Redhawk Caldera slipping and sliding

Maybe @Whip ? It's been forever since we threaded! tags for reference <3

The bear incident was starting to go to the back of Eljay's mind now. He hadn't seen it or smelt it around since that one time, so hopefully that meant that it was gone forever. Meanwhile, he knew it was time to start preparing for spring. Fennec was back, which was a great relief -- knowing that someone else was there to help him with the puppy season, especially now that he had some hopes of starting a family with Maia, wherever, at some point -- but he was curious as well if @Towhee and @Niamh were having pups this year. He presumed so at least for Niamh and Phox, ever the traditional man, but the question was always: When? And what about Towhee? Last year she had suddenly turned up pregnant. Would it be the same this year? Eljay had mixed feelings about Towhee's tactics in this, even though Meerkat had turned up fine. Of course, he'd never tell Towhee about that. He didn't want to be a dick about it despite his strong feelings on the matter.

Today Eljay had found a snow-covered hill which looked very slide-worthy. He wondered if he could convince @Alyx to go sliding down, in lack of Weejay. Or maybe it would be fun enough to slide down on his own? Eljay stood at the top of the hill and looked down, contemplating what he should do.

Some distance away, a monochrome figure climbed to the top of a particularly tall snowdrift-- at least, it was the tallest Rue had seen in the Caldera so far. It would have made for a good perch for scouting, Rue imagined, if she had still been a scout. As it was, she doubted she could even make it to the top of that hill in her condition. Furthermore, even if she did make it to the top, she certainly wouldn't make it back down. Not without triggering a significant amount of pain, at least. Downhill was much more painful that up, she had discovered, after a few failed attempts to descend the slope of the Caldera. 

Rue imagined that the man was probably a guardian for the Caldera, ready to spring into action the moment a threat announced itself. The silent sentry stood and watched, ever-vigilant, and for a long moment Rue watched him watching over the Caldera. It must have felt nice to have a job. To be helpful. Needed. She heaved a huge sigh, trying to dismiss the jealousy she was nursing toward the unnamed packmate. It would probably help to actually know him as a person, Rue reasoned, rather than allowing her imagination to construct a backstory rooted in her own insecurities. With another sigh, Rue started toward the hill-- slowly, limping, wincing from the pain jolting through her lower spine and hip.

It seemed like nobody would join him today. He stood and pondered for a moment. Thinking. Thinking about his parents and their legacy here at the Caldera, as long-standing Betas of the pack. Thinking about Maia's responsibilities towards her own pack now, and how excited she had looked to show him around. Thinking about the future; their future, and the subject they'd been sort of dancing around up until now. When and where would they start a family?

For now though, he decided to forget about it. Eljay looked down, feeling a little nervous, but in lack of pups around he decided to just slide down by himself. Better to practise a little so he could encourage the little ones next year, right? Eljay stepped back and forth a few paces as he stepped onto the hill and then sort of lay down on his side, causing him to start sliding down.

Since the hill was formidable but not overly steep, his descent was calm. When at the bottom of the hill, Eljay got up and shook the snow from his fur. He looked around to see someone standing not far from him. With a sheepish, surprised expression Eljay greeted, Oh, uh, hi.

As Rue approached, the man began his decent, which was somewhat lacking in dignity and divergent from the vigilant-sentry backstory Ruenna had created for him. A small smile tugged at her expression. Humor had a way of dispelling pain, and by the end of her packmate's slide, Rue was already feeling a little lighter. 

The hill delivered the man just about to her feet. Her tail twitched amicably when his gaze landed on her.

"Hi," Rue returned. "I'm Ruenna." Her eyes danced with amusement, flicking up to the top of the hill and then back to her packmate.

There was some sort of amusement about her when she introduced herself. Maybe because she'd just seen him slide down the hill? Eljay knew that some would condemn him for this kind of enjoyment. He said, I was puppy-proofing the hill. Then he realised that this response wasn't really warranted because on the outside, she'd only really introduced herself. The amusement was only written all over her face, not in the words that came out of her mouth. Sometimes Eljay forgot that he couldn't just use others' emotions in a conversation like that.

Realising his mistake, Eljay quickly went on to introduce himself, sounding a bit like he was in a hurry, I'm Eljay, the pack's caretaker. You must be new..? It's a pleasure to meet you. These words were piled on top of each other while Eljay's brain tried to catch up to his tongue, and he smiled sheepishly at Ruenna while he felt his cheeks heat up beneath his fur in mild embarrassment.

The man rushed to explain himself, and Rue tilted her head.

