Tuktu Hinterlands So I'll go- but I'm telling you, I don't wanna go.

"Bad Timing" by Blue Rodeo came up on Youtube after listening to "Break Up in the End" and hoooollllyyyyy it fitssssss tooooo.

...Except it wasn't bad timing, it was Niamh being an idiot. lawl. 

Niamh hadn't intended to linger, as the cold, open space made her feel unwanted and unwelcome enough, but even pausing for a few moments after saying her apology- as heartfelt as it might have been- was an error she made and quickly realized as the breeze lifted. She thought first perhaps it might be a simple touch- not forgiveness, but acknowledgement at least- until she caught Colt's scent. It came upon her first triggering bittersweet memories, but when she lifted her solemn gaze to meet his, she was reminded of her own foolishness and she felt like a child being disciplined for sneaking somewhere she did not belong. She was quick to shuffle backwards; she had given the tree itself a respectful distance, but to be caught in the area at all, clearly focused on that place...She knew she'd done wrong, but she would still defend her choice, and he asked her to do so with the first, uncharacteristically cold words he spoke. 

She felt like a stranger at the borders of a pack she did not belong to, the borders of a pack that had known of her idiocy and had been warned not to allow her to sully their peace. She wilted and at first, she couldn't bring herself to look at him as she felt ashamed. She was caught- and Niamh never did well when she was put under pressure or interrogated. This time, though, she was far removed from her hot-tempered self and instead all she felt was remorse. Now she was in the proper headspace to begin apologizing to Colt- though part of her knew she would never live long enough or apologize enough to earn forgiveness. 

"I came to apologize, to her." She said- she truly hadn't expected Colt to show up. In their time together, he hadn't left often- as far as she knew- to visit that very place, so she'd assumed that sneaking in even just less than ten minutes in that one place in the entire world that she might have ten minutes without him there. Fate, however, seemed to deem it appropriate for her to be herded away, as she supposed she ought to be. "She should've...You should've had her longer. She should've had time, and it's not fair...It's not fair that I do and she doesn't. I feel like...She would've wanted something good for you...And I came along and just ruined it. So...I had to apologize." She said, lifting her gaze to softly regard the tree and where the snow covered its base, before she turned her gaze away; she didn't deserve to be there; she didn't deserve to be where she was at all. She wanted to say so much more- but she stopped herself, knowing she'd likely already said too much. Over-explaining came too naturally for her, and it was a habit she was trying to break. The hurt that settled into the worn-out pocket of her chest made her catch a sob in her throat. "I'm sorry, Colt." She wasn't sure how he would respond, but silently she hoped he would take the life from her that she didn't deserve. With a pleading gaze, she begged him, silently resigned to the forfeit of anything and everything she had, should he choose to take it from her.