Bearclaw Valley to go, to run, to go, to run

@Ancelin was gone.
he had left her and @Amneris with one bone each, an offering, perhaps; a way to make up for the loss of his presence. but even still, this greatly disconcerted athalia. she felt a deep, inky spiraling of emotion she had never quite felt before, much less understood —
she was upset. and she missed him.
what she did not know was that her birthmother's misgivings had left a driving mark upon her psyche. simple psychology; a baby needs her mother and father, and neither of those remained. her siblings, too, save for amneris; gone to whatever blackness mother had dissolved into. and she also did not quite understand that ancelin would come back.
her frustrations would become the bane of @Ameline, who saw her now with the deerbone clutched between her clacking talons. a disapproving glare, a glassiness to the dimly lit sunglow of her eyes. athalia prods her often, always with the same request that she could not fulfill:

ancelin.

"He'll be back," 

Her tone was confident, but reassuring. Her features softened, though, when she saw something in the child's eyes that she would have recognized from a reflection she'd seen on her own face when she'd been young. These girls had been abandoned or lost once before- and perhaps now she feared the same thing might happen again. 

A notion Ameline knew all too well. 

She alone knew the promises that had been made when she had accepted the Bearclaw name. Now, she thought, might be the time to let the girls in on that promise as well. Athalia did not look as though she would easily be reassured- so perhaps she deserved something better than reassurance- the truth. 

"Y'know...Both Anthelin an' me, our parent'th left too, when we wuh juth't kidth." She confessed. "An' the oneth that took uth in aftuh? They left too." She was still furious with Prophet, and beyond disappointed in Avicus regardless of the fact that her disappearance had not been by choice. "Anthuh knowth how it feelth to be abandoned...He wouldn't do that to you. Nor would I."

ty for joining <333

he'll be back. he wouldn't do that to you.
athalia heard it but could not internalize it. her blood churns with a simmering sorrow, an illness that made the bile race up to her throat.
she suckles on a digit of her forepaw, and her eyes narrow in a sinfully cold way as she turns her gaze upon ameline. she did not know what to do with herself, with this feeling, with this —
when she closes her eyes, she sees mommy.
mommy hadn't wanted her, either, had she?
her teeth grind inside of her mouth as they begin to press down on the paw. it hurts but she does not stop. with the other gangly limb, she gestures out into the open.
birds gone too.

thanks for starting a thread and tagging me in it! I was away for a bit but I was super happy to get to this once I got back :)

She could recognize the signs of anxiety. Her words would be of little use, not until they had been proven to be true- and likely, it would take more than one return to reassure her that not everyone left for good when they went away. She kept it in the back of her mind to ask Ancelin to do more short day trips, so that the girl might adjust. 

The chewing, sucking, however- was not something she was able to tolerate, not when she saw the movement in Athalia's jaw. She pushed the bone toward the girl, her gaze gentle but firm. "Chew thith, inthtead," She said, hoping that chewing on something other than her own dewclaw might suffice. 

She looked up, and sighed, breathing in the cool air which she wished would warm, soon. "They go, every year." She said. "Firtht the little birdth, then the duckth, then the geethe. They come back in Thpring." She remembered how difficult and empty her first winter had seemed, in the wake of being left behind to fend for herself. She had been taken in by the time the cold winds came, but she still felt a pang of loss accentuated by just how quiet, lonely and cold the winter was. "You like the birdth?" She asked, then.

:DDD <3

the throbbing feeling in her toes soon tapers. ameline nudges ancelin's gift toward athalia, and while she hesitates at first, she soon accepts it and runs her tongue along the ridges.
the birds will come back, too, her guardian says. this prospect excites athalia. friends, she chirps, wiping away a ribbon of snot from her nose with her wrist. birds talk.
they still spoke to her in her dreams.
why leave? she retorts with a soft tilt of her head. birds. an-cel-in. why?

Birds were friends? Ameline didn't necessarily see it the same way- birds could be eaten, if they could be caught- but she supposed the little songbirds, the ones most capable of being friends, she guessed- were too difficult to catch, and she assumed that Athalia liked the sounds that they made. She smiled. "They thing, too," She said. Some better than others, of course- she would take the warbling of a sparrow over the raucous calls of a raven anyday. 

The girl wanted explanations, so Ameline settled down to explain. "Birdth don't have thick fur, like we do. Winter'th too cold for thome of 'em. The oneth that eat bugth leave 'cause there'th no bugth in wintuh." At least, as far as she could figure. "Thome of 'em live on water, tho they have to fly Thouth to find water that ithn't frothen." That could explain the ducks and geese, at least. 

"Anthuhlin, he goeth out to hunt, or to talk to the othuh packth in the area. We want thith to be our home, tho...We gotta make friendth, with our neighbourth. That'th what he'th doin...An' he'th good at it," She said, lest the girl worry.

wanna fade here and have a more utd one? <3

athalia listens as she gnaws idly on the bone between her wrists, slobbering on it before dragging her canines across the surface. she likes the way the tiny indentations feel on her tongue; the intricacies, signs of former life.
bird like warm, the girl squawks. bird come back. she wanted to understand; wanted to believe that maybe ameline was right. she thought of what could happen if their neighbors didn't like them, of how it would feel to be crushed between their jaws, and she decides that she does not want that to happen to her family.
she liked them.
she wriggles around until she's pressed up against ameline's breast, bone-gift still tucked between her arms. here she wanted to stay until ancelin came back.

sure thing!

She smiled as Athalia seemed to warm to the explanation, and she sighed as the girl moved to tuck herself against her chest. "Eckthactly," She said, giving the girl a light squeeze. She chewed away on her bone, which seemed to prove a welcome distraction from the fear that someone she loved might not come back. 

Ameline knew he would- only death would keep him away, and her man was a survivor. 

As for the young one in her arms, she would be held as long as she was comfortable, and Ameline would savour the girl's youth and dependence for some time. She wouldn't raise Athalia and Amneris to be cruel and distant, to bicker and fight- they would have a different upbringing. She would be held and loved, and reassured when it was needed- and perhaps most importantly of all, promises would be kept.