Broken Antler Fen when I am down I lay my hands upon the ground

for @Ibis!

Eljay hadn't properly met Ibis yet, the leader-elect as Wraen had described her. It had been on his to do list even more ever since he found out that she was the leader above even the Ravens (he'd thought Wraen was, before). Unfortunately for Eljay, going through to do lists was one of those huge Impossible Tasks right now. He still felt completely burnt out and it did not help that he was riddled with guilt and worry over how the wolves of Redhawk Caldera were doing. Some days he just wanted to run back to them to make sure they were okay, but whenever he thought of that, all he wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry endlessly.

Wearily, he set off to try and find the pack's leader that day, with the bad thoughts still plaguing him. He knew he had to get his act together soon. Calm down, find some inner peace or whatever... Anything to be a good mate and a good father when the time was there. It was easier said than done, though, in his current state. Feeling like an old man, Eljay stiffly set off through the Fen to find his new pack's leader, a nervous twist in his gut even though Maia had said that Ibis was a good person.

The mountain was no longer the same after the meteorite, and dare she think it, neither was she. Although the brunt of the loss was to other wolves, Ibis had tried to be present to lend aid where she thought it would be needed. Being useful during a time of her own uncontrollable loss had felt right; but it had been weeks since the visit to those ruins, with little to show for the effort except the images of broken bodies and a scattering of survivors. That, and, she had come away from the ordeal with aches and pains of her own which were slow to form.

At first she thought she'd slept at a weird angle and caused the ache in her body that way. There was tension in her shoulders and an overall dull pain in her joints. When Ibis finally became mobile and went looking for something to eat, the first look she had at an exposed cache caused her appetite to vanish. Had she gotten sick upon the mountain? Had they brought something back that had been incubating?

Ibis was lost to her thoughts - trying not to think of the one familiar thing this could be, when she heard someone moving among the ferns. She saw Eljay's profile and the sour look on his face. She was a little worried but mostly thankful for another distraction, this time on something other than the slightly bloated feeling she carried with her.

Hey there, she called to him, prancing over and waving her tail to garner his attention.

It wasn't a great time to have your every emotion written plainly on your face. Eljay didn't like that it was clear for anyone to see that he wasn't well. He wanted to come across like a good guy who would be good for the pack, not like the wreck he presently felt like. However, every ounce of guilt and pressure he put on himself only returned in further decline while Eljay's body screamed at him to please take care of himself for one second.

He was glad when he found Ibis, happy to finally have a proper meeting. She seemed to think the same, and Eljay smiled softly — though wearily — as she greeted him and waved her tail. She seemed nice, which set his worried heart at ease a little. Hiya, Eljay greeted in return. He could not help but stare a little at her bloated form. It seemed as if she might be pregnant, however, Eljay had heard nothing of her having a mate and he didn't really know how she looked normally, so he was a bit fearful of saying anything. After a moment of visibly hesitation he instead said, I uh, I thought we should meet properly, 'cause... Of you being the leader-elect, and me being new. Eljay felt as awkward as he sounded. He wasn't used to this kind of stuff; when he had been accepted into Drageda eventually it was by the Heda herself, and other than that he'd always been in family-ran packs his whole life. The wolves who lead his packs were already his family and best friends normally, so this was new territory for him.

He seemed... innocent, somehow. An adult, clearly. Sweet, soft in a way that Ibis found disarming. Something of an innocuous creature; by his own account a new face on the proverbial block, which had her wondering.

She did notice the heaviest scent upon him was that of Maia. Was that what linked him to the fen, her boisterous aunt? How lovely that they should find themselves here, find happiness at all in this life.

Welcome, then. She says with a little nod, a bigger smile. How long has it been since you arrived? I should have been present for it, but, there was a disaster on the mountains north of us. I... I was away, trying to lend a hand. Here her smile faltered a little, knowing that her efforts had only mended one wolf.

One was better than none, she supposed.

