Northstar Vale You don't have to say, what you did

Reyson had carried her into the pack lands. Her blood lay upon his fur and he hadn't wiped it off. The blood and her scent and Imperator's scent and it all convalesced there upon his skin, his fur his body. There was a blankness to his stare, now as he just shut off.

Every emotion every thought, it was nothing. Blank paper with no pen. Motionless he stood and stared out over the water. But slowly his thoughts filtered in and one after another, he saw the pain, the heartache. HE heard the cries. They were there screaming, filling his head, and all he felt was her lies. She had lied, imperator had lied. And maybe nothing had happened, but something would have happened if the cat hadn't shown up. It was clear in the musk that they both had released and it made him sick.

She had barely been able to stand him to touch her. What was wrong with him? Why was he second best? When he had loved only one other, so much so that it hurt. And he only had left his love when his lover had lain down to die. How was it fair that man who lost his wife, married another and he still, still went after other wolves.

The boy was crusted over with blood and sweat. His skin felt like it was on fire, surrounding him. Antigone had played the image of his favorite bathing pool through his mind the entire trip home. He had dreamed about it. He could not wait to find the waters and sink himself beneath them until the blood was gone and the memory of her horrible wounds was taken with it.

How did she do it? The young wolf could not understand. Healing the worst in others without losing her kindness.

Prowling stiffly, Antigone caught sight of the ugly scarred man. Reyson had done well out there. He had been the first to spring into action. He had been the first to search for webs to stop their bleeding. It had likely been his help that had gotten Meadow home. The man looked disgusting, too.

Come with me, the young wolf said, his voice sharp upon the cold air.

The young man, no longer a boy in Reyson's eyes. Antigone. He had done well. He had kept a level head he had done his best to help everyone within that clearing. Perhaps he didn't fully understand what had happened. But he spoke to Reyson and the scarred veteran turned a blank gaze to him, mind on the past, body in the present.

But he moved to the sharp command. Body coming alive beneath the words. A command he could do. So with large strides he followed behind the young one. Not sure where he was taking him, but he was taking him somewhere. And while he walked he let his mind free fall.

Clean, clean, clean, he must get clean.

Meadow’s blood was crawling through his skin, into his body. He could feel it upon him. He could feel it burning into him. It burned into the other man, too. They were coated in it. Arsenio had been coated in it. The feeling of how hot and thick it had been seared into his memory. Antigone needed to wash himself of it. He needed to be clean again so that his mind would stop with all the static that buzzed within.

Antigone led the soldier to the spring where the water flowed a brilliant shade of clear blue. The foliage that grew around the pool of water was frost-touched, but bent protectively over the waters and touched the top of the clean stream as it fell away through Epoch.

Navy eyes turned back to Reyson. The man had said nothing. He was broken. Antigone watched him with a cold face. He did not know how to heal wounded emotions.

Get in. Deep as you can.

Antigone stepped into the chilling liquid and watched as the beautiful blue began to swirl with bloody red.

Reyson continued onward. Pass trees and vale and forest. Near the water's edge. The water swirled. He stared at it. So blue, deep deep blue. What was he doing here. Why was he here?::

Reyson stepped in and continued, the water like ice against his skin, but he barely felt it. It weighed his fur down. Digging through the very center of him. It burned so cold. But he pushed on. Pushed his body as far as it would allow, and he stood up to his neck and he watched as the blood, and the scents and the dirt fell off of him.

Swirled in the blue, turning it a faded red, then a fade brown and finally it was all gone. He quickly dunked his head, and lifted it out, ice water flowing from his head, his ears down his face. He stood there until his paws grew numb, until they felt like the rest of him.

Then he strode from the bank and stood water dripping off of him to pool at his feet.

The boy sunk into the water and let it go over his head. He stayed beneath the surface until he could not hold his breath any longer. Only when air was necessary did Antigone rise and meet it, pulling in a great lungfull. His nose was just above the surface so he could breathe. His russet head looked bloody in its wetness. Navy eyes shifted toward the man.

I smelled it.

The heat of her upon the mountain. He thought it strange. He was still too young to understand that lovemaking, but he was not so young that he was blind to it.

She’s not impervious to making mistakes. No one is perfect.

Certainly not Meadow, and not the man who stood soaking wet beside Antigone’s favorite bathing spot.

He froze at the youths words and stared. While he worked through his question and the conversation.

Reyson did not care for the love making or whatever may have happened. No he cared that she had wanted him to move slow, that he would leave and yet she had. He could even forgive that. The hardest part was the lie.

The mistake is not what I care about. I care that she was not honest with me. Had she loved another or wanted another even if she knew it would hurt. She should have told me. The only thing that i asked for in our entire relationship was honesty. The only thing and she didn't give it. But she put conditions on everything i did. Expected me to never let my eyes wander and I didnt. But shouldn't i then hold her to the same ideals?

That’s stupid.

Antigone sunk below the water again. Like a crocodile seeking respite from the world above. He soaked himself until he thought the feeling of her blood might leave him. Then he rose again and his navy eyes had shifted to something colder. If his father would not say it to this soldier, then he would.

You are a grown man. She is a grown woman. You love her?

Antigone knew the answer to this already. He asked because Reyson had not said it aloud to him. He asked because this man needed to say it.

You love her? Did you ask her to take you as a husband? Did you seek marriage? 

The boy sunk below the water once more, before Reyson could answer. Bubbles rose to the surface of it. 

You say she was not honest with you but you did not give her the chance to be, Antigone said as he came back. She had not returned from the mountain yet. She had not been allowed to tell you what she might have discovered while there.

He stared at the youth. Not understanding what he was saying.

Of course i do. I did none of those things because she asked me not too. Didn't wish to move fast..

His eyes narrowed. she has had ample time to tell me that she wanted another man Antigone. This is not an affection that grew in a day.

Reyson took a deep breath and looked skyward. My emotions are too raw right now to take what you say and apply it. So excuse me. I'll think on what you say at another time. But not today.

Them he turned and walked away.

I am a boy and I know that a woman’s heat will make her more susceptible to… these things.

Antigone watched him with a lizard’s blink, slow and unphased.

You can be hurt, soldier. Of course, you can be hurt… but you cannot blame her. And it is childish to hold your anger against her when she was not your mate.

Reyson said he would think on it, that he would apply it another day. His emotions would remain raw until he found reason in his thick skull and learned how to communicate them. Antigone felt the plight of blunder foolishness. All brawn and little brain, or perhaps it was a lack of interpersonal skill. Whatever had afflicted this man, he was the only thing stopping himself from marrying the wonder that was Meadow.

If you wait too long, you’ll only have yourself to blame, the boy shouted to his retreating form. When Reyson had gone from sight, Antigone lowered himself into the water again and drowned the memories of her blood on his paws.