Stone Circle This life isn't romantic or free, there's no path to anything that makes any sense

@Arlette for whenever you have time, i don't mind waiting any length of time :)

forward dated to june 13, 2020

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They were hungry again, and of course their cries felt like a physical attack on his heart. Not wanting them to suffer for his inability, he relinquished his spot tightly wrapped around them to Valette. It was one of those days, where he was having trouble looking at Val. Guilt ate away at him, anger too, and insecurity. He was perpetually anxious that either; something might happen to her and he would have to slowly watch his children die, or that she was suddenly going to realize he wasn't fit to do this and finally run him out of dodge. And then he grew angry, but more afraid. Afraid that in someway he was tainting Nanook's memory by somehow replacing her with Valette. As if they were so easily interchangeable.

Without a word to Valette, Siarut exited the den. Of course not going far. And he wasn't surprised to find Arlette had accompanied her mother on this gloomy day. It had been raining for the past three days. Perhaps even the heavens wept for his mate. The old anaanatsiaq's back home had often spoken of untimely deaths affecting the weather and the mood of the spirits. Regardless, Siarut took a hesitant step toward the young woman. Clearing his throat as he approached. He wasn't sure if he could offer her any conversation, but before he could stop himself he realized he didn't want to be alone. The idea made him pause. He was stronger than that. He was used to a solitary lifestyle. Or at least he had been. Siarut shook his head, and stopped unsure whether he should continue or turn back.

Arlette had been by Kaito's side, and had not moved. She had tugged the bodies of the two pups by his side and she was just staying next to him. It was her little family and she had lost it all in one night. She refused to leave them and it wasn't like she was able to move much. Her wounds ached every time she moved. She had thick crusting gashes on her neck down, one on her shoulder. The bite mark at the jugular was quite deep but it seemed to have missed an artery since she was still here. Left behind. All her injuries were on one side of body as the cougar had pinned her down and almost suffocated her.

If she was not sleeping, Arlette was staring into nothing. She wondered why she had been scared of dying when the cougar choked her with its grip. If she had known she rather would have died. Perhaps a dark thought, but she had many the last few days. Her ear twitched when someone cleared his throat. Arlette just turned her head away from whoever was approaching. An ever soft wince as the turn stretched her wet pelt on her neck. Even with the rains she had not moved. Many had checked on her, but she didn't want to communicate, especially not to her Mother. She had a feeling it was her checking up on her or leaving her something.

<3

She didn't even send a glance in his direction. Again he hesitated. Unsure. He could see she was injured, and a fleeting thought wonder if she should get out of the rain, knowing the danger's of infected wounds. But of course his gaze drifted to Kaito and the two pups at his side. A tear pricked his eye seeing the small innocent creatures. They had lost a lot in this attack. Siarut lifted his head to blinking the tears away. His lids falling shut with a small, practically inaudible sigh from his trembling lips.

After composing himself as best he could. He offered no apologies for her loss, knowing there was nothing that could be said to ever quench the pain that had come with his death. Siarut wasn't sure if she knew it was him or not, but there was something to be said for sharing a somewhat mutual pain. Taking a leap of faith he wasn't sure he was ready for, Sia slowly approached the girl. There were no words as he settled beside her, his back pressed against he own. He lied down on the soggy ground, curling away from her, content to simply enjoy the agony they both suffered. His jaw resting softly on the ground, his olive gaze glazing as he drifted into more pleasant memories.

Arlette could smell that it wasn't her mother, so she relaxed slightly. She heard the wolf coming closer, her ears listening to what the other was doing. Only when Sia came really close she realized he was going to lie down with her. Her upper lip raised slightly, more in warning not to touch anything that belonged to her. She was not ready to part with them.

The female then felt a warmth by her side. She didn't realize how cold she was until she felt the warmth of another. She could feel that Sia was much in the same fate as her, only he still had his children, and she didn't. For a moment, she thought it might be a good thing since she probably wouldn't be able to care for anything right now. She was not even taking care of herself. It was nice to have someone be there with her though. "I'm sorry about, Nanook," she whispered eventually. Because of Nanook she was still here. "She saved me."

Her curled lip hadn’t fazed him, Siarut was well aware of her unwillingness to move Kaito or her unfortunate young. He had no intention of touching them or trying to persuade her to move them. He imagined he might have reacted similarly, had Valette not called him to take care of his pups in that fateful day.

She relaxed as he settled against her. But was pulled from his memories as she spoke. He didn’t life his head, but his ear twitch. Sia was honestly surprised Arlette spoke at all, and he hadn’t anticipated it. Finally dragging his chin up off the ground, he turned slightly to look at her.

The widower understood the condolences to be common place after such an event. But to him the words felt empty. He didn’t want apologies, he didn’t want kindness, or love and support. He wanted his mate back.

Despite his miss givings though, he shallowly dipped his head in thanks. “Thank you.” The words stuck to the back of his throat, barely heard. He hadn’t been present during the altercation, and it would haunt him for the rest of his life. But Siarut knew that Nanook would have done anything to keep her family safe. Including Arlette.

Siarut hadn’t had the chance to meet Kaito properly. But it was obvious that she had cared very deeply for the boy. “I am sorry too.” Although he his apology was for a different reason than the three corpses on her other side. No, he should have been here. He should have been here to protect his family. If he had maybe this never would have happened. Maybe Kaito would still be alive, maybe Arlette would still have her pups...and maybe she would still be here too.

“We’ll see them again.” He spoke softly. He wasn’t sure what her religious viewpoints were, but his told him that while her physical form had left her spirit still remained.

She had been reluctant to talk to anyone really, but Siarut had been there for here before this all went down. Plus he was probably the closest wolf to feeling what she was feeling. Her heart ached, the only thing it did was soothe the ache of her wounds. Still, they were a stark reminder that she had lived compared to Kaito and her children. Though, the one thing that stuck by her was that Kaito had said he saw them, that they were alright. That meant she probably lost the pups even before this whole cougar attack went down.

She slowly nodded, taking in his apology. She didn't think much further of it. His words about them seeing their loved ones again struck her. "I hope sooner than later," she commented so softly, she almost believed she thought of it. The female did believe there was something after this. "Kaito saw his father so that must mean....," she spoke but then minimally shook her head since every movement hurt. "It feels unfair to be left behind," she stated then. At least Sia had someone to live for, his children, she.. well she had no one.