Eljay smiled at her heart-felt welcome, feeling more at ease already in her presence. She asked how long it'd been since he'd arrived. Eljay was a little surprised that Maia wouldn't have told Ibis all about him, but he hid the surprise; it was easy enough, considering what Ibis said next about the disaster. Eljay remembered so well watching it with Reyes, completely dumb-founded. He wondered suddenly how Reyes was doing, where he was... Maybe he shouldn't sympathise, since he'd broken Niamh's leg, but Eljay could not help but feel for him.

Thoughts of ghosts past were pushed aside as Eljay responded with a frown and said, I saw it — It looked... terrible. It was good that she'd helped. Eljay had already forgotten her initial question, until he suddenly remembered. Ah — I got here a few weeks ago. Maia accepted me. He said the latter a bit awkwardly. He trusted Maia in that he didn't need Ibis to officially accept him, but at the same time he could not help but nervously wonder, what if Ibis didn't think the same? It was probably no biggie, considering Ibis wasn't hostile towards him right now, though.

Maia had come to her once, filled with self-doubt. Concerned that she did not suit her role as a Raven of the corvum. If this sweet man was her first decision, Ibis could not fault her for it. He seemed genuine in all regards; nervous, appreciative of Ibis' status, and friendly.

Maia is lovely, isn't she? A smile, a wave of her tail.

Ibis suddenly felt very guilty. She had not done her own duty very well. Her focus had been on mitigating her own sorrows by avoiding them, distracting herself with a disaster that had no effect on her own little family. She had left the fen in favor of an unknown mountain. In doing so, she failed to keep herself aware of the goings-on of Brecheliant - a point that the new recruit made her aware of with his comment.

Weeks ago. Weeks, not days, not hours. He very well may have joined before she did, but Ibis would not have known. Her face felt warm.

I am sorry for not being around to welcome you properly, or get to know you until now. My mind has been all over the place, and now... she shook her head, unwilling to talk about her changing body with a stranger right this moment. I have children. My daughter Lilitu is around here someplace - you're sure to meet her eventually - she takes all of my attention most days. It is hard to expand my focus to the rest of the pack, sometimes.

He was older than her, Ibis presumed. So maybe he knew what that was like. Do you have children? She asked, hoping to learn more about him while she could.

At Ibis' words about Maia, Eljay was quick to nod with a soft, somewhat dreamy smile on his face. She sure is, he said, his voice speaking of what was plain to see on his face as well.

As Ibis started to apologise, Eljay wanted to tell her it was alright, but he also didn't want to interrupt her. He knew leaders could be busy, and honestly, he'd needed the time to relax himself, too. He had been feeling guilty for not finding her any sooner; ironic that she should feel the same way. This place really was way different than Redhawk Caldera, he thought to himself.

Oh, that's alright, he said when she was done, though he didn't explain how he had needed some time to recuperate, too. He didn't want her to think that he wasn't capable of shouldering his caretaking responsibilities here because he hadn't been able to hold everything together back at the Caldera. I know it can be busy being a leader, and then there's your own life beside it. He smiled reassuringly.

As Ibis mentioned her daughter, Eljay could not help but smile. He thought of Weejay briefly, but soon was asked about his children anyway, so he could tell about her properly. I do. Elfie was — he was lost in the — in an accident, he said solemnly. His voice quivered to betray how this still got to him, but he quickly went onto happier things: And a daughter Weejay. She lives at the Frosthawks right now, a day or so travel from here.

After a short pause he added: I'm a caretaker, uhm... Mostly a puppysitter and midwife, but also a medic to some degree. He didn't consider it his utmost expertise, even though he had many years of experience by now. Not as much as everything surrounding pups, anyway.

Eljay explained his family connections as he spoke about his children, though not in great detail. It was no surprise that a man of his age might have children already; Ibis wondered of her own girls, trying not to let herself be swept up in the sorrow of Arielle's vanishing or the absence of her husband. Rather than dampen an otherwise pleasant introduction with her grim life story right off the bat, she offered a kind little smile.

I admit, I often don't see a difference between my role and my own life. It feels like I'm always the auspex first. That said, Brecheliant has been a calm and happy place. No murders, no strange behavior from neighbors, no wild beasts to thwart their claim — some absences that hurt too deep for words, but Ibis had to believe she would see her family again one day.

