Cerulean Cape make the dark feel darker than before

As was her word, Dinah had gone as far as the cape with @Heda and @Simeon. She saw them off when she knew the isle would soon come into view in the distance, for she knew, somewhere inside of her, that she could not stomach it if her eyes laid upon it once more.
Would she ever, one day, be able to go back? To visit her father, to— she did not know. Did not want to think of his skin turning to rust, the bones beneath it.
She keeps her distance from @John, and she knew well it was unnecessarily vindictive of her to do so. But his face, his smile, his preaching of a God who had so clearly abandoned her — a cruel God, a merciless God, an ugly God. He had pillaged and stolen and murdered in cold blood.
There was no reason for this suffering, was there? There was no beauty in it, no great pink-and-white relief and joy waiting on the other side of the Redhawks' dark tunnel. It was only bleak; so bleak, so very bleak, as she pulls @Ava Amara to her side with the crack of a wrist and listens to the tormented call of the ocean she had been baptized in.
They would wait here until they received an answer, and for now, Dinah sits with the hope that soon; soon, there will be three bodies that come back across the bridge.

John had followed behind Dinah and Ava, keeping watch not just on them, but all around. He had been tasked with watching both Heda’s daughters, and he would do his very best to please her wishes. They had arrived at the cape, but far enough away that the island of Sweetharbor would not come into view. 

To be honest, John enjoyed the island life, but he also knew well enough that God was never just in one place, God was all around, following his sheep and watching over them. 

As time went on, he had thoughts of speaking to the children — But his remaining fear of what happened a couple months prior involving Ava and Ana still lingered. If he said anything, it wouldn’t be much, as these children still seemed to hold something against him.

pping ava a little with ooc permission! <3

John lingers; Ava watches him with the eyes of a rattlesnake. The redheaded girl herself is reticent.
You don't have to stare at me, Dinah's stomach slow-churns with a bristling flame as she turns to face the preacherman. why do you always wanna be near me anyway? You're like, obsessed with me. It's fucking creepy. all she can feel when he looks at her are the prying, hungry eyes of a malevolent God. What was the point? What was there to find in praying to a man who did not; does not; would not; listen?
Love you
Ana. Ana didn't know, did she? Would she ever? Did she need to?
Dinah thought that if she were still here, she would wish to shield her from this; from all of this, from this thick-fogged purgatory the isledwellers now were shackled to.
And why was he still here? Why had he come with them?

The island girl and the little black terror did nothing but stare at him with menacing looks. But Dinah’s words appalled him, especially with her choice of language. Her anger burned inside her, why she was angry with him, he had no real idea. He saved her life, and she meets him with this. 

His face started to warm up, he was unmatched, one wolf vs two young and  troubled pups. Nothing he could say now would most likely do much to help lift the tension of this situation. But he would give it a try. 

He turned to look at them, but mostly Dinah: “First of all, I’m not obsessed with you. Your mother instructed me to watch you, and I wouldn’t dare disrespect her wishes.” He wanted to make that clear. 

“Now you probably won’t like to hear this, and that is okay, but I believe that God brought me here. Nothing my God does is ever to harm his children.” He stopped, took a few breaths, and continued, “Every living being has struggles, every being loses a loved one. That’s part of life, but our lives can’t stop in times of trouble. I trust in God with every living fiber of my being, I was taught that our lives are worth nothing without God. I am who I am because of God.” 

He exhaled, “I want to help you and your family. I’m passing on the kindness your mother and father gave to me.” 

He stopped speaking, having said his piece. Whether or not they liked what he said, it didn’t matter. He trusted that God would continue to give him strength. To help himself, and the island family.

His God?
His God?
God wouldn't harm his children, huh? the girl sputters, a frigid stalk of crimson amid the reeds that bob; a rage, previously thinly veiled, now cast itself forward. That's bullshit. It's bullshit!
Knuckles clenched, she takes a feeble step forward, subconsciously shielding Ava with the curve of her belly. She wished to cover her ears, for her to not have to bear any more of this suffering, this tragedy.
Y'know what God has done for me, John? I-- I prayed, I prayed so much, every night. Every single night! And he never listened! He never gave me any answers, he never-- Dinah's voice raises to an alarm; no, not only that! She yells to a screeching decibel and her heart hurts, her head hurts, and she can feel herself slipping and she cannot stop herself from throttling far off the rail — he, he isn't real! It's not real! If he was real and he loved me, breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck okay okay okay; the tears scorch her ruddy skin, breath flowing in puffs of hot smoke. Daddy Mama Judah Simeon Kai Ana Abel Tzedeq Judah Daddy Simeon Daddy Daddy DADDY if he loved me why, WHY did he take away my FAMILY?!
Silence. A silence that etches into the marrow of her bones.
And, and. And! And and and if you think that my life is worthless without God in it, you-- you are dead wrong.

