Firefly Glen nightmare

for @Keres

He slept, he woke. He worked, he slept. An endless cycle. Holland was once again getting used to the lull of having something to do. Though patients did not throw themselves at the man, he was still getting experience. If not in the Glen, then outside. He could feel it working, gaining more knowledge. Perhaps he'd earn himself a nice rank one day.

One day.

Tossing out of his den, he would have grumbled against the sun. But the good thing about the location was light rarely found itself glaring at him. Holland only blinked his eyes, taking in the crisp breeze. He bit back a sigh, hearing Keres approach again. At least it was her, and not someone... more curious. The man didn't want to constantly get what happened to your eye?

"Hello..." he says now, not looking at her but knowing it was her. Holland faced away from the woman, justifying not turning around in case she was just passing by.

The lavender he had prescribed to her had worked like magic, allowing the pepper dusted female to sleep like a babe the very night she had gone to see him. Keres had barely stepped through the threshold of her little hovel before curling up against the back wall only to fall asleep almost straight away; she had only woken from the nightmares once, a terror she could not recall the sight of but could describe the feeling in intense and exact detail. Even now, she could feel the cold fingers grip her heart and lungs, the mere memory of the feeling an icicle driven deep into her heart.

Still, Keres had woken renewed, significantly more energetic than she had been the night prior, though still she trailed behind a full 100%. It would come, she knew, once things settled out. So today was spent taking the time to gather things for the one that had helped her. A pair of plump rabbits and strips of cedarwood clenched awkwardly in her teeth, which did not allow for her to return his greeting. Instead, the silver woman ventured closer to set her gifts down at his right side; he already knew she was here so she did not worry about spooking him so much as making sure she remained on the side of his good eye.

I wanted to thank you for last night, She said, voice warm and please as she looked to him, tail waving slowly, gently behind her. And what better way to do so then with a meal? It was what Jarilo had done and now, Keres took the leaf from his book and did the same.

"There's no need to thank me" Holland remarks as she proclaims her intention. His voice is not unkind though, more surprised than anything. He raises a brow at Keres. "was I supposed to turn you away?" He had come to the Glen with clear intentions; heal the wolves here. He didn't need or require anything else. He wanted practice, experience and to learn. He doubted Osiris would like it if he turned away Keres in her time of need.

Even for something as simple as lavender and not sleeping. "I was doing my job" he utters, not understanding her kindness. He looks down from her face to the cedarwood and rabbits. It was clear Holland did not expect anything in return for helping others. He had not been given anything but praise for his skills thus far. He seemed very confused in this moment, not knowing what to say or do in response to being thanked.

His surprise confused her for a moment, creating a beat where the two of them looked at each other, questions swimming behind the eyes of each wolf before he spoke again. Some wolves might have. Some might have told me to be still or to think about nothing or whatever nonsense. You did not. You helped me and I appreciate it.

Therefore, She paused, lowering her head to nudge her gifts closer to him, meeting his eyes with a gentle and warm smile. I brought you a gift because I value what you did for me.

"I am confused" he says to the woman bluntly, scrunching his face "what healer turns a patient away that needs their help?" What sort of healer would he be for the pack that took him in if he did that? Holland looked momentarily uncomfortable, shuffling his weight. "especially... a friend." She was always in his face, wandering toward him and acknowledging him. It nagged at his patience at first.

But eventually, with all wolves, he dropped his guard after constant exposure. And he couldn't exactly throw the food in her face and snarl at her. "Thank you" he says, placing a paw on the rabbits and cedarwood bark. It seemed he was doing a lot of that, thanking her lately. He scowls light for want of something to do, chewing thoughtfully. "will there be a fight?" Holland asks directly.

"Will you fight?"

Ears tipped forward at his confession of confusion, a shrug rolling her shoulders lightly in response. It has happened when I go to others for help sleeping. It is not a physical ailment so they do not look to treat it. She huffed, breath clouding in the cold air, eyebrows knitting in her own frustration. To be honest, last night was the fiirst time I have sought help with sleeping in a long time. She had trusted him not to brush her off or laugh at her, and he had come through.

