch it's peaceful and it has you and Towhee and Meadow.

He mused quietly as they walked. Ears swiveling all directions. A strange itch beneath his pelt.

a tour in akashingo had done this to the man. at once he felt grateful that he had not gone, that he had left mereo before his aspirations had sent him into the lion's den.

maxim chose to kept their conversation among lighter things.

i bet they both will be pleased to see you, hm? he kept his voice warm. away from concern and distress. i believe you should rest in epoch for a night. he was not a leader and yet he doubted that @Arsenio might turn the man away or that @Tamar would be cold in the face of this great need.

meadow can look over you. i do not mind running word to mereo for you, too.

Reyson followed along as meek as a child. His body aching everywhere. He didn't know what to do about it. However, he couldn't pull forth the means to even gather effort.

It had not been the tour itself. But rather the constant on edge feeling, that had ratcheted up his paranoia. A mental anguish he usually was able to keep in check. But the pharaoh taking Meadow aside, giving her gifts. Reyson was not a stupid man. He trusted Meadow implicitly she had given him no reason not too, but he had known what the snake of an emperor had been doing. It was fun for him to sow discord and try and cause issues where there were none. He was disgusting. And add lack of sleep to that. It was a melting pot of absolute mental pain.

If you think it's alright, but I am fine to sleep near the borders, if the leaders are uncomfortable with me staying inside. I would be.

He wouldn't voice what he was thinking, but what if he had another episode and he hurt one of the children that called it home. Reyson had never hurt anyone in one of his throes of backdates. But he had been around others that had. And he couldn't guarantee that he was not like that given the right circumstance.

Please do and explain to Imperator. He will not like this about me, but I think as a seasoned soldier he will understand.

feel free to fade here <3

it is arsenio and tamar. i do not think they would turn you away, reyson. his eyes as warm as his voice, leaning along the man as they went. prepared to take him straight to the morphe herself. well, perhaps find him somewhere to rest first. then bring the morphe into it.

i will see he understands.

for germanicus was a man of the mind as much as the body. certainly a seasoned soldier would not find this situation as odd and jarring as maxim had.

As always thank you for the thread. <3

Reyson listened and then grew quiet as they walked. Slowing his breathing and his heart rate. Trying in vain to calm down. It worked to an extent, but he was still in flight or fight mode. It would take time.

thank you.

Reyson would settle to wait. Large body, held tightly wound. Blue eyes shadowed with specters only he could see.