"Of course. We're all excited for our soon-to-be new arrivals." Rue wagged her tail, hoping to put the man at ease. He seemed like he might have been put a bit on the defensive, and that hadn't been Rue's intention. 

Oh, it was Eljay. She'd heard of him. 

Speaking of new arrivals...

"Yep, pretty new here. But I'm an old friend of Towhee's. And Phox's." 

Eljay was smiling in sort of a shy way, which was actually kind of sweet, and it had a strange effect on Rue. She swallowed, pushing the feeling down. She knew Towhee had been holed up with one of the Caldera males, and with Rue's luck, it was probably this one. Rue didn't want to stir up trouble by looking sideways at Towhee's guy.

"I'm a scout," she struggled to add, remembering that Eljay had given his trade. "Or.." Whoops.  She wasn't exactly a scout, now was she? "Or, I used to be, I guess." Oof. Now it was Rue's turn to be embarrassed.

She easily talked along with him when he mentioned puppy-proofing the hill, and Eljay felt relieved. He smiled at her appreciatively. It was always a bit of a guess whether someone was going to be friendly, like she was, or if they might be... well, a bit of a dick. Unfortunately, he'd experienced both things in equal measure, and he knew that someone being a friend of Phox and Towhee's didn't mean they'd be nice folk; at least to someone like him.

Oh, did you live with them at the uh.. He tried to remember the place. The Strath? Hopefully he'd remembered that right. Then as he said it, he felt a pang of pain as he thought of Elfie, and then said, Did you meet Elfie there? It seemed to come completely out of the blue, and he waited breathlessly for a response to this question.

He did note that she said she was no longer a scout and he wanted to ask about that, but first he couldn't help but wait with bated breath for her response to his question about Elfie. It might not bring his boy back, but somehow hearing stories about him made Eljay feel as if some part of Elfie was still with him, as if he could learn more about his boy in some other way.

"Yes, that's right," Rue answered his question about the Strath, returning his smile. Eljay must have been with Towhee and Phox for a while if he knew about that little chapter in their history. 

Elfie... Elfie... Rue searched her memory, which was admittedly a little fuzzy when it came to events before the avalanche. Eljay's eye were on her, and Rue couldn't help but feel like the question was emotionally fraught. She wondered why. 

"The child.." Rue murmured at last, brow furrowing as she tried to remember more. Her time in the Strath felt like ages ago. She recalled the little gray pup showing up, about the age of Figment and Fennec. He certainly wasn't with them very long before the landslide. 

"..Gray and white, with eyes like the ocean." Rue paused, wondering if that description would spark recognition. Rue knew that often eye and pelt color changed as a wolf matured. Elfie would probably be almost unrecognizable now, just like Figment and Fennec. All grown up.

His question seemed to make the cogs in her brain whir quite a bit. He held his breath through it all, and only when she mentioned grey and white released. Somewhat rueful, he shook his head. No, he was... Yes, he was a child, but he's -- he painfully swallowed in the present tense, was red, with... With freckles, and green eyes. The latter two things sported by Eljay himself, too, and the former a stark reminder of Wiffle. With a stripe on his back.

Eljay didn't expect her to know who he was now; after all, if she would've known, then she would have already shared it with him. He shook his head and swallowed, then said, Never mind, I'm sorry. As he suddenly felt rather sheepish for dragging her into this dark and twisted memory lane.

Rue nodded apologetically. It was possible the child she recalled wasn't Elfie, and it was also equally possible that her memory wasn't firing on cylinders. She had been hit awfully hard in that landslide. 

"I'm sorry too," Rue answered quietly. "Elfie sounds like he was a really special boy." Rue was a perceptive woman, and it hadn't been much of a leap for her to put two-and-two together. Eljay himself had the freckles, green eyes, and stripe. There was little doubt that Elfie's red-hued pelt must have come from his mother. It was also clear from Eljay's slip between past and present tense that he was speaking about a child who was no longer with them.  

Rue wondered if the child had been lost in the landslide, as she herself nearly was.

Their conversation seemed to have suddenly plummeted into something deeper. It was a bit of a weird way to get to know one another, and Eljay hadn't really thought about going here at all until he suddenly did. He had never really met wolves from Towhee's old pack. The thought that one of them might know Elfie, might have stories about Elfie, suddenly grasped at him like wildfire. The flame was easily put out by Ruenna's lack of knowledge, and the hope that had been shining in his eyes even throughout his description of Elfie dimmed once again.

He shook his head as she apologised, suddenly feeling melancholic. His thoughts were swimming with Elfie; oh, it was such a shame that she hadn't known him. He would have loved to hear all about Elfie's adventures in Towhee's pack. It was the closest he would ever get to holding his little boy again... Stories.

