Heron Lake Plateau Chocolate outline

Niamh didn't exactly notice if Quixote had stiffened from her touch, as she was still too distracted by her current situation to pick up on his body language. He answered, and seemed like he was willing to listen to her, but she did catch on to the fact that he was...Well, maybe a bit awkward about it. Had he always been this stiff, or had she just been too dense to notice? She felt plenty familiar with him, but then again, she was usually quick to warm up to strangers. Quixote probably just regarded her like an acquaintance, and she found herself wondering if she wouldn't have been better off talking to Raven. 

She wondered, too, for just a moment, if perhaps he was being a bit awkward because he thought she knew something, but wasn't telling him...But now wasn't the time for that. She sat down and sighed, brow knit and lips pursed. What was she supposed to say? She'd already opened the bag, so she might as well just let the cat out, right? The trouble was that she had a few cats in that bag- and they were arguing over which should be let out first, but in the end, she chose to go with the problem she'd already started talking about. 

"It's kind of stupid." She began, and turned her ears back. "It's really stupid." Why had she even bothered going to tell him? It wasn't like it was a problem Raven and Quixote should be expected to solve- she and Ceara were adults. If she tracked Ceara down, and she'd cooled down enough, Niamh probably could have sorted the whole issue out on her own...There were things she needed to explain, in order for Ceara to really understand why she'd lashed out. 

"So...The day Screech woke up, Ceara barged into my den without asking, and I kicked her out. I was just...Overwhelmed that he'd actually like...Not died, and I took that out on her. I mean, I don't like people barging into my den, especially when I got a half-dead Screech in there. I didn't trust her, because she told me she fed him like...Bad apples or something and made him get sort of like, sick, or something, so she was the last person I wanted around him." She said. Of course, she had other reasons to be overprotective of Screech and hostile toward Ceara- but she didn't even like to admit those reasons to herself. "I felt I had a right to protect Screech, an' kick an unwanted visitor out of my den, that she just...Well she just barged in without even a 'hello,' or asking if she could come in. I don't like having strangers in my den. I don't like having strangers poking around at Screech, either. It was rude, and I was overtired and overstressed and she just poked the wrong bear." She said. In her opinion, of course, Ceara had been asking for it. 

"I kind of figured it'd just be that. I wasn't gonna bring it up, 'cause I figured she'd come to her senses and realized that she'd done wrong by going into my den like that; I didn't think she'd hold a grudge against me for kicking her out of my own den." She said. It simply didn't make sense- if anything, she'd expected an apology, but she certainly hadn't got that. "So when I saw her today, I just wanted to see what she was up to, 'cause I'd let the whole thing slide, y'know, it was a mistake she made and it was over. But she just...snapped at me. And I didn't provoke her- she just got right angry and sassy with me, like...She was really unpredictable and disrespectful. That's the second time she's disrespected me now, an' I think she's got it out for my rank or something, I dunno, 'cause she went on a tangent about how I've apparently been doing nothing for the pack but taking care of Screech and she's been doing everything herself. She was like...saying that I don't deserve my rank, and that I've been too busy taking care of Screech to have my rank. Which is bullshit- who would let another packmate die just so they could like scout and stuff?" She said, and frowned. "I know I've been busy with him...He can't get water or hunt for himself- but I do still patrol, and I'm freaking'...Hunting for two, and it's tough. I mean, you know what it's like, trying to feed another adult and yourself, and I have to bring him water, too. And I'm still afraid, he'll...If he goes back to sleep-"

She choked on her words, then. She gritted her teeth and did her best to control her emotions. She was still overtired, overstressed, and starving. She should have been taking better care of herself- but it wasn't exactly easy, when caring for a wolf who was more or less an invalid. The thought of Screech going to sleep and not waking up again terrified her. It kept her awake- and it took all the strength she had not to poke and prod him and wake him up every now and again just to make sure he would wake up. 

"She challenged me, and I told her to stand down." She said. "Not like...outright challenged me, but she just...She wouldn't stop. She was just accusing me of doing nothing, and said stupid shit about me not letting his family see him, which is bullshit. Raven's been in and out every damn day, bless her," She said. "But Ceara...I dunno, she's just...Something's off about her, and I don't want her around Screech, not while he's like this. I don't trust her." She said. "And now, seeing how unpredictable she is, I just...I dunno. I tried to get her to stand down but she wouldn't. She was asking for a fight, but I'm like...I dunno, I see no reason in packmates fighting for rank. But she shouldn't have been so sassy and rude, picked a fight and then refused to stand down. I don't trust her, Quixote," She admitted, with a tired but nervous tone to her voice. "She's a loose cannon." 

She took a breath then, and shook her head. "None of this is your problem, though. And I don't really know why I came to tell you...Knowing her, which I...I don't, really, but I'd assume right now she's gone to cry to Raven. I dunno what she's telling her, but it's not going to make me look pretty..." She said, and shrugged. Who would Raven believe more, the newcomer or Niamh? "I'd told her, when she accused me of slacking in my duties, that if you and Raven didn't think I was doing my job, you woulda demoted me. I don't...I dunno how much she trusts your judgement. And if she's telling me to my face she thinks I'm a slackass, she's probably telling others, too. I just...I'm doing my best. I'm doing everything I can." She said, and pursed her lips together. She glanced up at Quixote again, with doleful, exhausted eyes. 

"Like I said. It's all really stupid."