She was pleased though, at being considered a friend. He was as he had been when she had first met him, prickly and silent, perhaps a touch sullen, but it was an attitude that she could see past to see the wolf beneath it all. You are very welcome, Keres responded, sitting next to the dark coated healer, tail curling around to keep her paws insulated as they sat in the snow.

His question wrested a sigh from her lips, a frown tugging at her expression. I hope not. If there is, I will do what is needed to protect my own but I prefer to not use violence otherwise. The image of the purple eyed harlot flashed thrrough her head, the malice that she had felt in her presence. And knowing now that she had attacked several of the Glen wolves already, Keres knew that if she met the woman again, she would use violence. War is good for no one, though, and I sincerely hope it does not come to that.

"Hmm" was all he says to her insomnia. Holland considers the matter closed until proven otherwise; lavender was easy enough to locate and he would give Keres the required dosage she needed if she needed it. Now that the talk centered around an upcoming battle, his red eye squints lightly. "I am used to leaders making decisions related toward violence."

He does not doubt there is urgency to actually rescue the woman called Simmik. No one could protest the urgency. But some of them voiced against marching right away. Some did not. Keres had more or less called out for calm, trying to remove infection slowly like Holland would a boil. "I am no fighter" he says quietly. Not anymore. "yet I will assist the wounded if need be." He would just rather not bleed another.

Mm. They will make the decision that is best for the packs. Of that, I am sure. I know my brother too well to wonder if he would allow the pack to run into a battle senselessly. And Dirge had held to that, tempering Hydra's immediate suggestion for Kynareth's loss of life with his own calm, reasonable demeanor; which was not to say that the Queen of the mountain was unreasonable, but rather her that hers was a different kind of reasonable. One that they would need in the most dire circumstances.

For a moment, her eyes trace the scars across his face, wondering how he had earned them if was not a fighter. It was not a question she gave voice to, for it was his story to tell only if he wished to tell it; Keres would not pry into a past that wasn't hers, even if they were friends. Perhaps it will come to a peacful conclusion, She said, voice a touch wistful as her gaze turned to the garden he had been working on last night when she had come by.

What will you grow here? She asked, interested in his craft simply because it interested him. It was something he seemed more keen to talk about, on the occassions she had asked him questions about it.

"I doubt it" he responds to her hope for a peaceful conclusion. From what he had seen, everyone was on edge due to these Saints. If not for their reputation but the kidnapping of a beta. That was bold, and held some hidden agenda. Yet this was his calculations as a former soldier. He would have done the same, once upon a time. Take an enemy's second in command to force surrender...

He attempted to take his mind off of it, gladdened Keres would ask about his garden. His neck twisted, more or less creaking from the cold, to view behind him. "Anything... that will grow in the shade" for plants needed sunlight to survive, even in warm months "thyme. Parsley. Mint." He listed them off easily enough, rolling his shoulders. He had plans to take some overgrown herbs and flowers and see what would grow as well...

Holland wondered why she even bothered sometimes. Lunaria was the same; most of the wolves here were keen to get to know him, despite his prickly exterior. But only Keres remained a constant.

Keres realized, then, that she did not know much about plants, besides the fact that they grew, needed water, and died. She knew there were flowers and grass and trees, and the few herbs and medicines she knew, but aside from those basic facts (and that they did not grow in winter, generally speaking), her scope was limited so much that the fact that not all of them could grow in the shade surprised her. Peering down at the dirt he sought to cultivate, she wondered if plantlife was as finnicky as wolves could be. Probably not, if Holland enjoyed them so much.

What else grows in the shade? She asked, voice rife with delight and curiosity. Without waiting, and without realizing her tail brushed back and forth across the snow, she asked another question, bright eyes turning up to the male wolf as she did so. Will you grow another garden where there is sunlight? She assumed so, that way he had access to just those that grew in the dark, but Holland was the resident medic (to her knowledge), so it would be him that decided.

"Mostly perennials" he explained quietly "small flowering plants and herbs" Yet, there were also evergreens in the species. They could grow all year round. He had yet to find them in the Teekons, knowing not where to look. "garlic and the lavender you took are some of them."