Eljay grimaced and shook his head. He really was... I should've been a better dad, should've been there for him when he needed me to let him go, should've gone to visit him at the grove... There are so many regrets that clung to Elfie's far too young demise in that avalanche (well, as far as Eljay knew, anyway). I'm sorry, I didn't mean for our first meeting to be such a downer. I just thought... If you'd known him, maybe you'd have some memories... Eljay shook his head and grimaced.

Sorry. Uh... We should talk about something else. He then suddenly remembered the thing she'd said about scouting that had grabbed his attention. You mentioned you were a scout, past tense -- so, uh, did you retire, or..? He was ready to throw himself at this totally different direction, happy to get out of the my-dead-son corner of this first meeting.

Rue nodded sympathetically, but she didn't say anything further. She averted her gaze away from Eljay out of respect, because he was clearly dealing with some difficult emotions. Maybe sliding down that hill had made him think of his son... maybe that was something they had done together, once. 

Eljay apologized again, explaining that he thought she might have had something to share about the boy. Rue opened her mouth to respond, but Eljay quickly changed the subject before she could speak. 

"Uh.. yeah," Rue confirmed, a little awkwardly. They were going to jump straight from Eljay's emotional baggage to hers, it seemed. She realized that he must not have seen her approach, because anyone who saw her move would know exactly why she wasn't a scout anymore. 

"It's this," Rue said, limping in a small circle to demonstrate the problem. "It's this shooting pain in my lower back whenever I move. Downhill slopes are the worst. I..." She swallowed, taking a moment to fight her embarrassment. Her packmates needed to know the extent of her ability-- or disability, rather. "..I can't even get out of the Caldera," she admitted, voice small. Some scout she was.

Eljay had hoped to change the subject, and while he succeeded, it was clear that he had opened up a wound in the process. Not used to being so rash, but used to being socially awkward, Eljay frowned and looked apologetic. It had to be awful to be unable to do something that you enjoyed so very much.

Oh no, said Eljay sympathetically. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but what caused it? After another short moment of silence he added, That's really awful, to lose something that means so much to you. I usually stay within the Caldera, but just because I -- am too much of a coward. -- I like it here. It's home. It feels safe. He wasn't sure why he shared. Maybe because he hoped that she would see that it didn't have to be the worst thing, or a shameful thing at all. That there were others who were that way, even though of course it was less bad for him because he had chosen for it to be that way and she hadn't. Or perhaps so that she knew she'd have at least one friend here.

Rue nodded appreciatively. It was kind of him to console her, especially since her loss paled in comparison to his own. 

Rue knew what he meant. She hadn't been in the Caldera long, but Towhee and Phox being here made it feel like home. 

"There are definitely worse places I could have gotten stuck," Rue agreed, a glimmer of humor returning to her features. The Caldera was very safe by way of design, and it provided everything a wolf could ask for. 

"It was the landslide that buried the Strath," Rue explained, getting back to the original question. "I was really hurt, and I haven't been the same since." She was pretty much useless now. Rue worried that it was only a matter of time before Phox and Towhee realized that she was little more than deadweight, dragging down a pack which would soon have so many additional little mouths to feed.

Eljay smiled at Ruenna as she said there could've been worse places to be stuck. Redhawk Caldera was fantastic, and he couldn't imagine himself living any other place. Except, maybe... Well, maybe alongside Maia, wherever that would be. The Fen or otherwise. Some days he dreamt of just grabbing her and running off together. But Redhawk Caldera... It breathed home. It had a nostalgic quality to it. And it was hard to imagine his future pups growing up anywhere but at the Blackthorn den.

She went on to say what had caused it, and Eljay instantly regretted asking the question. A startled frown fell over his face. Maybe he should've anticipated this answer, but he totally hadn't, and found himself flustered and once more reminded of Elfie. The landslide — that's where Elfie had died, too.

Yeah, it was a terrible thing... Eljay said solemnly. But I'm glad you're still — I'm glad you got here. He smiled at Ruenna, hoping to show that their rocky start didn't linger too much with him. She was here now, after all, and she was a part of their pack now.

Eljay's features darked instantly at the mention of the landslide, lending credence to Rue's theory about Elfie's death. Somehow, the conversation had managed to circle back around to the unfortunate child, despite their attempts to change the subject. Eljay soldiered on, managing to cast the events in a more optimistic light through-- as it seemed to Rue-- sheer force of will. 

"Me too." She wagged her tail, hoping to show that she appreciated his effort to remain upbeat. 