[Italics stand for thoughts]


Once again, the girl spilled out her anger, her grief. She didn’t believe in God, she made that clear — All he could do for those minutes was think, his gaze turned away from the two girls.

“God listens, always. He will always listen to our prayers. We may not hear him when he speaks to us, but like the wind which we cannot see, he is there.” He remembered the things his mother and father taught him, the answers to his questions. But one other important thing he was taught, was that you can’t change everybody, but you can try. And if they don’t want it, leave them be. He figured that everything he himself couldn’t handle, God would. God knew everything, everything about everyone. He created them.

He spoke one last time, before he would sit in silence. 
“If you don’t want my help Dinah, then I will respect that. If it will make you happier. But I want to be here for your mother, and whoever else will accept my help.” 

Was this normal?
Was this what was to be expected of her by God if he had not cast her aside? To preach; to repeat lines as if they had been rehearsed, even to those who do not wish to hear it?
To promise answers to questions that will never come? To promise relief from torment and anguish that will never cease?
Was this John's idea of helping?
Promise me one thing, John, her eyes tear away from him and instead land upon the stretch of soft white sand laying yards ahead of them. don't preach about your God to my mama. I don't think she wants to hear it either.
Would she be disappointed if she knew what had just flown from Dinah's lips? Or would she, too, be furious with the puppet-master who drove them into this chaos?

They both gazed out, away from each other. Silence followed John’s words, until Dinah broke it. He asked her of a promise, one that he couldn’t promise to obey. He would continue in his life to teach the words of God, and if someone told him that they did not want it, he would give it to them. Simply respect. He spoke without turning his head, “Dinah, I cannot promise that. If anyone were to tell me that they did not want to hear what I preach, then I wouldn’t continue. It’s simply respect.”

This he said, and nothing more.

He could not? He could not? You listen here, dipshit, venom intertwines with her words; the ferocity of her Gramma's tongue rippling to the forefront. Mama, her Mama, how horrified she'd be in this moment, but now Dinah could not tell who she would be more cross with.
But it did not matter; not right now, not anymore.
My mama's husband died, and half of her kids are missing. My dad-- my dad and my siblings, they're all gone. And now we're homeless! So if the only helpful thing you have to say is just pray, as if that has ever fixed anything for us, then you don't deserve to be here!
She shocks herself with the way her lip pulls back into an ugly snarl, a hideous gurgling growl now torn from her throat. The God she knew, the one she thought she knew, would not have wanted this, would he? She cannot peel the thought from her mind even as she denounces him aloud; oh, so loudly.

She struck John once again with words like missiles. They’re course straight, unwavering until they hit their target. John could feel the anger build up in his chest, for multiple reasons she upset him. He was young too, only two years old, taken from his home, and his family raised him with tight morals, so all the cursing only added to the pile of triggers. But in all this, he closed his eyes tight, silently asking God for help, help to gain control of his emotions. When John prayed, he always could feel his spirits rise, even if it was a little. He breathed, wrapping his mind around peace.

He said nothing more, didn’t fight this battle, as it would only cause Dinah to keep digging a bigger grave. He then walked away, close enough that he could glance over at them and see them clearly, but far enough off that he wouldn’t feel the girls breathing down his scruff.

last from me! <3

John is silent.
In that moment, Dinah noses at the crown of Ava's soft head; a soft whine snaking from between her teeth. We'll go sit somewhere else.
She skirts further along the edge of the cape, tail held in a stiff flag just below her hips, and settles where the bittersalt ocean laps at her toes. She cannot remember the last time she felt it and enjoyed it; allowed it to be pleasant. There's a frigid touch of late-season in the foam.
Dinah's nose finds the curve of Ava's shoulder, and she closes her eyes.