Holland hadn't considered finding a patch of sunlight to grow other plants. He was thoughtful before shaking his head. "The Glen is dark" he utters "any sun patches will be highly sought by others. They would trample the plants." Indirectly or directly, the flowers and herbs would die from the paw steps.

"I will dry the ones I cannot grow" he said "keep them in a cache."

Well, what about outside the Glen? The silvered woman asked, trying to think of a location they — he could use for such a garden. I'm sure there's an out of the way spot between here and the mountain that would be suitable. Even if he didn't think so, Keres would look around and perhaps even talk to Kukutux about discovering a spot for a shared garden. As soon as she thought it, her decision was made; come spring, she'd set about finding a place he could use.

How did you become interested in healing? She asked him, turning her interest and questions to him rather than his craft.

He had an inkling that Keres was already working an idea out in her own mind. He did not press, nor did he protest. Once the woman saw fit to do something, she wasn't so easily deterred. Many females were like this, and Holland had learned long ago to not question it. Instead, Keres posed a direct question at him.

He knew it would come eventually. All healers were asked such things. But his answer was more... complicated than saying he liked plants more than wolves. He glances away from Keres. "Atonement" the man says quietly, not really wishing to get into it. His past was never easy to talk about - but he suspects that's...

Well, normal for all wolves.

The answer he gave was heavy, carrying such weight even in just the one words that, for a moment, her ears lay back against her skull, watching as his head turned to avoid her gaze. It was a word she knew well, though not as personally as he seemed to. In the sudden and weighted silence, the distance between them seemed to yawn wide, wider than usual.

Not one to let such distance dissuade her, Keres stood then and took a careful, tentative step forward. When she got no reaction, she took another, and then one more to close that final distance and settle herself on her haunches next to him, shoulder pressed lightly to his side. Perhaps he would recoil at her touch, perhaps he would not, but the valkyrie would remain there all the same.

She would not ask him the questions that rose in her mind, for it was not her business to know. What was her business was to be there for him, a quiet companion, a boon to help heal what pain he felt in the little ways that she could.

He wasn't sad.

He wasn't upset or depressed or reminded of an uncomfortable situation. Holland just accepted this long ago, before coming to the Teekons. He knew the weight of it, of his reasons and decisions. Becoming emotional over something he could not fix was... illogical. He knew this.

Still, she sought to comfort him. He blinked his eyes; one useless and beyond repair while the other was oft an angry red orb. He was confused again. Why did she even bother? He was a ball of frustrated energy, irking all the others. They put up with him cause they needed his skills.

Perhaps it was that Keres felt guilty and responsible? She had indirectly led him to the Glen. His work ethic would be a stain on her resume if he was lazy. She vouched for him. Osiris surely would not have accepted him if so. Her fur brushed against his dark coat and he felt uncomfortable again.

He wasn't the type to be affectionate. Even around friends. Still, he didn't know really what to say. So he kept his mouth shut.

100th post woot!

Tell me more about the plants that you will grow here, She asked of him, breaking their quiet without moving away, ignorant to the discomfort of the placid-faced wolf. If the Ostrega had known, it was surely something that she'd have respected but as it turned out, the wolf was no mind-reader and so, remained in the dark about her breach of his space.

How will you water them? Because plants needed water, didn't they? As far as she knew, they seemed to flourish when it rained, and withered in the absence of it.

She does not know he's uncomfortable, or maybe she does. Perhaps talking about the plants is her way of making him comfortable again. Holland shuffles a bit on the spot. "Moss" he says quietly. It would be easier to fill the stomach of a prey animal with water and transport it but... he does not like the smell. "I will... soak it, walk with it and transfer it to the earth."

But what else would he grow? "Flowers" he says this almost in embarrassment. He looks away again, heat coming to his cheeks "I... like flowers" Even if they had no medical properities. Tending to them gave him a sort of inner peace. "moonflowers in particular." For it was like him in a way; nocturnal. They only bloomed at night, closing during the day.