"So I, uh, haven't really told anyone else that. That I can't.. leave." Rue swallowed. She'd really been hoping that she'd find some way to fix it-- some herb, some stretch, something-- before she had to admit her problem to Towhee. Or Phox, or anyone in leadership. Anyone with eyes could see she was in pain, but Rue wasn't quite ready to own up to the extent of her uselessness.

It helped improve Eljay's mood further when Ruenna said that she was happy to be here, too.

Next came an unexpected confession. If his mind hadn't already been diverted from the subject of Elfie, it sure was now. Eljay frowned. He totally understood. Eljay himself would feel nervous to admit being physically less useful to Towhee; she was strong and he knew that she'd looked down on his own uselessness in the past. Now, that were good with one another, but it hadn't airways been that way. It didn't surprise him Ruenna was hesitant.

No worries, I won't tell, Eljay said with a soft smile. That was her story to tell and she could tell it on her own time. He did however say, For all her strong front, Towhee does care about every wolf in this pack. If you've lived with her and Phox before, I'm sure she appreciates and sees your other values. Take your time, but when you feel ready, please remember that. Eljay smiled reassuringly, hoping that he could give Ruenna the courage to tell Towhee. He felt confident that she wouldn't throw Ruenna out for something like that. Maybe it'd even bring them closer together.

"Thanks." Rue expressed her gratitude with a smile and a somewhat feeble wag of her tail. 

He was right about Towhee. Rue knew this, despite her frustration at her own shortcomings. Towhee had promoted her to Beta back in Asterism Grove, which led Rue to believe that she had  in some way outshined other candidates. Come to think of it, that was not her first time serving at her leader's right hand. Liri and Kavik had seen something special in Rue as well, and they had titled her accordingly. Stars, Towhee had even suggested to Rue that she ought to go found and lead a sisterpack. Rue was entirely mystified as to what leadership qualities others seemed to see in her, but clearly Towhee saw something in Rue that she respected. 

"You wouldn't have anything for it, would you?" Rue asked, a bit suddenly. He was a caregiver, right? Didn't that mean he could do some healing or something? "Like, for the pain?" she elaborated. She expected that if there was something Eljay could do for her medically, he would have already suggested it, but it didn't hurt to ask, right?

Eljay knew he couldn't make any decisions or have any talks for her, but he hoped she'd take his advice at least. He smiled, but the smile fell off his face when Ruenna asked for something against the pain.

The Copse's stocks all drowned in the flood, Eljay admitted ruefully. And then winter hit. So I don't have a lot right now. I'm keeping what I have for emergencies. And only that did he have at the mercy of Moonspear. But come spring, when things start to grow, I'll make sure to stock up on extra things for you. Eljay smiled at her as he made the promise. Everything would be easier when things started to grow again.

"Its okay. I'll manage," Rue rushed to reassure Eljay, troubled to see that she had once more caused the smile to fall from his face. They were really struggling to keep things upbeat, weren't they? 

Rue thought about asking Eljay if he wouldn't mind showing her around the medicine den, once they were resupplied. She had some background knowledge in wound-care, and it would go a long way towards making her feel more useful if she could somehow be of help to the caregiver. Unless some miracle occurred, Rue would never again be the scout she used to be. An old dog can learn new tricks though, and Rue wondered what Eljay might think about taking on trainee. 

However, she held her tongue .. for now. She had only just met Eljay, and she didn't want to step on his toes or impose on him any further. She didn't want to put him in the position of having to let her down a second time. 

"It was nice meeting you," she said after a pause, noticing that their conversation had sort of wound itself down. She was almost afraid to bring up another topic, worried that anything she mentioned would somehow end up bumming them both out even more.

Had Eljay not had his meltdown not long after, Ruenna might have gotten to know him as a person who thoughtfully frowned easily, but thankfully was also easy enough to bring back to good spirits. Not every frown was sadness. He totally understood the desire to reassure another of how it wasn't a big deal, though. He appreciated the gesture.

As she said it was nice to meet him, Eljay smiled softly. Yeah, it was nice to meet you too, Ruenna. He lingered for a moment longer to wait and see if she wanted to talk about anything else. Then he said, Right, I should probably get back to pup proofing the hill. Eljay chuckled, hesitated a moment whether he should invite her, then realised with her leg it was probably not the best idea, then thought maybe he could carry her, then realised what a silly ideas that was... and he turned away with a last smile in her direction and started climbing the hill again.

Eljay departed, clearly keen on taking at least one more slide down the hill. Rue watched him climb the hill a bit wistfully; if it wasn't for her back pain, she imagined she might have joined the caregiver in his puppy-like antics, slipping and sliding in the snow in the name of protecting those not-yet-born.

Rue pulled her gaze away, and she began to move off slowly, her gait lurching and ungainly.