Hearing that the pack would have a medic who was both older and likely more skilled than herself was, in short, a blessing to her ears. That he was a midwife was a good thing too considering the season. It did not strike Ibis as odd that this might be a woman's role taken by a man, as she had grown up with role reversals all over the place; she thought of her two mothers and how fortunate they were for their shared knowledge of things, and also how much easier life would be in Brecheliant to have even one iota of that information. Ibis was glad to hear that someone was around with that knowledge and perhaps she could learn something, too.

That is wonderful news, she commends.

I grew up among many women, I had two mothers back in Elysium... And they were skilled with herbs and the treatment of illness. I used to want that for myself, so I have some knowledge of the local plants and how to do some basic mending. Not that she meant to overtake the conversation, by any means. Ibis hoped the common ground would be a good start to a new friendship. And while I've had my daughters, I don't know too much about being a parent. The birth was hard and I don't recall having anyone to coach me through it. I think your skills will be very useful; whether Brecheliant welcomes a new generation this year or not, we are fortunate to have you.

Eljay recognised what Ibis said about her role and her own life from others in his life; his relatives who had taken the helm of the pack, and of course Wraen, who was a part of this pack too. There wasn't ever really as clear a difference between rank and wolf as one would like; Eljay saw that as a part of leadership. His parents, to him, had always been just his parents, even though they were also Betas. Either way, he nodded at her words. He hadn't meant to imply that he thought she had her leadership life and her own life as two separate entities. He just knew that being a leader meant there was less time for your own life. He hoped she remembered making time for herself, too.

Don't forget yourself, Eljay said softly. A happy leader is a happy pack. He was pretty sure that the leader's health and happiness reflected on the pack, and so if Ibis didn't feel right the pack wouldn't feel right. She seemed to be doing alright, but he just wanted to remind her, as it seemed a thing leaders often forgot: themselves.

Ibis did not seem too struck by his news of Elfie's demise. Perhaps she had lost children or perhaps she had simply heard of loss too much. Or perhaps too little, not understanding entirely the gravity this held for him. Still, Eljay didn't linger on it too long and as Ibis moved on, responding to his medical knowledge, he did too.

Ibis seemed happy to know that Eljay was a medic and midwife, and seemed happy to have someone to coach potential new parents. This taught Eljay that Maia must not have talked to Ibis about puppies yet, as she didn't mention his own potential children (which to him weren't all that potential and more of a 'definite' thing). He decided not to mention it now, but mentally noted having to discuss this with Maia in the future.

Thanks, Eljay said after Ibis praised his knowledge. He felt his stomach twist as he thought of the pressure of Redhawk Caldera. He'd let them down in the end, unable to handle the pressure and needing to perform. As silence fell, Eljay said, I should head out — it was nice to meet you, though. I'm sure we'll see more of each other. The caretaker smiled softly at his new leader and waited to hear if she had anything more to say.

He was right. The leadership of any pack was vital; keeping the Ravens and their elected Auspex in good spirits and proper health was a valuable thing. Ibis didn't want to put herself above others, although she understood the sentiment, and smiled.

When Eljay decided it was a good time to move on and find some work to do, she nodded, accepting the end of the conversation. Ibis was glad to have someone like him around; if Brecheliant was to thrive and survive the coming seasons, they would need more people like him.

It was good to meet you. She adds, before letting him go and ducking away herself.

Eljay beamed a visible smile when Ibis returned the sentiment that it was nice to meet her, and he said, See you around, with a warm smile before he started heading out again. He felt a little easier already, being here. Some of the guilt that he had for not being at the Caldera lifted, knowing he could do well here, and knowing that their leader here was the friendly type. He didn't expect to get into much trouble for not pulling his weight right away. Hopefully he would get some time to settle in. That was a soothing thought amidst all of the anxiety and stress he experienced right now.

After saying good-bye Eljay set off and he made his way back to Maia to tell her about meeting with Ibis.