Moss. She'd never have thought to use it for water other plants, unaware that it would soak up water as he described, another testament to his knowledge, she supposed. It was a wonder to her that such a thing was possible, that such creativity was possible to even think up such a solution.

Ears twitched at his further response, turning her head to look up at him, a touch surprised at the admission. Moonflowers? She repeated. I've never heard of them, or seen them. What are they like? They sounded pretty, just by the name, though she knew that names weren't always something to go by. It was why she had changed hers, after all.

"I-Ipomoea alba" he would continue through his fluster. Keres did not laugh - he doubted she would - but a man was not supposed to like flowers. Much less admit he liked them, even if he was a healer "it is a type of morning glory..."

Holland bents over, drawing the flower in the dirt. It is only four petalled, but those petals are wide. "They... only bloom at night. They like cold temperatures too, so they can survive if it's a bit chilly" he muses "and they close their petals during the day."

He huffs. "They are usually pure white. Very rare - yet not usable. They are... poisonous."

He moved and she watched, green eyes following the crude line he drew in the dirt to show her what he meant, ears listening to all he had to say about them. Each word he spoke, Keres hung on to, a smile developing on her features only to falter at the last. Poisonous. Like a snake? She asked, learning yet another thing under his tutelage.

Do you know why they only open at night? Another question, as he did not seem to mind handling many at once. A flower that bloomed at night and that could survive the cold — thrived in it, even — was a flower that she was very interested in seeing, and one that she would no doubt keep her eye out for in her travels.

"Yes - like a snake." It was a simple enough explanation. As long as Keres knew now to stay away and not ingest any - she would be fine. He'd have to procure some more yarrow though. If children were born in the spring and summer, they could easily find something poisonous... more plants were around then.

He'd have to watch carefully.

"Insects pollunate them at night" he went on quietly "nocturnal insects. It is the only time they'll open their petals, because they know the insects are coming." Like hawk moths in particular. Holland wondered why she wanted to know these things - Keres was not a medic. She was more attuned to recruitment and guarding the Glen.

Was she just humoring him? Or was she interested in the craft despite her other interests?

How do they know? She asked him, still not having moved from her spot beside him. He had not moved away, after all, so she figured it was alright. They do not have ears, or eyes... The valkyrie mused aloud, frowning slightly as she worked her way through her thoughts. They cannot think, I think... A gentle tilt of her head, before she looked to him once more. Do the insects tell them, somehow? Maybe that was it, the secret to the flowers opening for them at night.

"Nature" he says slowly "does not need to think" Holland explains quietly "it is brought on by years of survival, of trial and error. It is instinct." Wolves even display the same characteristics. Why do they seek packs? Survival. Why do they do this or that? Also survival. It is born and bred into each individual. Sort of like a plant.

"Nature is simple" and so much more easier "we take it for granted, but would not survive without it." He liked flowers, plants, herbs... They were straightforward. There was no underlining thing about it. No harsh words. No conspiracies. Everything was laid bare before him, and he could see it clearly. He liked that. But he waited to see if Keres had any more questions.

Nature. So simple a response and yet, so complex at the same time. Instinct in a thing so small, so insignificant, and yet the flowers too had their lot in life, just as the wolves did, as the deer and the hare did. We take many things for granted, I think. Keres said, voice soft as if she were lost in thought then.

Perhaps it was that the heat that emanated from him, keeping her warm in the cold autumn temperature, that lulled her into a sense of peacefullness. I'm glad you decided to come to the Glen, Holland, She said, finally getting to her feet when she realized she was getting a little too comfortable where she sat. Briefly, she stretched her back legs before looking to him, still shorter than him even when she stood and he sat.

Maybe we can go look for the moonflowers sometime? She asked, tail waving slowly, lazily behind her.

He didn't know what to say to that, so he said nothing. Merely dipping his head somewhat slightly, he watches as Keres stands. She asks if they could look for moonflowers one day, to which Holland grunts a reply. A confirming nod was given. And when she walks away, Keres would be leaving him to his business for the rest of the evening. He says nothing more, feeling suddenly tired.

end