Broken Boulder this sadness in our hearts is kinda killing me

Alarian softened only by fractions as Korei began to hum, agitated now for some inexplicable reason. He desperately wanted to reach out to her, to apologize, but something stopped him.
Her question made him pause, look away with a hard swallow. The boy was about to answer, about to confess everything-- but then she said his name and something bitter and sharp was suddenly lodged in his throat.
I-- no. The lie came unbidden, forceful, as if he was trying to convince himself as well. It crumbled in the next second. Kind of. He's-- he's gone. He just left, just like that. I can't-- I don't think I can--
The boy cut himself off, unable to say the words that had gone through his mind so many times these past few days. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't know if he could do it.